Oh heyyyyyyy, bloglies. How are you doing? How was your Thanksgiving? What are you up to these days? It's been a while since I've checked in. I mean, I've just been swamped, is all. I've been soooooo tied up sleeping till 11am and trolling pinterest for 3 hours a day and eating 1000 soda cookies and not washing my hair.
Swamped.
But okay, I need to not be self-deprecating because hilarious self-deprecation is only funny for so long, which is partly why I haven't been blogging very much lately. I actually had expected myself to blog a ton over the last month, so it's kind of weird that my Halloween post is only like three entries ago. The good news is that it is due to busy-ness and not a complete lack of motivation or meaning.
I mean, sure, I've had a lot of time to hang out with my kitties and watch a lot of documentaries on Netflix while I yarn my little fingers off, but that's been progressive! I placed 5th overall in the silly little competitive walk/jog I did on Thanksgiving morning (still hate running-- not sure that will ever change, but I'm happy that I ran at least some of it, eh?) and I'm also pretty excited to announce my forthcoming Etsy shop: PRIBBLES & PRABBLES: THE STORE.
Hooray! So now maybe this hobby can pay off a little! Annnnnnnd I'll be offering discounts to those who Follow pribbles & prabbles: the blog. Eyes peeled for that, everybody. All comments and advice is appreciated.
Also, we've had a Christmas tree for three days. Tis the season.
28 November 2011
17 November 2011
simple happy
I think the greatest thing to happen to my unemployment is Nick Toons on Netflix.
No, I'm serious.
I had kind of a frazzled morning so I came home to work on my handmade Christmas (only 37 days until then OMG HOW WILL I FINISH EVERYTHING??) and turned on Hey Arnold!, which has made the day infinitely better. Like, inexpressibly better. Like, this is one of the greatest shows ever drawn.
FUN FACT: a ton of the kid voices of Hey Arnold! were also kid voices on Recess, including the original voice of Arnold himself who went on to play King Bob. The more you know!
Few people know/understand how important Nick Toons are to my very core as a human being. Probably only my parents and little sister Lizzy. Sometimes, on long car rides, we'd ask Mom how much longer we'd be in the car and she'd tell us, "Four more Dougs." And then we'd ask, "Like four more individual Dougs, like the 15-minute episodes, or four more Dougs, like the whole 30 minutes?"
I bought the first season of Doug on DVD a while ago. Ames doesn't really get it. It's too bad. I need my someday children to love Doug and Hey Arnold! and Rugrats and all the classics!
Because Nick Toons heal all wounds.
And so do Christmas trees, and we are getting ours the very minute they go on sale at the lot across from Target.
No, I'm serious.
I had kind of a frazzled morning so I came home to work on my handmade Christmas (only 37 days until then OMG HOW WILL I FINISH EVERYTHING??) and turned on Hey Arnold!, which has made the day infinitely better. Like, inexpressibly better. Like, this is one of the greatest shows ever drawn.
FUN FACT: a ton of the kid voices of Hey Arnold! were also kid voices on Recess, including the original voice of Arnold himself who went on to play King Bob. The more you know!
Few people know/understand how important Nick Toons are to my very core as a human being. Probably only my parents and little sister Lizzy. Sometimes, on long car rides, we'd ask Mom how much longer we'd be in the car and she'd tell us, "Four more Dougs." And then we'd ask, "Like four more individual Dougs, like the 15-minute episodes, or four more Dougs, like the whole 30 minutes?"
I bought the first season of Doug on DVD a while ago. Ames doesn't really get it. It's too bad. I need my someday children to love Doug and Hey Arnold! and Rugrats and all the classics!
Because Nick Toons heal all wounds.
And so do Christmas trees, and we are getting ours the very minute they go on sale at the lot across from Target.
13 November 2011
elevenophile
I have a dilemma on my hands. I mean, I know it's not a big deal but it's something I've been thinking about for the last two days that's really weighing on my mind.
Okay. So you know how people have lucky numbers? And like, people wish on their lucky numbers and they gamble on their lucky numbers and those lucky numbers sometimes are party lucky because they, like, "follow' people around?
Well my lucky number is 11.
I just like 11! I like to fill my gas tank so that I spend money in totals ending in 11 or some multiplication of 11 (like 22 or 33 or 99). The number of times I've TOTALLY UNINTENTIONALLY looked at the clock at 11:11 over the years is really quite startling. And then I make wishes on 11:11 all the time.
Also the word eleven is the most fun number to say. It's the most unique. It's the only "basic" number (that is to say, not followed by -teen or preceded by thirty- or ninty-) that has three syllables. It's the first number to fall in love with itself and demand to be counted twice at the same time.
I just really like 11, okay? It's a thing. No big deal.
Except that on Friday it kind of became a big deal because everyone all over the world was like "OMG IT'S 11:11 on 11/11/11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
TWICE.
ON THE SAME DAY.
And aside from everyone simply feeling the need to update Facebook and Twitter and whatever about the fact (since no one in the world possibly even knew that, especially not elevenophiles...) I just been a little worried about the idea that for one day-- one singular day in a whole entire century!-- that 11 was everyone's favorite number, and everyone was wishing (TWICE!!!!!!!) on 11 and somehow all of those wishes would negate themselves.
Or worse, my little wishes (because duh, I wished twice, are you kidding?) would somehow get lost in the vast universe of lucky number wishes.
WHAT IF THE UNIVERSE DIDN'T HEAR MY WISHES THROUGH ALL OF THE DUEL SHALLOW WISHING?!!!
I mean, I get that I should be celebrating Eleven Awareness or something, and I don't mean to say that all the other wishes are shallow, I'm sorry for saying that, but I could really use the power of the Universe behind me right now is all I'm saying, okay?
I guess I can wish at 12:12 on 12/12/12 next year, and then I'll HOLLA at my Chwelve friends from the good ol' days at Timpview High, and pass my worries to the Twelveophiles who will tooooootally get it next year.
Also, does my admitting that my favorite number is 11 negate it in some superstitious way, like telling people what your birthday cake wishes are or whatever?
OH GREAT.
Okay. So you know how people have lucky numbers? And like, people wish on their lucky numbers and they gamble on their lucky numbers and those lucky numbers sometimes are party lucky because they, like, "follow' people around?
Well my lucky number is 11.
I just like 11! I like to fill my gas tank so that I spend money in totals ending in 11 or some multiplication of 11 (like 22 or 33 or 99). The number of times I've TOTALLY UNINTENTIONALLY looked at the clock at 11:11 over the years is really quite startling. And then I make wishes on 11:11 all the time.
Also the word eleven is the most fun number to say. It's the most unique. It's the only "basic" number (that is to say, not followed by -teen or preceded by thirty- or ninty-) that has three syllables. It's the first number to fall in love with itself and demand to be counted twice at the same time.
I just really like 11, okay? It's a thing. No big deal.
Except that on Friday it kind of became a big deal because everyone all over the world was like "OMG IT'S 11:11 on 11/11/11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
TWICE.
ON THE SAME DAY.
And aside from everyone simply feeling the need to update Facebook and Twitter and whatever about the fact (since no one in the world possibly even knew that, especially not elevenophiles...) I just been a little worried about the idea that for one day-- one singular day in a whole entire century!-- that 11 was everyone's favorite number, and everyone was wishing (TWICE!!!!!!!) on 11 and somehow all of those wishes would negate themselves.
Or worse, my little wishes (because duh, I wished twice, are you kidding?) would somehow get lost in the vast universe of lucky number wishes.
WHAT IF THE UNIVERSE DIDN'T HEAR MY WISHES THROUGH ALL OF THE DUEL SHALLOW WISHING?!!!
I mean, I get that I should be celebrating Eleven Awareness or something, and I don't mean to say that all the other wishes are shallow, I'm sorry for saying that, but I could really use the power of the Universe behind me right now is all I'm saying, okay?
I guess I can wish at 12:12 on 12/12/12 next year, and then I'll HOLLA at my Chwelve friends from the good ol' days at Timpview High, and pass my worries to the Twelveophiles who will tooooootally get it next year.
Also, does my admitting that my favorite number is 11 negate it in some superstitious way, like telling people what your birthday cake wishes are or whatever?
OH GREAT.
08 November 2011
tables turning
There are certain sayings in life that we hear a lot.
Today I am grateful for the four job interviews I have lined up this week. I've been waiting for weeks and even months to land interviews with basically no luck. Now I'm just kind of dumbfounded.
Unemployment is pretty awesome while I've got severance but I'm so so grateful for some hope of impending security.
I am blessed.
Calm before the storm.
When it rains, it pours.
When it rains, it pours.
Today I am grateful for the four job interviews I have lined up this week. I've been waiting for weeks and even months to land interviews with basically no luck. Now I'm just kind of dumbfounded.
Unemployment is pretty awesome while I've got severance but I'm so so grateful for some hope of impending security.
I am blessed.
31 October 2011
howjoo do
It's Halloween today.
I say this, not because I have anything particularly Halloween-y to contribute, but mostly because I've now lived through 13 days of unemployment. The days kind of blur together a little-- they go by so quickly and at the end of the day I kind of step back and ask myself, "It's 11:45pm already? I've watched how many episodes of Mad Men? I've eaten how many oreos?" And at the same time, it's only been 13 days. Very interesting.
So yes. Today is Halloween-- October 31. I feel like it's been Halloween for weeks and weeks. We don't have major plans tonight aside from our yearly Ghost Hunters Live Episode party with Thai food, and we're going to see our friends perform Macbeth at midnight. I'm kind of done with Halloween lasting all month. I'm a fan of autumn, and I like pumpkins and fall, but Halloween is a holiday to me, not a season. I was raised trick-or-treating on a single night, not five times a week at 1000 Halloween parties. Costumes are exhausting to me this year.
And I get it-- the exhaustion probably stems from the amount of effort it takes to dress up and go to parties and all that, and I'm just so spent putting forth effort in my "real life" that effort for Halloween just isn't there.
Except to eat a pile of individually wrapped Twizzlers last night. But that's easy.
It's interesting how my perceptions have changed since being unemployed. I have so much time to spend with myself, and time really does kind of just pass by if I'm not careful. I've started making To Do lists that include items like:
1. Make the bed.
2. Put away the dishes.
3. Take a shower.
4. Do not eat oreos.
It's all to easy to waste away the day, which makes me feel pretty badly about myself. Writing these lists and then being able to cross off the items---
WAIT A SECOND. I must interrupt myself because the funniest little red cat just climbed on top of me to snuggle for a moment, of her own accord! She is so cute! LOOK AT LUCILLE 2!!
Pardon me.As I was saying, writing lists for myself and then being able to cross off the items on the list makes me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. Last week I had lunch with my family at the BYU MOA Cafe, so I got there an hour early and spent an hour looking at art. I LOOKED AT ART. I felt refreshed and happy and inspired like I did in all those museums in Europe.
And today, while I have been watching Ghost Hunters repeats all day on SyFy, I also ate a whole back of Honey BBQ Flavor Twisted Fritos AND I went outside. More importantly, I've been indexing census records and easing myself back into a genealogical mindset. Tomorrow I plan to begin reading The Official Guide to Ancestry.com, and maybe I'll work on the gallery wall in my living room, and also start decorating for Christmastime (because Christmas is a season, like the phrase "the Christmas season," and I'm not going to get a Christmas tree yet, but I need it to be Christmas, okay?).
I'm going to have sparkly silver and aqua-colored trees this year. Is that weird? I don't care if it's weird.
So I mean, I'm making strides in my unemployment! I'm fulfilling myself with art and history and ghosts in the midst of job application rejections and a lack of motivation to exercise! It could be way worse, right?
Yes. Because I have a really nice and cute husband, and a snug little house, and two snuggle cats, and a smart brain.
So how' is your life during my unemployment?
21 October 2011
the unemployment project
Well this has been an interesting week.
Is that an understatement? It might be an understatement. Or an overstatement, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.
It might be an understatement because I've spent the week doing a lot of things like spending all day Wednesday getting ready for the Hale Centre Theatre annual Thank You party (you say "masquerade," I say "how high?"), sleeping till 11am or so, contemplating taking a shower but then ultimately deciding to stay on the couch crocheting and watching Lie to Me on Netflix, and cooing over my kitty cats.
So I guess it hasn't been terribly interesting in and of itself, though the reasons it hasn't been interesting have been kind of interesting. So I guess what I'm saying is:
This has been an uninteresting but very interesting week.
I was laid off on Monday afternoon.
There-- I said it.
And while I'm on the subject of "interesting," being laid off is seriously the most interesting. It's such a strange combination of relief (at least for me, in this case, for a range of reasons) and confusion and rather terrible, wracking inadequacy, all with a nice little cherry on top called "free time." Of course, the free time is also a ticking time bomb considering I've only got a few weeks before I'll be fretting without an income, but I mean that's beside the point.
In general, I basically see this as a blessing. Again, I may be reconsidering that blessing when we are pinching pennies for a car payment in December, but in generalllllllllllllllllllllll I'm trying to really see this as a Divine Intervention and an example of God taking control of a situation I was too afraid to take full responsibility for. He knows my heart, He knows my desires, and He knew I was certainly feeling unfulfilled in my former position. Granted, it may have been nice to have some security before moving on, but at ultimately if I ever had a chance to really take the time to consider what it is I really want to do with my life, this is it.
I'm really seeking a career. I really want to do something I'm good at, that I'm passionate about, and that will make me happy to get to work every day. What is that? I have no idea. If anyone has any ideas, that would be great :)
But in the meantime, I've decided to take this opportunity to really get to know myself and become the best version of myself. I have so many wonderful examples of self-actualization in my life who inspire me and make me want to be as wonderful and inspiring and self-actualizing as them.
I get that I've had ambitions of self-actualization for years now, but now is my time! And if I want to do anything besides watch Neflix (which seriously wouldn't be a problem-- I have a lot of doily projects I want to do and I need something to watch while I do them but maybe it's not the greatest use of my time), I need to make a plan. Which is why I've outlined....
Is that an understatement? It might be an understatement. Or an overstatement, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.
It might be an understatement because I've spent the week doing a lot of things like spending all day Wednesday getting ready for the Hale Centre Theatre annual Thank You party (you say "masquerade," I say "how high?"), sleeping till 11am or so, contemplating taking a shower but then ultimately deciding to stay on the couch crocheting and watching Lie to Me on Netflix, and cooing over my kitty cats.
So I guess it hasn't been terribly interesting in and of itself, though the reasons it hasn't been interesting have been kind of interesting. So I guess what I'm saying is:
This has been an uninteresting but very interesting week.
I was laid off on Monday afternoon.
There-- I said it.
And while I'm on the subject of "interesting," being laid off is seriously the most interesting. It's such a strange combination of relief (at least for me, in this case, for a range of reasons) and confusion and rather terrible, wracking inadequacy, all with a nice little cherry on top called "free time." Of course, the free time is also a ticking time bomb considering I've only got a few weeks before I'll be fretting without an income, but I mean that's beside the point.
In general, I basically see this as a blessing. Again, I may be reconsidering that blessing when we are pinching pennies for a car payment in December, but in generalllllllllllllllllllllll I'm trying to really see this as a Divine Intervention and an example of God taking control of a situation I was too afraid to take full responsibility for. He knows my heart, He knows my desires, and He knew I was certainly feeling unfulfilled in my former position. Granted, it may have been nice to have some security before moving on, but at ultimately if I ever had a chance to really take the time to consider what it is I really want to do with my life, this is it.
I'm really seeking a career. I really want to do something I'm good at, that I'm passionate about, and that will make me happy to get to work every day. What is that? I have no idea. If anyone has any ideas, that would be great :)
But in the meantime, I've decided to take this opportunity to really get to know myself and become the best version of myself. I have so many wonderful examples of self-actualization in my life who inspire me and make me want to be as wonderful and inspiring and self-actualizing as them.
I get that I've had ambitions of self-actualization for years now, but now is my time! And if I want to do anything besides watch Neflix (which seriously wouldn't be a problem-- I have a lot of doily projects I want to do and I need something to watch while I do them but maybe it's not the greatest use of my time), I need to make a plan. Which is why I've outlined....
~*~*~*The Unemployment Project*~*~*~
1. Exercise 5x weekly-- 30 mins minimum per day.
2. 15 mins light free weights per hour of TV daily (eh? eh?)
3. Track food intake via sparkpeople.com
4. Make the bed every day
5. Do the dishes every day
6. Do not go to bed with a messy coffee table
7. Finish a book by November 1
8. Empty boxes in the back room (aka The Hoarder Room)
9. Read scriptures and write in gratitude journal each day (for maximum Tude Adjustment)
10. Complete one project by November 15
11. Find a job to make an income AND make me happy.
2. 15 mins light free weights per hour of TV daily (eh? eh?)
3. Track food intake via sparkpeople.com
4. Make the bed every day
5. Do the dishes every day
6. Do not go to bed with a messy coffee table
7. Finish a book by November 1
8. Empty boxes in the back room (aka The Hoarder Room)
9. Read scriptures and write in gratitude journal each day (for maximum Tude Adjustment)
10. Complete one project by November 15
11. Find a job to make an income AND make me happy.
Cheers, former company. I'd tell you to "eat it," but that would be undiplomatic and quite against the spirit of The Unemployment Project so-- cheers.
Health and happiness SHALL BE MINE!
...and while we're on the subject, know of anyone seeking to hire a fun, hard-working, well-rounded twentysomething who is willing to tackle new challenges with real go-get-em and pluck?
Health and happiness SHALL BE MINE!
...and while we're on the subject, know of anyone seeking to hire a fun, hard-working, well-rounded twentysomething who is willing to tackle new challenges with real go-get-em and pluck?
12 October 2011
~*~*happy wednesday*~~*~
Today is a much better Wednesday than I had last Wednesday, and it's also a much better Wednesday than this past Sunday, which means today is maybe the best day I've had in a while. There's no specific reason. I'm at work, I'm not fulfilling any life goals, I'm not feeling particularly passionate, but it's a good day and I feel like that's pretty great.
What's happy about your Wednesday?
~*~*~*happy wednesday*~*~*~
1. lovely responses i've had to this post
I'm so appreciative of the many comments and responses I had to my most recent blog entry. Not only has it seemed to have cultivated a sense of community in my social circle, it's also opened a number of wonderful dialogues. I am truly amazed by people. I hope to keep at it.2. ghost hunters, antm, and toddler's & tiaras tonight
I'm banking on the fact that this will also include some form of delicious dinner and mint oreos.3. doilies
They are so pretty, and fun to make, and I'm making a billion so I can hang them on my wall. Then I will take a picture of them on my wall and then everyone on pinterest will be obsessed with it and my creativity will take over the world. I get that crocheting doilies may make a grandma before my time, but after taking over pinterest, this honky grandma be trippin.4. parks & recreation
BUT REALLY, YOU GUYS.5. pond's classic cold cream
I'm not kidding-- I'm a honky grandma. I crochet doilies and wash my face with cold cream. And it is the most lovely, moisturizing, smells-like-roses delight of my life.What's happy about your Wednesday?
10 October 2011
why i believe
So okay. Last night I stayed up much later than I expected/intended, and I wrote this rather angsty blog while watching the last few episodes of Steve Carell on The Office and how it was giving me legitimate anxiety to watch it-- not because Michael Scott gives me anxiety but because no Michael Scott and a change in the balance of the fictional world of Dunder Mifflin gives me anxiety and also maybe I'm prone to anxiety lately, which is turning out to be a real son of a gun to overcome. This blog post was about facing fears and kind of a cosmic look into What is my Purpose in life? and it's probably a good thing for all of you, dear readers, that I got so annoyed/nervous about my own angst and nerves that I saved but didn't post it.
What kind of place am I in my life where fretting about Michael Scott (or lack there of) is how I project my own Real Life anxiety into an mild-but-hours-long anxiety episode?
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY ANXIETY. My point here is that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, largely about The Point of All This Living. Luckily, I'm blessed enough to know that my life does have purpose. I have a firm belief that the world is not filled with coincidence, we do not live only to die, and that this life is just one step toward achieving a Higher Purpose. How bleak life must be to those who do not believe in an Afterlife or a loving God or Being or Presence that is aware and mindful of little tiny me?
I mean, if that's your belief, more power to you. But for me personally, to think that I am just a bunch of particles living on a big great slab of earth matter and will return to that earth matter without any Purpose-- what's the point? Why try? Why learn? Why contribute or grow or change the world? It is bleak. It is scary and lonesome. It is cynical.
And I guess that's why I'm so nervous all the time lately-- because I'm at a very real crossroads in my life and I'm not sure what direction to go. I know the ultimate end-- to return to a loving Heavenly Father who will welcome me back into His presence-- but how do I get there? What's next? I know the minutia of religious observance-- read the scriptures, pray, be a good person, help other people-- but on a grander scale, what do I do next? I'm not sure. But it's okay. Maybe last night it didn't feel okay, and yesterday morning, and a handful of other times over the last few months it didn't feel okay, but this morning-- right now-- it's okay. And I'm okay.
I know that we are watched and cared for by a God who has provided a way for us to return to Him. I know that there is more to our existence than this life and we are meant to be exalted. I am so glad that this business of families and children and generations isn't meaningless and that we all get to hang out together in heaven forever and ever and ever, and so unspeakably grateful for the living Christ who was resurrected to make our salvation a reality. All this makes this moment in time worth it-- it gives meaning to my uncertainty and discomfort. Even if I don't know what to do with myself now, I know what to do with myself on a higher level, and it makes the struggle worth it.
I know not everyone believes what I do. I'm not stupid enough to be ignorant of that, and I'm not stupid enough to tell other people they're wrong. If you don't believe in God, fine. If you don't believe in an Afterlife, that's also fine. If you don't believe in eternity or divine worth or the institution of marriage or whatever, by all means, that is up to you. But this is what helps me get through the day. It helps me push through this time when I feel like I don't have much purpose in my life except to simply be a daughter of a God who wants me to be happy. It would make me miserable beyond words to think that my marriage is limited, and my capacity for reason and learning has no purpose, and that my talents and interests and abilities are for nothing. I believe it because I can't not believe it. I believe it for my ability to keep living. I believe it because I must.
And you know, when there's a sweet, warm cat snuggled at the end of your bed in the middle of a dark night, who sighs happily when you pet him and then licks your forehead as if to say, It's okay, how can it not be?
I am blessed. I am worthy. I am smart. I am doing my best. I am filled with light.
I am grateful.
Oh and I'm a Mormon. Not a member of a cult! CLICKY CLICKY!
What kind of place am I in my life where fretting about Michael Scott (or lack there of) is how I project my own Real Life anxiety into an mild-but-hours-long anxiety episode?
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY ANXIETY. My point here is that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, largely about The Point of All This Living. Luckily, I'm blessed enough to know that my life does have purpose. I have a firm belief that the world is not filled with coincidence, we do not live only to die, and that this life is just one step toward achieving a Higher Purpose. How bleak life must be to those who do not believe in an Afterlife or a loving God or Being or Presence that is aware and mindful of little tiny me?
I mean, if that's your belief, more power to you. But for me personally, to think that I am just a bunch of particles living on a big great slab of earth matter and will return to that earth matter without any Purpose-- what's the point? Why try? Why learn? Why contribute or grow or change the world? It is bleak. It is scary and lonesome. It is cynical.
And I guess that's why I'm so nervous all the time lately-- because I'm at a very real crossroads in my life and I'm not sure what direction to go. I know the ultimate end-- to return to a loving Heavenly Father who will welcome me back into His presence-- but how do I get there? What's next? I know the minutia of religious observance-- read the scriptures, pray, be a good person, help other people-- but on a grander scale, what do I do next? I'm not sure. But it's okay. Maybe last night it didn't feel okay, and yesterday morning, and a handful of other times over the last few months it didn't feel okay, but this morning-- right now-- it's okay. And I'm okay.
I know that we are watched and cared for by a God who has provided a way for us to return to Him. I know that there is more to our existence than this life and we are meant to be exalted. I am so glad that this business of families and children and generations isn't meaningless and that we all get to hang out together in heaven forever and ever and ever, and so unspeakably grateful for the living Christ who was resurrected to make our salvation a reality. All this makes this moment in time worth it-- it gives meaning to my uncertainty and discomfort. Even if I don't know what to do with myself now, I know what to do with myself on a higher level, and it makes the struggle worth it.
I know not everyone believes what I do. I'm not stupid enough to be ignorant of that, and I'm not stupid enough to tell other people they're wrong. If you don't believe in God, fine. If you don't believe in an Afterlife, that's also fine. If you don't believe in eternity or divine worth or the institution of marriage or whatever, by all means, that is up to you. But this is what helps me get through the day. It helps me push through this time when I feel like I don't have much purpose in my life except to simply be a daughter of a God who wants me to be happy. It would make me miserable beyond words to think that my marriage is limited, and my capacity for reason and learning has no purpose, and that my talents and interests and abilities are for nothing. I believe it because I can't not believe it. I believe it for my ability to keep living. I believe it because I must.
And you know, when there's a sweet, warm cat snuggled at the end of your bed in the middle of a dark night, who sighs happily when you pet him and then licks your forehead as if to say, It's okay, how can it not be?
I am blessed. I am worthy. I am smart. I am doing my best. I am filled with light.
I am grateful.
Oh and I'm a Mormon. Not a member of a cult! CLICKY CLICKY!
28 September 2011
~*~*happy wednesday*~~*~
Last night, for the first time in so long I don't care to think about it, I sat down and had a very long, in-depth scripture study. It made me feel really good about myself, and in combination with the increasingly autumnal weather, and red lipstick, and a renewed interest in getting dressed in real clothes, I think it's the most Happy Wednesday I've seen in a while.
~*~*~* happy wednesday *~*~*~
1. nail polish in speedy hot tamale to match lipstick in flame.
I sure love coral-y, orange-y reds these days. I'm learning to embrace boldness and remember that I'm only as cool as I think I am. It's a mindset. If I want to be as cool as fashion bloggers and the all-star cast of America's Next Top Model, I need to just go on and rock it. Think, Professor, think!
2. wearing my cat-eye glasses.
Maybe it's that I've been watching Mad Men (finally), but really I think it's just that the heat of summer is passing and I don't want to tear them off my overheating-in-the-desert face anymore. And they were only like $25 at my favorite online glasses store.
3. my funny snuggle cats, trevor and lucille 2.
They are the cutest. They don't really get along because Lucille 2 is a terrible bully (which is actually kind of funny sometimes), but last night they both slept on the bed for almost the whole night! I never knew I could love a cat. Now I love two. If you come to our party, maybe you'll meet them.
4. we're having a party.
It celebrates cardigans and involves really yummy food, and we might play Werewolf. I keep plugging it, so obvs I'm excited. Be there.
5. i have really talented people in my life.
I'm kind of overwhelmed by it lately. Of course, on the one hand it makes me feel very small-- which is, I suppose, means I'm just feeling humbled. And that is good. But on the other hand, I'm just filled with pride to associate with such wonderful folks. I'm a lucky girl!
What's going on in your Happy Wednesday?
1. nail polish in speedy hot tamale to match lipstick in flame.
I sure love coral-y, orange-y reds these days. I'm learning to embrace boldness and remember that I'm only as cool as I think I am. It's a mindset. If I want to be as cool as fashion bloggers and the all-star cast of America's Next Top Model, I need to just go on and rock it. Think, Professor, think!
2. wearing my cat-eye glasses.
Maybe it's that I've been watching Mad Men (finally), but really I think it's just that the heat of summer is passing and I don't want to tear them off my overheating-in-the-desert face anymore. And they were only like $25 at my favorite online glasses store.
3. my funny snuggle cats, trevor and lucille 2.
They are the cutest. They don't really get along because Lucille 2 is a terrible bully (which is actually kind of funny sometimes), but last night they both slept on the bed for almost the whole night! I never knew I could love a cat. Now I love two. If you come to our party, maybe you'll meet them.
4. we're having a party.
It celebrates cardigans and involves really yummy food, and we might play Werewolf. I keep plugging it, so obvs I'm excited. Be there.
5. i have really talented people in my life.
I'm kind of overwhelmed by it lately. Of course, on the one hand it makes me feel very small-- which is, I suppose, means I'm just feeling humbled. And that is good. But on the other hand, I'm just filled with pride to associate with such wonderful folks. I'm a lucky girl!
What's going on in your Happy Wednesday?
26 September 2011
busting the habit
I think the world's most exquisite sandwich must be chicken salad (with grapes) on croissant. Tell me I'm wrong! It's perfection!
It's... perfection.
How does the world's most exquisite sandwich fit into a juice fast? Well, okay, it doesn't really. But what it is, is indicative. The fact that a relatively healthful, handmade chicken salad sandwich is what I'm craving by way of solid food means that I've made some very great strides in overcoming some major food additions.
So okay, maybe I really still love bread, and I still love nachos, and I really love chips, but I can drive down the street without having to mentally talk myself out of stopping for the french fries and chicken snack wraps. In fact, they don't usually sound even that appetizing. Usually.
Boom.
Also, I've become brave enough to start tucking selected shirts into selected pairs of pants, which is an indication of improved self-image.
#nailingit
Don't forget, everyone-- we're having a party this weekend and it will be very fun, with great cardigans and food and friends and maybe a few rounds of Werewolf. BE THERE.
OH! AND! The blog is quickly approaching 43,000 hits. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN PEEPS!
It's... perfection.
How does the world's most exquisite sandwich fit into a juice fast? Well, okay, it doesn't really. But what it is, is indicative. The fact that a relatively healthful, handmade chicken salad sandwich is what I'm craving by way of solid food means that I've made some very great strides in overcoming some major food additions.
So okay, maybe I really still love bread, and I still love nachos, and I really love chips, but I can drive down the street without having to mentally talk myself out of stopping for the french fries and chicken snack wraps. In fact, they don't usually sound even that appetizing. Usually.
Boom.
Also, I've become brave enough to start tucking selected shirts into selected pairs of pants, which is an indication of improved self-image.
#nailingit
Don't forget, everyone-- we're having a party this weekend and it will be very fun, with great cardigans and food and friends and maybe a few rounds of Werewolf. BE THERE.
OH! AND! The blog is quickly approaching 43,000 hits. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN PEEPS!
22 September 2011
21 September 2011
love fall
Do you know what the greatest thing about the fall is?
I mean aside from the layered clothing and boots and leaves and crispy air and Falloween decorations in my house all leading up to Christmas and snow-- besides all that?
Television.
No better way to kick off my 25th year and this season of all the greatest shows than with the Emmy Awards this weekend, during which I have never been more inspired to be a television actress. Think of all the shows we have to look forward to!
America's Next Top Model!
30 Rock!
Grey's Anatomy!
PARKS AND RECREATION!!!
And so, so many more.
Last night I also had the pleasure of catching my dear friend Greg on Raising Hope, and New Girl was pretty funny (although I've got a blog brewing about my dissatisfaction with the growing number of plots based around totally awesome and super quirky girls who eat like crap and are magically skinny and so totally adorable with their super weird clothes and adorable anti-social behavior and clever pop culture references).
I did watch Glee even though I've decided I'm basically OVER IT. It's just not very interesting to me anymore aside from the kids from The Glee Project showing up this season. The Glee Project is interesting to me. And even though I hated her on The Glee Project, give it up for Lindsay and her killer mash-up of "Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do" (and the brilliant editing that smoothed over her fake tap dancing).
In other non-TV related news, I juiced a nectarine this morning. It didn't result in very much juice (even though it was the juiciest, ripest nectarine ever in existence), but it did provide a touch of tang to my apple/pear/carrot mix.
Even though I was off the juice for a few days, I just need to tell you how much better I feel about my health and my appearance when I've got a few glasses of juice in me each day. I don't feel overstuffed. Even when I eat solid food in addition to juice, I don't eat as much, and my stomach feels empty, even though I'm satisfied. I don't feel quite so thick in the middle, do you know what I mean?
Also, I've noticed I sleep better. I don't toss and turn quite so much, I fall asleep more quickly and with less anxiety. Isn't that weird? To have anxiety when trying to go to sleep? I guess I just mean I can more easily "shut off my brain" so I fall asleep real fast without thinking about a thousand things (which is what makes me anxious). So that's good. I want to keep sleeping well.
Cheers to television, fall, and more juicing.
Day 9 -- 160.2 lbs
I mean aside from the layered clothing and boots and leaves and crispy air and Falloween decorations in my house all leading up to Christmas and snow-- besides all that?
Television.
No better way to kick off my 25th year and this season of all the greatest shows than with the Emmy Awards this weekend, during which I have never been more inspired to be a television actress. Think of all the shows we have to look forward to!
America's Next Top Model!
30 Rock!
Grey's Anatomy!
PARKS AND RECREATION!!!
And so, so many more.
Last night I also had the pleasure of catching my dear friend Greg on Raising Hope, and New Girl was pretty funny (although I've got a blog brewing about my dissatisfaction with the growing number of plots based around totally awesome and super quirky girls who eat like crap and are magically skinny and so totally adorable with their super weird clothes and adorable anti-social behavior and clever pop culture references).
I did watch Glee even though I've decided I'm basically OVER IT. It's just not very interesting to me anymore aside from the kids from The Glee Project showing up this season. The Glee Project is interesting to me. And even though I hated her on The Glee Project, give it up for Lindsay and her killer mash-up of "Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do" (and the brilliant editing that smoothed over her fake tap dancing).
In other non-TV related news, I juiced a nectarine this morning. It didn't result in very much juice (even though it was the juiciest, ripest nectarine ever in existence), but it did provide a touch of tang to my apple/pear/carrot mix.
Even though I was off the juice for a few days, I just need to tell you how much better I feel about my health and my appearance when I've got a few glasses of juice in me each day. I don't feel overstuffed. Even when I eat solid food in addition to juice, I don't eat as much, and my stomach feels empty, even though I'm satisfied. I don't feel quite so thick in the middle, do you know what I mean?
Also, I've noticed I sleep better. I don't toss and turn quite so much, I fall asleep more quickly and with less anxiety. Isn't that weird? To have anxiety when trying to go to sleep? I guess I just mean I can more easily "shut off my brain" so I fall asleep real fast without thinking about a thousand things (which is what makes me anxious). So that's good. I want to keep sleeping well.
Cheers to television, fall, and more juicing.
Day 9 -- 160.2 lbs
20 September 2011
back on track
I'm back from hiatus, everybody.
Obvs I've been gone for a while-- I had to go to Vegas for a work trip and then yesterday was my birthday (OMG I FEEL SO OLD). Needless to say, this means I've been off the juice for almost a week. And I've managed to gain back 4.5 lbs of what I lost. But it's ok! Because I didn't gain it all back, and a lot of this is birthday-food weight (since it's okay to eat Thai food and Chili's and tutti-frutti jelly bellies all in the same day on your birthday) and I'm excited to get back to feeling healthy.
I guess that's been the most interesting part of going off the fast for my trip. I started to ween off last Wednesday night-- I had my first full meal (1 spicy tuna roll and 1 small bowl of miso soup) and felt pretty ok. I didn't feel overfull, and my body wasn't too terribly mad about digesting. Thursday I did my best to take is slow throughout the day, but Thursday night we went to a buffet at the Las Vegas Convention Center Hilton. Though I really didn't overdo it, my body was angry the next morning.
Which is obviously why I followed up with the nachos platter at Cabo Wabo that evening. Duh.
It was so much food. Again, I didn't even finish all of it (that would have been disgusting of me had I finished it all by myself) but my stomach felt all full and stretched out in a way that I've become really unused to. I didn't like it.
Saturday and Sunday I did much better by way of portions and I avoided feeling overstuffed, but I didn't do too well in the quality of food I was eating. And then yesterday, like I said, I had Thai food and Chilis and jelly bellies and also Pringles. I just love Pringles. But at least they were the reduced fat kind (which obviously meant I could eat almost the whole can almost by myself in three days, amiright?).
This morning I began with a juice of two oranges and a pear. It was delicious to my taste and I'm sooooo looking forward to getting rid of the junk I've managed to put back in my system so easily.
Day 8 (or whatever) -- 162.5 lbs
Obvs I've been gone for a while-- I had to go to Vegas for a work trip and then yesterday was my birthday (OMG I FEEL SO OLD). Needless to say, this means I've been off the juice for almost a week. And I've managed to gain back 4.5 lbs of what I lost. But it's ok! Because I didn't gain it all back, and a lot of this is birthday-food weight (since it's okay to eat Thai food and Chili's and tutti-frutti jelly bellies all in the same day on your birthday) and I'm excited to get back to feeling healthy.
I guess that's been the most interesting part of going off the fast for my trip. I started to ween off last Wednesday night-- I had my first full meal (1 spicy tuna roll and 1 small bowl of miso soup) and felt pretty ok. I didn't feel overfull, and my body wasn't too terribly mad about digesting. Thursday I did my best to take is slow throughout the day, but Thursday night we went to a buffet at the Las Vegas Convention Center Hilton. Though I really didn't overdo it, my body was angry the next morning.
Which is obviously why I followed up with the nachos platter at Cabo Wabo that evening. Duh.
It was so much food. Again, I didn't even finish all of it (that would have been disgusting of me had I finished it all by myself) but my stomach felt all full and stretched out in a way that I've become really unused to. I didn't like it.
Saturday and Sunday I did much better by way of portions and I avoided feeling overstuffed, but I didn't do too well in the quality of food I was eating. And then yesterday, like I said, I had Thai food and Chilis and jelly bellies and also Pringles. I just love Pringles. But at least they were the reduced fat kind (which obviously meant I could eat almost the whole can almost by myself in three days, amiright?).
This morning I began with a juice of two oranges and a pear. It was delicious to my taste and I'm sooooo looking forward to getting rid of the junk I've managed to put back in my system so easily.
Day 8 (or whatever) -- 162.5 lbs
13 September 2011
faqs
I must begin today by admitting a bit of a defeat. Well, I guess I can't call it a defeat because it just is what it is and I'm taking my health very seriously. The whole point of Juice Fast 2011 is to take my health seriously, which I haven't done in a very long time. The bottom line is that I have a thyroid disease. This isn't new-- I've been treating it for 5.5 years and I've mentioned it here a few times. It's kind of a big deal, but given access to good doctors and observant friends and family, it's not very terrible to handle.
However, though my symptoms have been in remission for almost a year, I've had some cause lately to go back on a very low dose of medication to help curb some symptoms. This fact is the reason why I cannot attempt to proceed with Juice Fast 2011 in what should be its most basic, natural form.
This is not to say that I'm giving up completely. I've done a lot of research and I still feel strongly that some small adaptations to this method will continue to benefit my health and assist me in healing my body. I still hope this may help to put me even further into remission. Juice fasting is aiding me in being more aware of how much dairy I eat (or don't), for example, and dairy can mess with my hormone levels, etc etc etc. I figure this is good knowledge, even if I have to "cheat" sometimes in order to actually embrace a full level of health for my body in its current state.
So there's that.
Now that I'm a week into The Experiment, I've been inundated with questions (and opinions and advice and all kinds of comments, both positive and negative). I've received many expressions of encouragement and a few expressions of concern regarding my protein intake. I figure I may as well collectively address some of the things I have learned.
Please note: my research has gone beyond simply watching the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. While it was certainly inspiring to me, and definitely an informative and motivating tool in this experiment, I wouldn't dream of pursuing a lifestyle that could potentially screw with my health without having more facts at hand.
1. Is this healthy?
Yes. It's basically a vegan/sugar-/grain-free lifestyle. While I haven't been yet, ever-popular nuts (in the form of nut milk) can be introduced to provide additional nutrients and forms of energy. The goal is to empty the body of foreign, non-digestible matter found in most of our food these days-- especially in my (former?) diet of processed, enriched fast food. By embracing clean, raw foods in a liquidized state, the digestive tract is able to recoup and physically rest, allowing all that toxic sludge to exit the body. It helps to break destructive food addictions. Oh, and it's a completely healthy way to lose weight.
2. Yeah, but is it HEALTHY?
Yes. Picture yourself eating an apple. Yummy, right? Kind of sticky, if it's juicy. That apple, while delicious, takes a lot of energy to bite and chew. Further, it takes a lot of energy to then digest. Being solid, it takes even more energy for the body to absorb the nutrients and make them useful. There are also parts of that apple that are relatively inedible (the core) but which hold additional nutrients. Also at least some of that sticky juice ended up down your chin and all over your hands and maybe dripped onto your shirt. This results in only about 70% of the potential useful energy in that apple able to be absorbed into the body.
Conversely, when you pull out the stem of that apple and juice it right up whole, avoid energy wasted by chewing and digesting, providing all the nutrients in a liquid (and therefore absorptive) form, all parts of the apple now made edible, the body is able to immediately intake up to 99% of the available nutrients.
So yeah. It's pretty healthy.
3. But losing more than 2lbs per week isn't healthy.
Sure it is, if your body has more than 2lbs per week to lose. Not every one will lose 20+ lbs in a week like the gentlemen in the documentary, or even 6.6 lbs like I have (having not stuck to the method 100%). The first time I signed up with Weight Watchers I lost about 6lbs in a week, and many people continue to lose at a rate higher than 2lbs per week. The difference is, solid food weighs more. Liquids move through you more quickly, and by allowing all the nutrients to be absorbed in your system, most of the liquids moving through are just water.
By not eating solid foods, the body is able to tap into those fat stores that are so popularly talked about-- the very same ones HCG and other diets attempt to dig into. Humans (especially overweight humans) have stores of energy that inable them to potentially survive for weeks, even months, without solid food. (NOTE: But you can't survive without water!!) It's instinctual and primitive. And healthy.
4. But you're not eating, so it's not healthy!
Stop telling me that. I am eating, and it's healthy. In each juice I'm having the equivalent of 3-6 portions of fruit and vegetables. 3-6 portions x 3 daily servings = 9-18 portions of fruit and vegetables. These are full meals. I'm currently drinking 1.5 cups of spinach, 3 large carrots, 1 pear, and 1.5 cups of grapes. That's a lot of food! Try eating it physically and tell me you aren't full.
Certainly there's a difference between feeling full the way you do when you eat solid food versus feeling full of juice. It is definitely a relearning process. But seriously, it's more a mental thing than it is physical. There's a certain level of fear wrapped in social stigma smothered in personal food habits. People have been fasting for thousands of years for religious, cultural and health purposes. It's healthy. It allows the body to naturally heal. I'm moving forward with my life, guys, not stepping back or promoting eating disorders.
5. Is it filling?
Yeeeees...? Yes. It is. It's just different. The first few days (as I mentioned) I felt like I was going completely crazy. Turns out, a little touch of the crazies is a normal part of the process as we try to understand toxins leaving the body and giving up a comfortable, ingrained dependence on food and chewing. I'm trying to be very in tune with my body to understand the difference between physical hunger and bored hunger. I'm bored-hungry a lot-- I've always known that. This is a really, really good exercise in breaking my bored-hungry habits. I'm glad about that.
6. What about those proteins?
What about them? Frankly I wasn't terribly concerned about getting proper amounts of proteins before this diet, why should I now?
Sarcasm aside, I'm serious. The pursuit of protein is kind of a fad-filled journey. Sure, you need protein, but there's protein in fruit and vegetables, so I'm getting protein. Also protein, by its nature, is a building block-- builds up cells, builds up muscles, builds up the body. Body builders and weight lifters need protein to built up muscles. I am not either of those things nor do I want to focus on building muscles this month. In a single month, the body I have built will not deteriorate into a puddle.
A good example is comparing protein to the wood that builds a house. Once the house is built, do you need to continue piling on wood in order to clean the house? No. That would potentially mess with the foundation of the house and/or the inside of your house would look like a hoarder, making it very difficult to clean. I'm cleaning my body right now, not building. I'll return to pretending like I care about proteins after I've sufficiently cleaned out my system.
7. What kinds of things do/can you juice?
All kinds of things. Basically any water-based fruit or vegetable can go right into the juicer whole (this means no banana, avocado, etc). No need to peel most things except orange peels (but the white rind is good-- even watermelons can go in with the peel) or like cantaloupe. Cantaloupe and honeydew are kind of hard because they have to be just perfectly ripe or else they're kind of worthless, but the cantaloupe I juiced yesterday was TASTY. Berries don't juice terribly well (especially strawberries) because it's hard to separate the pulp from the juice which means you don't get a lot out of juicing them, but I like do dump in a cup of blueberries or blackberries because of the antioxidants. Best to add berries to other, more plentiful juices rather than trying to make a blueberry juice base, for example. Oh and peel a pineapple. Duh.
As I've mentioned, I'm working up to working with more greens, which are real real good for you. Spinach is very sweet, as are carrots, so that helps to avoid squinching my nose over bitter tastes. Cucumbers, celery, kale, tomatoes, sweet potatoes-- all good. Will keep you updated with more recipes as I have them. There are great recipes and resources all over the interweb and libraries. Easy.
Oh. No pits in the juicer. 1) They're bad for the juicer. 2) They can be poisonous, which is bad for your body.
Again: use ginger at your own discretion/risk. Also, a little lemon goes a long way.
8. How long are you "supposed" to do this?
It depends what your goals are. People can go for months and months and months in this form of fasting. This isn't without a bit of practice however, to say the least. This is another reason why I'm embracing the idea of a modified fast. It's hard. It's hard mentally, and it's hard physically. It requires discipline and dedication.
Fasts can last one day, three days, ten days, or more. What I plan to do from now on is a combination of one- to three-day fasts. Anyone who's been on Weight Watchers or other "diets" knows that varying your meals and exercise plans is what really seems to work best-- never letting your body get "used" to a real pattern. Obviously a longer fast is going to have more immediate, long-term results, but for someone like me (for example), doing a series of 1-3 day fasts with some (hopefully) healthful breaks between for 30 days seems as if it will yield more realistic, if slower, results.
9. Who should juice fast?
Anyone, but with careful consideration of contributing factors such as stress, work, medical conditions, etc. It's like other diet plans but with less emphasis on exercise. You should exercise to help release those toxins, but don't plan on training for a marathon. The idea is to NOT starve. Bodies should not shut down, you should not have a fainting spell, and you shouldn't abuse the idea of "not eating." It's an emotional and spiritual cleanse too (seriously, it is-- had a random come-apart when I broke my tablespoon the other day. It was surprising, but explainable). DO YOUR RESEARCH before diving in.
10. Doesn't "fast" mean you aren't eating?
Correct. A juice fast perhaps isn't the purest form of fasting (that would be a water fast, where you don't have anything but water, which is scary and waaaaaay too dedicated than I could ever be, I think), but it is "pure" in the sense that the goal is to not eat solid foods. So go on-- think you're fancy pants for catching me in a lie, but it's not really. Also, I invite you to try this before you tell me I'm cheating by drinking juice.
There are a ton of great resources available about juice fasting. I recommend specifically is the book Juice Fasting & Detoxification by Steve Meyerowitz. It's been interesting to hear peoples' responses and questions to this journey of mine, and I appreciate the motivation to keep going. What else do you want to know?
Day 7 -- 158.4 lbs
However, though my symptoms have been in remission for almost a year, I've had some cause lately to go back on a very low dose of medication to help curb some symptoms. This fact is the reason why I cannot attempt to proceed with Juice Fast 2011 in what should be its most basic, natural form.
This is not to say that I'm giving up completely. I've done a lot of research and I still feel strongly that some small adaptations to this method will continue to benefit my health and assist me in healing my body. I still hope this may help to put me even further into remission. Juice fasting is aiding me in being more aware of how much dairy I eat (or don't), for example, and dairy can mess with my hormone levels, etc etc etc. I figure this is good knowledge, even if I have to "cheat" sometimes in order to actually embrace a full level of health for my body in its current state.
So there's that.
Now that I'm a week into The Experiment, I've been inundated with questions (and opinions and advice and all kinds of comments, both positive and negative). I've received many expressions of encouragement and a few expressions of concern regarding my protein intake. I figure I may as well collectively address some of the things I have learned.
Please note: my research has gone beyond simply watching the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. While it was certainly inspiring to me, and definitely an informative and motivating tool in this experiment, I wouldn't dream of pursuing a lifestyle that could potentially screw with my health without having more facts at hand.
1. Is this healthy?
Yes. It's basically a vegan/sugar-/grain-free lifestyle. While I haven't been yet, ever-popular nuts (in the form of nut milk) can be introduced to provide additional nutrients and forms of energy. The goal is to empty the body of foreign, non-digestible matter found in most of our food these days-- especially in my (former?) diet of processed, enriched fast food. By embracing clean, raw foods in a liquidized state, the digestive tract is able to recoup and physically rest, allowing all that toxic sludge to exit the body. It helps to break destructive food addictions. Oh, and it's a completely healthy way to lose weight.
2. Yeah, but is it HEALTHY?
Yes. Picture yourself eating an apple. Yummy, right? Kind of sticky, if it's juicy. That apple, while delicious, takes a lot of energy to bite and chew. Further, it takes a lot of energy to then digest. Being solid, it takes even more energy for the body to absorb the nutrients and make them useful. There are also parts of that apple that are relatively inedible (the core) but which hold additional nutrients. Also at least some of that sticky juice ended up down your chin and all over your hands and maybe dripped onto your shirt. This results in only about 70% of the potential useful energy in that apple able to be absorbed into the body.
Conversely, when you pull out the stem of that apple and juice it right up whole, avoid energy wasted by chewing and digesting, providing all the nutrients in a liquid (and therefore absorptive) form, all parts of the apple now made edible, the body is able to immediately intake up to 99% of the available nutrients.
So yeah. It's pretty healthy.
3. But losing more than 2lbs per week isn't healthy.
Sure it is, if your body has more than 2lbs per week to lose. Not every one will lose 20+ lbs in a week like the gentlemen in the documentary, or even 6.6 lbs like I have (having not stuck to the method 100%). The first time I signed up with Weight Watchers I lost about 6lbs in a week, and many people continue to lose at a rate higher than 2lbs per week. The difference is, solid food weighs more. Liquids move through you more quickly, and by allowing all the nutrients to be absorbed in your system, most of the liquids moving through are just water.
By not eating solid foods, the body is able to tap into those fat stores that are so popularly talked about-- the very same ones HCG and other diets attempt to dig into. Humans (especially overweight humans) have stores of energy that inable them to potentially survive for weeks, even months, without solid food. (NOTE: But you can't survive without water!!) It's instinctual and primitive. And healthy.
4. But you're not eating, so it's not healthy!
Stop telling me that. I am eating, and it's healthy. In each juice I'm having the equivalent of 3-6 portions of fruit and vegetables. 3-6 portions x 3 daily servings = 9-18 portions of fruit and vegetables. These are full meals. I'm currently drinking 1.5 cups of spinach, 3 large carrots, 1 pear, and 1.5 cups of grapes. That's a lot of food! Try eating it physically and tell me you aren't full.
Certainly there's a difference between feeling full the way you do when you eat solid food versus feeling full of juice. It is definitely a relearning process. But seriously, it's more a mental thing than it is physical. There's a certain level of fear wrapped in social stigma smothered in personal food habits. People have been fasting for thousands of years for religious, cultural and health purposes. It's healthy. It allows the body to naturally heal. I'm moving forward with my life, guys, not stepping back or promoting eating disorders.
5. Is it filling?
Yeeeees...? Yes. It is. It's just different. The first few days (as I mentioned) I felt like I was going completely crazy. Turns out, a little touch of the crazies is a normal part of the process as we try to understand toxins leaving the body and giving up a comfortable, ingrained dependence on food and chewing. I'm trying to be very in tune with my body to understand the difference between physical hunger and bored hunger. I'm bored-hungry a lot-- I've always known that. This is a really, really good exercise in breaking my bored-hungry habits. I'm glad about that.
6. What about those proteins?
What about them? Frankly I wasn't terribly concerned about getting proper amounts of proteins before this diet, why should I now?
Sarcasm aside, I'm serious. The pursuit of protein is kind of a fad-filled journey. Sure, you need protein, but there's protein in fruit and vegetables, so I'm getting protein. Also protein, by its nature, is a building block-- builds up cells, builds up muscles, builds up the body. Body builders and weight lifters need protein to built up muscles. I am not either of those things nor do I want to focus on building muscles this month. In a single month, the body I have built will not deteriorate into a puddle.
A good example is comparing protein to the wood that builds a house. Once the house is built, do you need to continue piling on wood in order to clean the house? No. That would potentially mess with the foundation of the house and/or the inside of your house would look like a hoarder, making it very difficult to clean. I'm cleaning my body right now, not building. I'll return to pretending like I care about proteins after I've sufficiently cleaned out my system.
7. What kinds of things do/can you juice?
All kinds of things. Basically any water-based fruit or vegetable can go right into the juicer whole (this means no banana, avocado, etc). No need to peel most things except orange peels (but the white rind is good-- even watermelons can go in with the peel) or like cantaloupe. Cantaloupe and honeydew are kind of hard because they have to be just perfectly ripe or else they're kind of worthless, but the cantaloupe I juiced yesterday was TASTY. Berries don't juice terribly well (especially strawberries) because it's hard to separate the pulp from the juice which means you don't get a lot out of juicing them, but I like do dump in a cup of blueberries or blackberries because of the antioxidants. Best to add berries to other, more plentiful juices rather than trying to make a blueberry juice base, for example. Oh and peel a pineapple. Duh.
As I've mentioned, I'm working up to working with more greens, which are real real good for you. Spinach is very sweet, as are carrots, so that helps to avoid squinching my nose over bitter tastes. Cucumbers, celery, kale, tomatoes, sweet potatoes-- all good. Will keep you updated with more recipes as I have them. There are great recipes and resources all over the interweb and libraries. Easy.
Oh. No pits in the juicer. 1) They're bad for the juicer. 2) They can be poisonous, which is bad for your body.
Again: use ginger at your own discretion/risk. Also, a little lemon goes a long way.
8. How long are you "supposed" to do this?
It depends what your goals are. People can go for months and months and months in this form of fasting. This isn't without a bit of practice however, to say the least. This is another reason why I'm embracing the idea of a modified fast. It's hard. It's hard mentally, and it's hard physically. It requires discipline and dedication.
Fasts can last one day, three days, ten days, or more. What I plan to do from now on is a combination of one- to three-day fasts. Anyone who's been on Weight Watchers or other "diets" knows that varying your meals and exercise plans is what really seems to work best-- never letting your body get "used" to a real pattern. Obviously a longer fast is going to have more immediate, long-term results, but for someone like me (for example), doing a series of 1-3 day fasts with some (hopefully) healthful breaks between for 30 days seems as if it will yield more realistic, if slower, results.
9. Who should juice fast?
Anyone, but with careful consideration of contributing factors such as stress, work, medical conditions, etc. It's like other diet plans but with less emphasis on exercise. You should exercise to help release those toxins, but don't plan on training for a marathon. The idea is to NOT starve. Bodies should not shut down, you should not have a fainting spell, and you shouldn't abuse the idea of "not eating." It's an emotional and spiritual cleanse too (seriously, it is-- had a random come-apart when I broke my tablespoon the other day. It was surprising, but explainable). DO YOUR RESEARCH before diving in.
10. Doesn't "fast" mean you aren't eating?
Correct. A juice fast perhaps isn't the purest form of fasting (that would be a water fast, where you don't have anything but water, which is scary and waaaaaay too dedicated than I could ever be, I think), but it is "pure" in the sense that the goal is to not eat solid foods. So go on-- think you're fancy pants for catching me in a lie, but it's not really. Also, I invite you to try this before you tell me I'm cheating by drinking juice.
There are a ton of great resources available about juice fasting. I recommend specifically is the book Juice Fasting & Detoxification by Steve Meyerowitz. It's been interesting to hear peoples' responses and questions to this journey of mine, and I appreciate the motivation to keep going. What else do you want to know?
Day 7 -- 158.4 lbs
12 September 2011
head in the game
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I cheated this weekend. What? Is that what you wanted to hear? Is it? Fine, well-- I admit it. I cheated. I ate solid food. And it wasn't very good for me. There. I said it. And I didn't want to blog about it, okay? Sue me.
There were even witnesses! Multiple! Plenty of witnesses! What can I do-- pretend like it didn't happen? Blame my (slight) weight gain on "nature?"
Nope. It happened. I ate 1.5 (small) pieces of pizza, a cup of raman cabbage salad, about six bites of seven-layer bean dip on tortilla chips, some carrots and melon (go me), a babybel cheese wedge, one pumpkin chocolate chip cookie, one tinsy bite of chocolate cake, one half a cup of macaroni and cheese, and a cup of Special-K Berries cereal.
The truth is that I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. The smell of pulp was going to make me barf (A) and frankly, I just needed to prove to myself exactly how beneficial juicing is (B). I'm happy to tell you that I've readjusted to the smell of pulp and I didn't want to die when I was cleaning the juicer this morning, and it's been immediately clear how good juicing is for me.
Example: some of my digestive problems are apparently dairy-related. One half cup of macaroni and cheese and one half cup of skim milk with my cereal was enough to turn me back into the Queen of Indigestion. So. Now we know.
The good news is that I didn't completely undo the progress I had made in three days. But it's also a real eye opener in terms of how much of these foods I can (or can't) put in my body before it begins to make a difference. Unfortunately I still crave the nachos and I am so so proud of myself for not eating a whole half of a pizza (there are three in the fridge-- long story), but feeling rather intestinally unclear this morning, shall we say, definitely makes me reevaluate in a big way. Like, I kind of finally get it now when I think of my friends who I used to think eat like birds, taking just a tinsy bit of everything and somehow calling it "dinner." Well. That's much better for you, isn't it?
And I have to say, there's something empowering about fasting after the first few days are over. Saturday morning I woke up feeling skinny, and didn't have any desire to ruin that skinny (till 6pm and I saw the pizza-- but that was a conscious choice I promise!!!!). I went an extra few hours before having a morning juice because it just felt good for my body to feel empty. Does that make any sense without making me sound like I have an eating disorder (because clearly I do not)?
This morning I'm having a cantaloupe/apple/pineapple tasty and I've actually got a lunch that I will actually drink instead of throwing out-- spinach/cantaloupe/apple/blueberry/grape. I'm back in the game, everybody.
Day 6-- 159.0 lbs
There were even witnesses! Multiple! Plenty of witnesses! What can I do-- pretend like it didn't happen? Blame my (slight) weight gain on "nature?"
Nope. It happened. I ate 1.5 (small) pieces of pizza, a cup of raman cabbage salad, about six bites of seven-layer bean dip on tortilla chips, some carrots and melon (go me), a babybel cheese wedge, one pumpkin chocolate chip cookie, one tinsy bite of chocolate cake, one half a cup of macaroni and cheese, and a cup of Special-K Berries cereal.
The truth is that I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. The smell of pulp was going to make me barf (A) and frankly, I just needed to prove to myself exactly how beneficial juicing is (B). I'm happy to tell you that I've readjusted to the smell of pulp and I didn't want to die when I was cleaning the juicer this morning, and it's been immediately clear how good juicing is for me.
Example: some of my digestive problems are apparently dairy-related. One half cup of macaroni and cheese and one half cup of skim milk with my cereal was enough to turn me back into the Queen of Indigestion. So. Now we know.
The good news is that I didn't completely undo the progress I had made in three days. But it's also a real eye opener in terms of how much of these foods I can (or can't) put in my body before it begins to make a difference. Unfortunately I still crave the nachos and I am so so proud of myself for not eating a whole half of a pizza (there are three in the fridge-- long story), but feeling rather intestinally unclear this morning, shall we say, definitely makes me reevaluate in a big way. Like, I kind of finally get it now when I think of my friends who I used to think eat like birds, taking just a tinsy bit of everything and somehow calling it "dinner." Well. That's much better for you, isn't it?
And I have to say, there's something empowering about fasting after the first few days are over. Saturday morning I woke up feeling skinny, and didn't have any desire to ruin that skinny (till 6pm and I saw the pizza-- but that was a conscious choice I promise!!!!). I went an extra few hours before having a morning juice because it just felt good for my body to feel empty. Does that make any sense without making me sound like I have an eating disorder (because clearly I do not)?
This morning I'm having a cantaloupe/apple/pineapple tasty and I've actually got a lunch that I will actually drink instead of throwing out-- spinach/cantaloupe/apple/blueberry/grape. I'm back in the game, everybody.
Day 6-- 159.0 lbs
10 September 2011
-6.4 lbs what the whaaaaaat
I'm at a bit of a loss what to say today. I'm not feeling crazy, I am feeling a tinsy bit weak-willed, and I am not very hungry. Headaches are basically gone and I'm starting to actually feel some weight loss happening. Pants are looser!!
And I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock again lately. My desire to star on a wacky sitcom grows daily.
I haven't had any juice today, but yesterday I had a tasty combination of 2 oranges and a pear. YUMMO = $1.26
Day 4 - 158.6 lb
And I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock again lately. My desire to star on a wacky sitcom grows daily.
I haven't had any juice today, but yesterday I had a tasty combination of 2 oranges and a pear. YUMMO = $1.26
Day 4 - 158.6 lb
09 September 2011
day 3 - back up off of that cray-cray
Okay so maybe I really was a crazy person yesterday afternoon. You've got to understand, I had this crazy headache on the very top of my head and I was having a little food-related come-apart. For my theater-going friends, you know "The Bride's Lament" in The Drowsy Chaperone where Janet is singing about the monkey and then has a nervous breakdown and everyone in the cast has monkey faces and they're all dancing around her? That's what my afternoon was like, only it was food dancing around me-- nachos and PB&J and an especially cruel spicy tuna roll.
I hopped on the fruit juice train last night though, and feel much better about life. Ames and I (finally) saw Crazy, Stupid, Love to distract ourselves, and then I actually kind of fell asleep before 10:30! I slept great last night, and while I didn't get up in time to "get ready" this morning, I see the potential is there and I'm excited. I hope to get dressed with purpose each day next week.
The somewhat swift turn around from leading the Cuckoo Parade to a real feeling of mellow calmness kind of startled me. It made me take a cold, hard look at the fact that I am simply addicted to food. In the midst of it, all I could think about was changing my goal, replanning the next 30 days to include breaks, literal worrying about how I could possibly be social without involving Applebees or whatever.
Whoa, self. This crazy is not an attractive color on you. Step away from the hysteria.
But really. All I could do was weigh what food items I wanted to eat more-- what I was willing to "cheat" with. I've developed a very strange dependence that is definitely not okay. Sure, most of my eating revolves around social events, but how frequently do I run to the warehouse for work or to the bank or any number of errands and decide between a snack from Wendy's, Taco Bell, or the Target food court (soft pretzel combo $2 please hollaaaaaa!)? This unhealthy relationship with food and eating is what needs to be detoxed right now, so much more than my weight does. Even now, with a much clearer head, I feel generally like I'm never going to eat again. And that fills me with a hint of woe.
We're going to work seriously on that over the next few weeks. Yeesh.
I can't say that my body feels great as a result of this fast, but I can say I've become notably less pessimistic in the last few days. Is that the detox or is it a (somewhat) willing resignation to the things I can't control in my life (namely, work trips)? I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of both. But I'll take it. I'll let the poisonous attitude drain out of me with the non-digestible, foreign matter from my diet.
Last night's juice: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 lb grapes. DELICIOUS = $4.91.
This morning's happy: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 cup blackberries, 1/2 pineapple. TASTY = $4.72
Day 3 - 159.8 lbs
I hopped on the fruit juice train last night though, and feel much better about life. Ames and I (finally) saw Crazy, Stupid, Love to distract ourselves, and then I actually kind of fell asleep before 10:30! I slept great last night, and while I didn't get up in time to "get ready" this morning, I see the potential is there and I'm excited. I hope to get dressed with purpose each day next week.
The somewhat swift turn around from leading the Cuckoo Parade to a real feeling of mellow calmness kind of startled me. It made me take a cold, hard look at the fact that I am simply addicted to food. In the midst of it, all I could think about was changing my goal, replanning the next 30 days to include breaks, literal worrying about how I could possibly be social without involving Applebees or whatever.
Whoa, self. This crazy is not an attractive color on you. Step away from the hysteria.
But really. All I could do was weigh what food items I wanted to eat more-- what I was willing to "cheat" with. I've developed a very strange dependence that is definitely not okay. Sure, most of my eating revolves around social events, but how frequently do I run to the warehouse for work or to the bank or any number of errands and decide between a snack from Wendy's, Taco Bell, or the Target food court (soft pretzel combo $2 please hollaaaaaa!)? This unhealthy relationship with food and eating is what needs to be detoxed right now, so much more than my weight does. Even now, with a much clearer head, I feel generally like I'm never going to eat again. And that fills me with a hint of woe.
We're going to work seriously on that over the next few weeks. Yeesh.
I can't say that my body feels great as a result of this fast, but I can say I've become notably less pessimistic in the last few days. Is that the detox or is it a (somewhat) willing resignation to the things I can't control in my life (namely, work trips)? I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of both. But I'll take it. I'll let the poisonous attitude drain out of me with the non-digestible, foreign matter from my diet.
Last night's juice: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 lb grapes. DELICIOUS = $4.91.
This morning's happy: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 cup blackberries, 1/2 pineapple. TASTY = $4.72
Day 3 - 159.8 lbs
08 September 2011
how food makes me mad
Imma be straight up with you right now:
Yesterday suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
I definitely expected the headache/nausea/general feeling of gloom and doom, but I didn't expect it to come on quite so quickly. Am I just a pansy? It's possible. Did I simply make a cucky recipe for my lunch? Definitely yes.
At any rate, by the time I got home after work, I was tired, gloomy, and felt an impending headache that I knew would reach epic proportions (and oh, it did). I didn't even drink my juice dinner. Now I know that was probably a poor choice in that it probably would have taken away some of the nausea associated with hunger and helped with any dehydration (certainly a factor which I'm taking much more seriously today), but I felt like I'd just barf it right up.
On the bright side, my Wednesday night TV lineup is shaping up quite nicely for the fall-- Ghost Hunters, Toddlers & Tiaras, and Dance Moms all last night, and I can look forward to America's Next Top Model starting next week. Also I watched the Salt Lake Pride episode of Rosanne's Nuts, which was actually quite entertaining and made me proud to be a Utahn.
What's interesting is that as I sat there in my foggy misery, fighting the urge to sneak a fistful of cinnamon Life cereal out of the pantry because who would find out?!!, I was suddenly acutely aware of inundation of food commercials. Fast food, snack food, even "healthy" food like yogurt, low-calorie cereals and chocolate-covered granola, all for 160 calories or less. We are so obsessed with "eating right" but at the end of the day, I don't want to be counting calories. What kind of life is that? What kind of pleasure is derived from that? "Watch your weight by eating whole grain Cheerios. Watch your weight by eating this Wendy's salad. Watch your weight by indulging in snacks." All of these messages tell me that I should be watching my weight by eating. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?
In addition, the number of commercials for vitamins, supplements, fiber powders, and pain medication is kind of astonishing. Not only should I eat to watch my weight, I should take additional pills to give me the nutrients I'm missing in the food I'm eating (to watch my weight). Why aren't the foods I'm supposed to eat to lose weight providing me proper nutrients so I don't have to take a supplement?
I get that my preferred diet of nachos, potato chips and chicken go-wraps aren't nutritionally sound. But at least shouldn't all this touted "healthy" food be nutritionally sound?
It was all very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if part of my sour mood was related to this realization. And now I'm sipping on an apple/pear/carrot juice that's really quite tasty. And it was (maybe) all worth it to see the numbers on the scale this morning.
Day 2 -- 160.8 lbs
I'd say that's a rather inspiring start to this experiment.
I've arrived at the gate to Crazy Town, everybody. I'm standing there, looking right in at all the loons and feeling sympathetic. I'm almost one of them.
Turns out the gloom of Day 1 hasn't subsided like I had hoped. No amount of remembering how I lost 4.2lbs overnight will lift my spirits, no amount of pinning pictures of pretty clothes I'll soon fit into will soothe my woes. I took one sip of my lunch and shivered with a gag. I'm wussing out!!!!
NO I AM NOT.
What I am finding is that the finicky in me is trying to take control. It's okay, body! You still like fruit! You don't have to drink the weird vegetables (yet)! I need me some grapes ASAP. I will live off of them, and apples, and pears, and carrots, if I must!
How do you think a puree of spicy tuna rolls would taste...?
No?
Wah.
Thank you Hilary for pinning this motivation just when I need it most.
Yesterday suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
I definitely expected the headache/nausea/general feeling of gloom and doom, but I didn't expect it to come on quite so quickly. Am I just a pansy? It's possible. Did I simply make a cucky recipe for my lunch? Definitely yes.
At any rate, by the time I got home after work, I was tired, gloomy, and felt an impending headache that I knew would reach epic proportions (and oh, it did). I didn't even drink my juice dinner. Now I know that was probably a poor choice in that it probably would have taken away some of the nausea associated with hunger and helped with any dehydration (certainly a factor which I'm taking much more seriously today), but I felt like I'd just barf it right up.
On the bright side, my Wednesday night TV lineup is shaping up quite nicely for the fall-- Ghost Hunters, Toddlers & Tiaras, and Dance Moms all last night, and I can look forward to America's Next Top Model starting next week. Also I watched the Salt Lake Pride episode of Rosanne's Nuts, which was actually quite entertaining and made me proud to be a Utahn.
What's interesting is that as I sat there in my foggy misery, fighting the urge to sneak a fistful of cinnamon Life cereal out of the pantry because who would find out?!!, I was suddenly acutely aware of inundation of food commercials. Fast food, snack food, even "healthy" food like yogurt, low-calorie cereals and chocolate-covered granola, all for 160 calories or less. We are so obsessed with "eating right" but at the end of the day, I don't want to be counting calories. What kind of life is that? What kind of pleasure is derived from that? "Watch your weight by eating whole grain Cheerios. Watch your weight by eating this Wendy's salad. Watch your weight by indulging in snacks." All of these messages tell me that I should be watching my weight by eating. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?
In addition, the number of commercials for vitamins, supplements, fiber powders, and pain medication is kind of astonishing. Not only should I eat to watch my weight, I should take additional pills to give me the nutrients I'm missing in the food I'm eating (to watch my weight). Why aren't the foods I'm supposed to eat to lose weight providing me proper nutrients so I don't have to take a supplement?
I get that my preferred diet of nachos, potato chips and chicken go-wraps aren't nutritionally sound. But at least shouldn't all this touted "healthy" food be nutritionally sound?
It was all very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if part of my sour mood was related to this realization. And now I'm sipping on an apple/pear/carrot juice that's really quite tasty. And it was (maybe) all worth it to see the numbers on the scale this morning.
Day 2 -- 160.8 lbs
I'd say that's a rather inspiring start to this experiment.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
.2PM UPDATE.
I've arrived at the gate to Crazy Town, everybody. I'm standing there, looking right in at all the loons and feeling sympathetic. I'm almost one of them.
Turns out the gloom of Day 1 hasn't subsided like I had hoped. No amount of remembering how I lost 4.2lbs overnight will lift my spirits, no amount of pinning pictures of pretty clothes I'll soon fit into will soothe my woes. I took one sip of my lunch and shivered with a gag. I'm wussing out!!!!
NO I AM NOT.
What I am finding is that the finicky in me is trying to take control. It's okay, body! You still like fruit! You don't have to drink the weird vegetables (yet)! I need me some grapes ASAP. I will live off of them, and apples, and pears, and carrots, if I must!
How do you think a puree of spicy tuna rolls would taste...?
No?
Wah.
Thank you Hilary for pinning this motivation just when I need it most.
07 September 2011
day 1 - it begins
Today I feel like this (about juicing, not an open marriage-- to be clear):
Yesterday we went and rather blindly made our way through the produce department at Winco, trying to figure out exactly what items we need for the next two days or so, for both of us, for recipes we haven't tried (I have been a rather picky eater in my day, so this is kind of uncomfortable territory). We spent exactly $26.26 on produce, figuring it will get us through the next 2.5 days or so. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully? Who even knows.
We test ran a batch of fresh apple juice made with... actual fresh apples. Crazy, right?
And guess what it tasted like?
Actual, fresh apples.
My mind is blown. I don't even have babies yet and I already want to die at the thought of buying expensive Mott's apple juice instead of crushing up my own for their someday bottles. Only four little apples resulted in a 16oz glass of juice with nothing added. Oh brave new world!
A word about The Juicer.
We got the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer Pro (AS SEEN ON TV!). We had been looking at the Breville Juice Fountain Plus but we wanted to get cracking, and Bed, Bath & Beyond had it for a pretty good price, so we just went with it. Also, it's as seen on tv, so how can you go wrong, ammarite?
And for a second Arrested Development reference in a single post, Martin Short's character UNCLE JACK is based on the real-life Jack Lalanne, who was a bodybuilder and fitness guru. So if you're wondering if this image will make me giggle every single day, you're right on the money.
So okay, this morning we got up and made some juice. First we made "lunch," which resulted in much more juice than we expected it to-- two servings really. Kale, cucumber, apples, celery, lemon, and a tiny bit of ginger. I'm thinking there's too much cucumber, not enough kale. Look at me! I'm already nutrient conscious! Then we made breakfast: two servings of two pears, apple and ginger.
Word to the wise: a little bit of ginger goes a long way.
I'm not sure what we'll have for dinner-- probably something with more greens, maybe a smidge of citrus? We'll see.
As promised, I'm going to chronicle my daily weight loss because that is among my motivating factors in this experiment. I also want to keep a running total of how much I spend on food because I can already tell I'm going to have a lot more money in the bank at the end of the month than I otherwise would.
And so (even though I'm somewhat embarrassed by what I've gained back over the last year)...
Day 1-- 165.0 lbs.
Money spent (as of 10:30AM)-- $5.01
Yesterday we went and rather blindly made our way through the produce department at Winco, trying to figure out exactly what items we need for the next two days or so, for both of us, for recipes we haven't tried (I have been a rather picky eater in my day, so this is kind of uncomfortable territory). We spent exactly $26.26 on produce, figuring it will get us through the next 2.5 days or so. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully? Who even knows.
We test ran a batch of fresh apple juice made with... actual fresh apples. Crazy, right?
And guess what it tasted like?
Actual, fresh apples.
My mind is blown. I don't even have babies yet and I already want to die at the thought of buying expensive Mott's apple juice instead of crushing up my own for their someday bottles. Only four little apples resulted in a 16oz glass of juice with nothing added. Oh brave new world!
A word about The Juicer.
We got the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer Pro (AS SEEN ON TV!). We had been looking at the Breville Juice Fountain Plus but we wanted to get cracking, and Bed, Bath & Beyond had it for a pretty good price, so we just went with it. Also, it's as seen on tv, so how can you go wrong, ammarite?
And for a second Arrested Development reference in a single post, Martin Short's character UNCLE JACK is based on the real-life Jack Lalanne, who was a bodybuilder and fitness guru. So if you're wondering if this image will make me giggle every single day, you're right on the money.So okay, this morning we got up and made some juice. First we made "lunch," which resulted in much more juice than we expected it to-- two servings really. Kale, cucumber, apples, celery, lemon, and a tiny bit of ginger. I'm thinking there's too much cucumber, not enough kale. Look at me! I'm already nutrient conscious! Then we made breakfast: two servings of two pears, apple and ginger.
Word to the wise: a little bit of ginger goes a long way.
I'm not sure what we'll have for dinner-- probably something with more greens, maybe a smidge of citrus? We'll see.
As promised, I'm going to chronicle my daily weight loss because that is among my motivating factors in this experiment. I also want to keep a running total of how much I spend on food because I can already tell I'm going to have a lot more money in the bank at the end of the month than I otherwise would.
And so (even though I'm somewhat embarrassed by what I've gained back over the last year)...
Day 1-- 165.0 lbs.
Money spent (as of 10:30AM)-- $5.01
06 September 2011
on your mark - get set
Tomorrow is the Big Day.
Tomorrow begins JUICE FAST 2011.
Yesterday we got our juicer, today we're taking recipes to the grocery store for our first shopping trip, and tomorrow-- we begin.
My goal is to juice for at least 30 days straight. In another time (meaning, a week ago) this seemed like a monumental undertaking. In fact, a week ago I only planned to go ten days at a time and reevaluate after each ten days. But since it has been 8 days since my last Diet Coke and still going very strong, I'm going to commit to 30 days.
September 7 - October 6.
I hate to set out with a stipulation, but I will confess, I do plan to "cheat" one single evening to celebrate my birthday. I'm having a party at some point (who knows when, due to mumblegrumble work trips) and I am going to have some nachos for turning 25, darn it. But you know, I saw this on pinterest today and it rang true, even though I haven't even started yet:
Turning 25 is not a thing to "reward" myself for, particularly because so many people turn 25. It's not a rite, it's not an achievement, and even if it were either of those things, a "reward" in the form of nachos (while delicious) doesn't sit right with me. I look forward to this continued understanding of what I put into my body and why.
Note: but I will still eat nachos for my birthday. Because I like them.
ANYWAY.
Juice Fast 2011. Tomorrow is Day 1. Get excited about some updates regarding my progress. I'm keeping track of my weight and inches lost over here on the right ------> I'm already feeling peaceful and in control.
I can't wait to heal my body a little and maybe a little bit of my spirit too.
Tomorrow begins JUICE FAST 2011.
Yesterday we got our juicer, today we're taking recipes to the grocery store for our first shopping trip, and tomorrow-- we begin.
My goal is to juice for at least 30 days straight. In another time (meaning, a week ago) this seemed like a monumental undertaking. In fact, a week ago I only planned to go ten days at a time and reevaluate after each ten days. But since it has been 8 days since my last Diet Coke and still going very strong, I'm going to commit to 30 days.
September 7 - October 6.
I hate to set out with a stipulation, but I will confess, I do plan to "cheat" one single evening to celebrate my birthday. I'm having a party at some point (who knows when, due to mumblegrumble work trips) and I am going to have some nachos for turning 25, darn it. But you know, I saw this on pinterest today and it rang true, even though I haven't even started yet:
Turning 25 is not a thing to "reward" myself for, particularly because so many people turn 25. It's not a rite, it's not an achievement, and even if it were either of those things, a "reward" in the form of nachos (while delicious) doesn't sit right with me. I look forward to this continued understanding of what I put into my body and why.
Note: but I will still eat nachos for my birthday. Because I like them.
ANYWAY.
Juice Fast 2011. Tomorrow is Day 1. Get excited about some updates regarding my progress. I'm keeping track of my weight and inches lost over here on the right ------> I'm already feeling peaceful and in control.
I can't wait to heal my body a little and maybe a little bit of my spirit too.
31 August 2011
kicking a habit
If you haven't been able to tell from my recent tweets (which you can find right over there on the right column ----->, or you can just FOLLOW ME), I quit Diet Coke this week.
That's right. You read it correctly.
I am no longer drinking Diet Coke.
I quit cold turkey on Tuesday. I haven't had a single drop which, if any of you know me at all, is a rather large achievement. Like, a monumental achievement. If I'm Niel Armstrong, not drinking Diet Coke is my moon walk.
I mean, I get it. It's only been 2.5 days. But I'm really adapting some addicts mottos in my life and trying to focus on the "one day at a time" bit. I can only do this one day at a time. And in the scheme of things, long term is not something I can really focus on at the moment.
Let me tell you about what spurred this relatively sudden decision. I was facing this choice anyway with the impending Juice Fast, but the other day, I was at work and suddenly my whole body kind of seized up and I had trouble breathing and my hands were shaking and I was sweating all over and I was in such terrible pain I can't even explain it to you.
(If I'm being honest, my mind went straight to that place where I thought I might be featured on the next episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, since the pain kind of came in a few waves and I'd never felt that kind of intense pressure in my whole back and torso before. Needless to say, I'm sitting here almost three days later having not birthed a child, but I think it's kind of a funny hindsight-y kind of anecdote and definitely indicative of the way media affects my thought process. It's possible I should consider a media fast next.)
ANYWAY. I drove myself down to Urgent Care (because I'm a hands-on, DIY kind of gal) where Ames met me and I was tested for kidney stones because all my vitals were 100% normal, in spite of the fact that I was convinced my heart was racing out of my chest. No kidney stones. Oh, just turns out I was having a Panic Attack.
...'scuse me?
Now listen. This whole story may be considered TMI at this point-- being only 72 hours since it all happened-- and my family is probably shaking their heads disparagingly as I over-share my life, but I have a point here.
My point is that, while panic attacks are somewhat common, they are in no way normal. And while I'm investigating a number of other contributing causes as to why this all-of-a-sudden happened, the fact is I've been making choices in my life that have made me more prone to this sort of thing. One of those choices: over-consumption of Diet Coke and caffeine.
This is an example of how being cavalier and super awesome about the bad things I eat and drink is NOT trendy or cute or hilarious.
So h
ere I am. Luckily, by the time My Episode happened on Tuesday morning I hadn't had any Diet Coke that day, and I decided in that doctor's office that I was going to quit cold turkey-- that I was going to follow in the footsteps of my fantastically inspiring pipe-smoking grandfather who walked into a doctor's office one day to find a (benign) spot on his lip and quit right there on the spot, after decades and decades of smoking.
I mean, I feel like Grandpa Dab (affectionately known as Bop-Bop, if you're feeling nosy) could relate to my hobby-not-habit since he went so far as to include his pipe in his headshot.
But really. I sound so overly dramatic comparing Diet Coke to tobacco, but this is my health on the line here. Time for a drastic wake-up call to my system.
So far, it hasn't been terribly drastic. Mildly drastic, but not terribly. Right now this moment I'm staving off headaches which are totally to be expected. I feel much better about staving off headaches than encouraging my body to sustain another episode that makes me feel like I'm dying. So. There's that.
We haven't started the juicing yet, but I'm looking forward to it more than ever. It's probably better to have started this process with this step and then move on to removing all preservatives without shocking myself into oblivion. I have a serious dependence on preservatives, guys.
Correction:
I HAD a serious dependence on preservatives. NO LONGER!!
And in the meantime, it's amazing to me how wonderful and calming and happy my "Judy Garland" channel on Pandora is making me today. Just wonderful.
So what beverages (other than water, duh) do you suggest in lieu of the Diet Coke?
That's right. You read it correctly.
I am no longer drinking Diet Coke.
I quit cold turkey on Tuesday. I haven't had a single drop which, if any of you know me at all, is a rather large achievement. Like, a monumental achievement. If I'm Niel Armstrong, not drinking Diet Coke is my moon walk.
I mean, I get it. It's only been 2.5 days. But I'm really adapting some addicts mottos in my life and trying to focus on the "one day at a time" bit. I can only do this one day at a time. And in the scheme of things, long term is not something I can really focus on at the moment.
Let me tell you about what spurred this relatively sudden decision. I was facing this choice anyway with the impending Juice Fast, but the other day, I was at work and suddenly my whole body kind of seized up and I had trouble breathing and my hands were shaking and I was sweating all over and I was in such terrible pain I can't even explain it to you.
(If I'm being honest, my mind went straight to that place where I thought I might be featured on the next episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, since the pain kind of came in a few waves and I'd never felt that kind of intense pressure in my whole back and torso before. Needless to say, I'm sitting here almost three days later having not birthed a child, but I think it's kind of a funny hindsight-y kind of anecdote and definitely indicative of the way media affects my thought process. It's possible I should consider a media fast next.)
ANYWAY. I drove myself down to Urgent Care (because I'm a hands-on, DIY kind of gal) where Ames met me and I was tested for kidney stones because all my vitals were 100% normal, in spite of the fact that I was convinced my heart was racing out of my chest. No kidney stones. Oh, just turns out I was having a Panic Attack.
...'scuse me?
Now listen. This whole story may be considered TMI at this point-- being only 72 hours since it all happened-- and my family is probably shaking their heads disparagingly as I over-share my life, but I have a point here.
My point is that, while panic attacks are somewhat common, they are in no way normal. And while I'm investigating a number of other contributing causes as to why this all-of-a-sudden happened, the fact is I've been making choices in my life that have made me more prone to this sort of thing. One of those choices: over-consumption of Diet Coke and caffeine.
This is an example of how being cavalier and super awesome about the bad things I eat and drink is NOT trendy or cute or hilarious.
So h
ere I am. Luckily, by the time My Episode happened on Tuesday morning I hadn't had any Diet Coke that day, and I decided in that doctor's office that I was going to quit cold turkey-- that I was going to follow in the footsteps of my fantastically inspiring pipe-smoking grandfather who walked into a doctor's office one day to find a (benign) spot on his lip and quit right there on the spot, after decades and decades of smoking.
I mean, I feel like Grandpa Dab (affectionately known as Bop-Bop, if you're feeling nosy) could relate to my hobby-not-habit since he went so far as to include his pipe in his headshot.
But really. I sound so overly dramatic comparing Diet Coke to tobacco, but this is my health on the line here. Time for a drastic wake-up call to my system.
So far, it hasn't been terribly drastic. Mildly drastic, but not terribly. Right now this moment I'm staving off headaches which are totally to be expected. I feel much better about staving off headaches than encouraging my body to sustain another episode that makes me feel like I'm dying. So. There's that.
We haven't started the juicing yet, but I'm looking forward to it more than ever. It's probably better to have started this process with this step and then move on to removing all preservatives without shocking myself into oblivion. I have a serious dependence on preservatives, guys.
Correction:
I HAD a serious dependence on preservatives. NO LONGER!!
And in the meantime, it's amazing to me how wonderful and calming and happy my "Judy Garland" channel on Pandora is making me today. Just wonderful.
So what beverages (other than water, duh) do you suggest in lieu of the Diet Coke?
29 August 2011
a change
Something shocking has happened.
Through the years-- especially as folks like Liz Lemon have made it trendy and cute and hilarious-- I've developed a relationship with food that recognizes and acknowledges the ironic truth that nachos (for example) are at once bad for me, and I'm obsessed with them.
In this case, please feel free to replace "nachos" with any of (but not limited to) the following: Diet Coke, tacos, french fries, potato chips, Mike 'N' Ike, movie popcorn, cheeseburgers, curry, salted soft pretzels, club sandwiches, Cheez Its, macaroni and cheese, pizza, bread, bread sticks, cheese, Wendy's Chicken Go-Wraps.
(NOTE: at least lately I've had the pretense to order the grilled Go-Wraps but replace the [lower calorie] honey mustard with [higher calorie] ranch dressing [thereby basically undoing all attempts at cutting a few calories].)
Anyway, my point is that I've come to kind of pride myself on being a connoisseur of high-sodium, low-nutrient foods, kind of like how I pride myself on watching TV. I'm not going to pretend like I couldn't be doing other things with my time but I'm also not going to be one of those people who declares there is no value in TV. There is high value in TV! Production value! Entertainment value! And if you're a fan of the History Channel like me, EDUCATIONAL VALUE.
I'm not saying Wendy's/Taco Bell/Little Caesar's/Target Food Court has much value aside from taste value, but I think I could argue the educational value in frequenting these places. Some of the things I have learned are:
1. I will visit your establishment more frequently if it is clean (cleanliness, hygiene)
2. How to get the most out of my money spent (math)
3. How to eat the most food with the lowest total caloric intake-- ie. I can eat more Light Pringles than Regular Pringles for the same calories (math, logic/reasoning)
4. Making friends with the drive-thru clerks results in extra hot sauce packets (interpersonal, social)
5. Diet Coke always tastes better than Diet Pepsi (science)
However, I am finding that while such food provides educational and taste and social and even entertainment value of all kinds, I'm also starting to tire very much of the pursuit of food.
I'm one of those people who will arrive at 5pm on a busy day, having eaten lunch at such a time that maybe I'm not even terribly hungry, but I know given my evening schedule that I probably won't have time to get something to eat until at least 10pm, and while it's better to eat when I'm hungry, and not so much at night, or even let my body be hungry for a while, I'll go and get some drive-thru-y kind of dinner on my way to my evening plans because it's almost dinnertime and it's ingrained in my head to eat at dinnertime.
We won't even talk about how I get peckish at 10pm anyway and will, at least sometimes, go ahead and have a snack at 10pm. Since, you know, that happens too. Because it's fun! And usually involves Ames and some amount of tweet fodder.
But I'm tired of food, you guys. I mean, I'm not tired of the smell of terrible food, or the convenience of spending 5 minutes in line to order rather than cook it myself, but I'm plan ol' tired. The thought of chewing-- which has brought me so much satisfaction in the past-- is just tiresome. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to be so weak as to know what's good for me, know how to take care of myself, know how to lose these few pesky inches that I seem so helpless to lose from my body, and yet be seemingly totally incapable of passing up a bagel when one is sitting right in front of me, just screaming to be had.
It is time for some hard truths that I've been facing this week, in spite of how I know these things make me feel (namely lethargic, headachy and gross):
1. I am addicted to bread.
2. I am addicted to Diet Coke.
3. I will develop scurvy if I do not eat more fruit and vegetables.
4. There is a fine line between "cute/hilarious" and "gross" when it comes to being a fan of food.
I mean, I get it. I am not 100 lbs overweight. In fact, I'm only about 20 lbs heavier than I'd like to be. And in spite of that, I still skinny into size 6-8 pants, which is not in any way fat.
But isn't that the point? Look at my choices, look at my daily menus-- if I am able maintain a relatively stable level of health regarding my body's weight and size, how depressing is it that I don't have enough control to face this head on and really embrace my fullest potential?
I don't want to eat this kind of food anymore.
(That is the shocking thing I referred to up front, if you were wondering.)
To take control of my eating habits and really kick-start a lifestyle of health, Mr. Ames and I are beginning a juice fast this week as outlined in the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. What really appealed to me in this approach to "dieting" was the detox (since I've clearly clogged up my system with more preservatives and aspartame than anyone needs over a whole lifetime) and the fact that Joe Cross, the gentleman in the film, was able to heal his body and overcome an autoimmune disease that he had developed as a result of poor health. Being a patient of an autoimmune disease myself, I'm very interested to see if taking control of my health in this way may help to heal my body as well, and also change some lifestyle habits that will make me a better wife, friend, future mother, employee, and all-around human.
Also I want to brighten up my skin in a big way.
Basically what we'll be doing is limiting our diet to vegetables and some fruits, focusing on all those pesky micronutrients that are so hard to come by in over-processed packaged food. We'll take those foods and squish them into juice, which will make it easier to absorb the nutrients, and since we won't be digesting, it'll help to act as a natural detox as well. No bread, no Diet Coke, no drive-thru lines.
Incidentally, also no real thinking about what to eat. I'm already less tired!
I plan to outline our experience here, to really take stock of how it makes me feel and how I feel my health improving. While Joe Cross did his initial juice fast for 60 days, I'm going to take mine 10 days at a time, reevaluating how I feel as I go and perhaps taking a few breaks here and there. At very least, after the first 10 day cycle, I intend to have one day a week set aside for juicing for the rest of forever, so I can really concentrate on filling up on those nutrients my body seems to just be screaming for at the moment.
Am I crazy? A little bit. But I'm already really excited and unfazed by what I know will be a notable journey in embracing my health. It took me years to get to this point, it's not going to be an immediate, overnight change. And I probably won't ever lose my taste for junk. But I'm going to get it under control and make positive, informed choices.
Does anyone else have experience with juice fasts or similar detox "diets"? How was your experience?
Through the years-- especially as folks like Liz Lemon have made it trendy and cute and hilarious-- I've developed a relationship with food that recognizes and acknowledges the ironic truth that nachos (for example) are at once bad for me, and I'm obsessed with them.
In this case, please feel free to replace "nachos" with any of (but not limited to) the following: Diet Coke, tacos, french fries, potato chips, Mike 'N' Ike, movie popcorn, cheeseburgers, curry, salted soft pretzels, club sandwiches, Cheez Its, macaroni and cheese, pizza, bread, bread sticks, cheese, Wendy's Chicken Go-Wraps.
(NOTE: at least lately I've had the pretense to order the grilled Go-Wraps but replace the [lower calorie] honey mustard with [higher calorie] ranch dressing [thereby basically undoing all attempts at cutting a few calories].)
Anyway, my point is that I've come to kind of pride myself on being a connoisseur of high-sodium, low-nutrient foods, kind of like how I pride myself on watching TV. I'm not going to pretend like I couldn't be doing other things with my time but I'm also not going to be one of those people who declares there is no value in TV. There is high value in TV! Production value! Entertainment value! And if you're a fan of the History Channel like me, EDUCATIONAL VALUE.
I'm not saying Wendy's/Taco Bell/Little Caesar's/Target Food Court has much value aside from taste value, but I think I could argue the educational value in frequenting these places. Some of the things I have learned are:
1. I will visit your establishment more frequently if it is clean (cleanliness, hygiene)
2. How to get the most out of my money spent (math)
3. How to eat the most food with the lowest total caloric intake-- ie. I can eat more Light Pringles than Regular Pringles for the same calories (math, logic/reasoning)
4. Making friends with the drive-thru clerks results in extra hot sauce packets (interpersonal, social)
5. Diet Coke always tastes better than Diet Pepsi (science)
However, I am finding that while such food provides educational and taste and social and even entertainment value of all kinds, I'm also starting to tire very much of the pursuit of food.
I'm one of those people who will arrive at 5pm on a busy day, having eaten lunch at such a time that maybe I'm not even terribly hungry, but I know given my evening schedule that I probably won't have time to get something to eat until at least 10pm, and while it's better to eat when I'm hungry, and not so much at night, or even let my body be hungry for a while, I'll go and get some drive-thru-y kind of dinner on my way to my evening plans because it's almost dinnertime and it's ingrained in my head to eat at dinnertime.
We won't even talk about how I get peckish at 10pm anyway and will, at least sometimes, go ahead and have a snack at 10pm. Since, you know, that happens too. Because it's fun! And usually involves Ames and some amount of tweet fodder.
But I'm tired of food, you guys. I mean, I'm not tired of the smell of terrible food, or the convenience of spending 5 minutes in line to order rather than cook it myself, but I'm plan ol' tired. The thought of chewing-- which has brought me so much satisfaction in the past-- is just tiresome. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to be so weak as to know what's good for me, know how to take care of myself, know how to lose these few pesky inches that I seem so helpless to lose from my body, and yet be seemingly totally incapable of passing up a bagel when one is sitting right in front of me, just screaming to be had.
It is time for some hard truths that I've been facing this week, in spite of how I know these things make me feel (namely lethargic, headachy and gross):
1. I am addicted to bread.
2. I am addicted to Diet Coke.
3. I will develop scurvy if I do not eat more fruit and vegetables.
4. There is a fine line between "cute/hilarious" and "gross" when it comes to being a fan of food.
I mean, I get it. I am not 100 lbs overweight. In fact, I'm only about 20 lbs heavier than I'd like to be. And in spite of that, I still skinny into size 6-8 pants, which is not in any way fat.
But isn't that the point? Look at my choices, look at my daily menus-- if I am able maintain a relatively stable level of health regarding my body's weight and size, how depressing is it that I don't have enough control to face this head on and really embrace my fullest potential?
I don't want to eat this kind of food anymore.
(That is the shocking thing I referred to up front, if you were wondering.)
To take control of my eating habits and really kick-start a lifestyle of health, Mr. Ames and I are beginning a juice fast this week as outlined in the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. What really appealed to me in this approach to "dieting" was the detox (since I've clearly clogged up my system with more preservatives and aspartame than anyone needs over a whole lifetime) and the fact that Joe Cross, the gentleman in the film, was able to heal his body and overcome an autoimmune disease that he had developed as a result of poor health. Being a patient of an autoimmune disease myself, I'm very interested to see if taking control of my health in this way may help to heal my body as well, and also change some lifestyle habits that will make me a better wife, friend, future mother, employee, and all-around human.
Also I want to brighten up my skin in a big way.
Basically what we'll be doing is limiting our diet to vegetables and some fruits, focusing on all those pesky micronutrients that are so hard to come by in over-processed packaged food. We'll take those foods and squish them into juice, which will make it easier to absorb the nutrients, and since we won't be digesting, it'll help to act as a natural detox as well. No bread, no Diet Coke, no drive-thru lines.
Incidentally, also no real thinking about what to eat. I'm already less tired!
I plan to outline our experience here, to really take stock of how it makes me feel and how I feel my health improving. While Joe Cross did his initial juice fast for 60 days, I'm going to take mine 10 days at a time, reevaluating how I feel as I go and perhaps taking a few breaks here and there. At very least, after the first 10 day cycle, I intend to have one day a week set aside for juicing for the rest of forever, so I can really concentrate on filling up on those nutrients my body seems to just be screaming for at the moment.
Am I crazy? A little bit. But I'm already really excited and unfazed by what I know will be a notable journey in embracing my health. It took me years to get to this point, it's not going to be an immediate, overnight change. And I probably won't ever lose my taste for junk. But I'm going to get it under control and make positive, informed choices.
Does anyone else have experience with juice fasts or similar detox "diets"? How was your experience?
10 August 2011
news briefs
1. I started the 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels. I didn't understand what people meant when they told me the program made/makes them angry. I've done some Jillian workouts before and, while difficult (I'm not made for cardio yoga or whatever. But really.), they haven't made me "angry." But I get it now. I feel mad when I do Level 2 of The Shred. Like, I'm literally in a bad mood when I spend that 20 minutes of my life doing so many effing squats. But it's working. I have Incredible Shrinking Arms. Go figure.
2. I'm also still Couch-to-5K-ing, slowly but surely. I'm finding that I rather like it. And it gives me a good excuse to only Shred on the days I'm not C25King. I'm going to be the Incredible Shrinking Emily, complete with Incredible Shrinking Legs so I look cute in boots this fall.
3. But wait-- when can it be fall?? I really don't do well with summer and though I was trying to embrace the bare legs and short sleeves and a varied wardrobe of sunglasses, I'm suuuuuupes over it. I'm not a summer girl. In addition, I'm not a desert girl, so being suck in summer IN THE DESERT is getting really tiresome. Where can I live where it can be autumn for most of the year? Any tips?
4. Maybe if I go shopping for fall clothes to replace the summer clothes I'm weary of, it'll speed the mental process along. Also, I intend to wear boots and scarves daily beginning September 25 regardless of the temperature, so.
5. Speaking of September 25, I am having a 25th birthday party on September 24th. I know that's not the same as the 25, but the 25th is a Sunday so I figure we can have a party on the 24th that may roll over to the wee hours of the 25th and that will be appropriate. With sparklers. I just thought of that. Anyway, it's going to be loosely Big Fish themed, based on the barefoot party they have in Spectre with lots of lights and pretty dresses and Missy Pyle has enormous hair, and if you're in Utah, I would love to have you come. There will be delicious food and it will be in our backyard and I really hope everyone dresses nicely for it. And it will still be warm enough for bare feet! More details to come...
6. I've recently discovered Slim Fast meal bars. I had avoided them till now because they looked like protein bars which are naaaaaaast, but the Chewy Chocolate Crisp variety is really quite delightful and filling and not a protein bar (thus not chalky). Perfect for breakfast.
7. I dyed my hair red and it looks like this:
My sister Lizzy took the photo and is really quite a wiz with a camera, if you're looking for headshots or portraits or whatev. CLICKY CLICKY her blog.
8. Hey guys-- let's be pinterest buddies.
9. Did you ever watch that show Better Off Ted? Probably not, since it only lasted two seasons. I didn't watch it either till now on Netflix, but all I'm saying is it's a hoot and a half. Little bit Arrested Development, little bit Big Bang Theory, little bit The IT Crowd... Little bit HILARIOUS.
10. I'm performing in a little production of a play called LITTLE HAPPY SECRETS as part of the fringe season at Salt Lake Acting Company. My friend Mel wrote it, and my friend Dave is directing it, and my friends Alex and Emily and Elise are in it with me. Please come see it, if you have an extra hour on August 26 or 27. It is a short show, but very interesting and we are all very excited about it. GET TICKETS HERE.
11. I'm looking to get a new camera. Any thoughts on something like an Olympus PEN E-PL2?
What's going on in your life?
2. I'm also still Couch-to-5K-ing, slowly but surely. I'm finding that I rather like it. And it gives me a good excuse to only Shred on the days I'm not C25King. I'm going to be the Incredible Shrinking Emily, complete with Incredible Shrinking Legs so I look cute in boots this fall.
3. But wait-- when can it be fall?? I really don't do well with summer and though I was trying to embrace the bare legs and short sleeves and a varied wardrobe of sunglasses, I'm suuuuuupes over it. I'm not a summer girl. In addition, I'm not a desert girl, so being suck in summer IN THE DESERT is getting really tiresome. Where can I live where it can be autumn for most of the year? Any tips?
4. Maybe if I go shopping for fall clothes to replace the summer clothes I'm weary of, it'll speed the mental process along. Also, I intend to wear boots and scarves daily beginning September 25 regardless of the temperature, so.
5. Speaking of September 25, I am having a 25th birthday party on September 24th. I know that's not the same as the 25, but the 25th is a Sunday so I figure we can have a party on the 24th that may roll over to the wee hours of the 25th and that will be appropriate. With sparklers. I just thought of that. Anyway, it's going to be loosely Big Fish themed, based on the barefoot party they have in Spectre with lots of lights and pretty dresses and Missy Pyle has enormous hair, and if you're in Utah, I would love to have you come. There will be delicious food and it will be in our backyard and I really hope everyone dresses nicely for it. And it will still be warm enough for bare feet! More details to come...
6. I've recently discovered Slim Fast meal bars. I had avoided them till now because they looked like protein bars which are naaaaaaast, but the Chewy Chocolate Crisp variety is really quite delightful and filling and not a protein bar (thus not chalky). Perfect for breakfast.
7. I dyed my hair red and it looks like this:
My sister Lizzy took the photo and is really quite a wiz with a camera, if you're looking for headshots or portraits or whatev. CLICKY CLICKY her blog.
8. Hey guys-- let's be pinterest buddies.
9. Did you ever watch that show Better Off Ted? Probably not, since it only lasted two seasons. I didn't watch it either till now on Netflix, but all I'm saying is it's a hoot and a half. Little bit Arrested Development, little bit Big Bang Theory, little bit The IT Crowd... Little bit HILARIOUS.
10. I'm performing in a little production of a play called LITTLE HAPPY SECRETS as part of the fringe season at Salt Lake Acting Company. My friend Mel wrote it, and my friend Dave is directing it, and my friends Alex and Emily and Elise are in it with me. Please come see it, if you have an extra hour on August 26 or 27. It is a short show, but very interesting and we are all very excited about it. GET TICKETS HERE.
11. I'm looking to get a new camera. Any thoughts on something like an Olympus PEN E-PL2?
What's going on in your life?
20 July 2011
self-actualizing my appearance
I am thinking about some things right now.
1. It's very warm in here.
2. There is junk all over my desk.
3. There are pink jelly bellies in my desk, which I am avoiding.
4. I'm tired of not presenting myself to my best potential.
I've been thinking about #4 a lot lately, as I buzz to work every morning at 8AM, having usually rolled out of bed anywhere between 7:29 -7:46. Obviously, this doesn't leave very much time for me to put on nice clothes or do my hair or achieve much making up beyond a swipe or two of mascara when I'm stopped at the light by Riverwoods.
(Sometimes I can't do more than wipe the remnants of last night's show makeup from my eyelids and hope the remaining eyelash glue can somehow pass as "full lashes"-- you're welcome, world!)
This is a problem.
I've frequently been surprised over the years by how my outside doesn't match my inside. That is, sometimes when I pass by a mirror or see myself in a photo, I'm surprised by how I look. I feel like I look a certain way, only to discover that I actually look another. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just always kind of curious to me. This has been the case especially lately when I barely manage a half-baked attempt to match the feel with the look-- obviously, the disconnect isn't a surprise at all in these cases, though it's no less disappointing.
I have all these dreams and intentions of really embracing my look and self-actualizing but at the crack of 7AM, I just really like to sleep, is all. To get up an hour earlier doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, but somehow it is. I can't get past it. I'm starting to worry that my outer appearance (or, at least, my perception of it) is an indication of how I feel about my inner self, which makes me wildly uneasy.
The truth is that I actually like myself. I think I am pretty neat. I think I have some cool physical features to compliment my inner features. The only thing holding me back is me.
I read this really lovely blog as recommended by my friend Heidi that provides all kinds of juicy tid-bits about stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood, and in this recent post about Joan Crawford, she talks about the "persona" of Joan Crawford.
"I think the public comes to dream, to identify with me, especially in my early pictures...even when I just walk out of my building, I feel like I owe it to the doorman that I look like Joan Crawford. I overheard him once talking to another doorman and he said with pride, 'Joan Crawford lives in my building.' So, if I can't look like Joan Crawford, I don't go out. If anyone sees me, it's important they see Joan Crawford. That's why I dress up, even to throw out the garbage."
Now I understand it would be terribly easy to take this out of context and to the extreme. I don't pretend to be-- or need or want to be!-- so concerned with how I look that I can't take out the garbage without looking like (and therefore feeling like) myself (I usually let Ames take out the garbage anyway-- wocka wocka!). But I think it is an important trait to consider. The way you take care of yourself is an indication of who you are. People come to expect certain things about a person based on how they take care of themselves-- that is just a fact. There are dozens of reality shows based on this very concept. Though I'm no Joan Crawford, don't I owe it to myself to project on the outside who I am on the inside?
I think the most perfect current example of this idea is Kate Middleton. I think she is perfection. There are very few who feel like the is anything short of perfection. And you know, whether or not Kate herself regards herself as perfection, her (perfect) appearance projects the image of who she is and the station she has inherited for herself. Even grocery shopping in jeans, she's put together, her hair is done (when was the last time she has been seen in a messy ponytail or bun? Ever???), and she is neat. She clearly projects the idea that she respects herself and her title and her family and her responsibility.
So what is it about me that can't drag myself out of bed 10 minutes earlier to have enough time to even blow dry my hair nicely? I'm no duchess, but I am capable of respecting myself a little more than to resort to sloppy hair and yesterday's eye makeup.
Right?
I'm having my hair done on Friday. It will be a rather drastic change, and I'm excited. I'm also hoping it will be a kick-start in appreciating and taking care of the hair I will spend some nice money to have done, which I'm hoping will have a domino effect.
I'm also considering another Clean Sweep of my closet to really purge the clothes I don't/shouldn't wear and make room for new things-- things I like, that are flattering, and that will project an image of confidence.
AND I'm going to pull out that lipstick more frequently. Again. Because there's just something about the expectation of wearing lipstick that forces a person to get ready in the morning, am I right?
In the meantime, any tips for turning this snacking night-owl who hates to have wet hair into an early rising, clean-haired, exercise-before-work goddess?
1. It's very warm in here.
2. There is junk all over my desk.
3. There are pink jelly bellies in my desk, which I am avoiding.
4. I'm tired of not presenting myself to my best potential.
I've been thinking about #4 a lot lately, as I buzz to work every morning at 8AM, having usually rolled out of bed anywhere between 7:29 -7:46. Obviously, this doesn't leave very much time for me to put on nice clothes or do my hair or achieve much making up beyond a swipe or two of mascara when I'm stopped at the light by Riverwoods.
(Sometimes I can't do more than wipe the remnants of last night's show makeup from my eyelids and hope the remaining eyelash glue can somehow pass as "full lashes"-- you're welcome, world!)
This is a problem.
I've frequently been surprised over the years by how my outside doesn't match my inside. That is, sometimes when I pass by a mirror or see myself in a photo, I'm surprised by how I look. I feel like I look a certain way, only to discover that I actually look another. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just always kind of curious to me. This has been the case especially lately when I barely manage a half-baked attempt to match the feel with the look-- obviously, the disconnect isn't a surprise at all in these cases, though it's no less disappointing.
I have all these dreams and intentions of really embracing my look and self-actualizing but at the crack of 7AM, I just really like to sleep, is all. To get up an hour earlier doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, but somehow it is. I can't get past it. I'm starting to worry that my outer appearance (or, at least, my perception of it) is an indication of how I feel about my inner self, which makes me wildly uneasy.
The truth is that I actually like myself. I think I am pretty neat. I think I have some cool physical features to compliment my inner features. The only thing holding me back is me.
I read this really lovely blog as recommended by my friend Heidi that provides all kinds of juicy tid-bits about stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood, and in this recent post about Joan Crawford, she talks about the "persona" of Joan Crawford.
"I think the public comes to dream, to identify with me, especially in my early pictures...even when I just walk out of my building, I feel like I owe it to the doorman that I look like Joan Crawford. I overheard him once talking to another doorman and he said with pride, 'Joan Crawford lives in my building.' So, if I can't look like Joan Crawford, I don't go out. If anyone sees me, it's important they see Joan Crawford. That's why I dress up, even to throw out the garbage."
Now I understand it would be terribly easy to take this out of context and to the extreme. I don't pretend to be-- or need or want to be!-- so concerned with how I look that I can't take out the garbage without looking like (and therefore feeling like) myself (I usually let Ames take out the garbage anyway-- wocka wocka!). But I think it is an important trait to consider. The way you take care of yourself is an indication of who you are. People come to expect certain things about a person based on how they take care of themselves-- that is just a fact. There are dozens of reality shows based on this very concept. Though I'm no Joan Crawford, don't I owe it to myself to project on the outside who I am on the inside?
I think the most perfect current example of this idea is Kate Middleton. I think she is perfection. There are very few who feel like the is anything short of perfection. And you know, whether or not Kate herself regards herself as perfection, her (perfect) appearance projects the image of who she is and the station she has inherited for herself. Even grocery shopping in jeans, she's put together, her hair is done (when was the last time she has been seen in a messy ponytail or bun? Ever???), and she is neat. She clearly projects the idea that she respects herself and her title and her family and her responsibility.
So what is it about me that can't drag myself out of bed 10 minutes earlier to have enough time to even blow dry my hair nicely? I'm no duchess, but I am capable of respecting myself a little more than to resort to sloppy hair and yesterday's eye makeup.
Right?
I'm having my hair done on Friday. It will be a rather drastic change, and I'm excited. I'm also hoping it will be a kick-start in appreciating and taking care of the hair I will spend some nice money to have done, which I'm hoping will have a domino effect.
I'm also considering another Clean Sweep of my closet to really purge the clothes I don't/shouldn't wear and make room for new things-- things I like, that are flattering, and that will project an image of confidence.
AND I'm going to pull out that lipstick more frequently. Again. Because there's just something about the expectation of wearing lipstick that forces a person to get ready in the morning, am I right?
In the meantime, any tips for turning this snacking night-owl who hates to have wet hair into an early rising, clean-haired, exercise-before-work goddess?
12 July 2011
theens
Oh hey, blog. I've neglected you. Aside from meandering through a congested steam of consciousness (PS. it turned out to be a pretty nasty sinus infection, with subsequent "Restricted Airway Disease," not just a run-of-the-mill cold. Go figs.) and a(nother) daily affirmation regarding happiness and appreciating the little things in life, I've been pretty remiss.
Example of such:
I never introduced the new addition to our family.
She is a rescue cat from the same organization where we found Trevor and she is 8 years old. Her name is Lucille 2 because I love Liza Minnelli, one of the dogs upstairs is already named Lucy, and she has red hair like Lucille Ball which sounds an awful lot like Lucille Bell, which is hilarious. Lucille 2 is rather terrible and is very good at teasing and chasing Trevor. He tends to sequester himself in a Fortress of Solitude in the backroom, since she doesn't jump up on things very much. He also likes to hide on the window sill.
Trevor is the best hider. (No he isn't.)
Lucille 2 also happens to be a naughty pee-pee cat. This is something I don't know how to handle. Any ideas on how we can get her to stop peeing on, say, the dirty laundry sitting in laundry baskets 1.5 feet away from her own litter box? Any advice is quite appreciated.
I've also finally joined the world of Pinterest. So far I mostly focus on cool clothes, cool house decorating, and cool ideas for the cool party I'm going to have for my cool 25th birthday in September. Pinterest makes me feel desperately cool (even though it feels like basically the same 37 photos are just being passed around) so CLICKY-CLICKY and let's be Pinterest friends!
Also, Ames and I got to channel our inner future Disney employees in the Provo Freedom Festival parade last week. It definitely made a part of my lifetime complete.
Also also, we've been making drastic improvements to our little basement apartment house. We have aqua colored walls in our living room, guys. HOW RAD ARE WE???
Also also also, I officially started my Couch to 5k program last night. In nine weeks, I hope to become a runner. I'm always impressed with people who run, and I want to be one of those people. I also want/need to be skinny so, that's good motivation too. Has anyone else done/had success with a C25K?
How's summer treating you?
Example of such:
I never introduced the new addition to our family.
She is a rescue cat from the same organization where we found Trevor and she is 8 years old. Her name is Lucille 2 because I love Liza Minnelli, one of the dogs upstairs is already named Lucy, and she has red hair like Lucille Ball which sounds an awful lot like Lucille Bell, which is hilarious. Lucille 2 is rather terrible and is very good at teasing and chasing Trevor. He tends to sequester himself in a Fortress of Solitude in the backroom, since she doesn't jump up on things very much. He also likes to hide on the window sill.
Trevor is the best hider. (No he isn't.)Lucille 2 also happens to be a naughty pee-pee cat. This is something I don't know how to handle. Any ideas on how we can get her to stop peeing on, say, the dirty laundry sitting in laundry baskets 1.5 feet away from her own litter box? Any advice is quite appreciated.
I've also finally joined the world of Pinterest. So far I mostly focus on cool clothes, cool house decorating, and cool ideas for the cool party I'm going to have for my cool 25th birthday in September. Pinterest makes me feel desperately cool (even though it feels like basically the same 37 photos are just being passed around) so CLICKY-CLICKY and let's be Pinterest friends!
Also, Ames and I got to channel our inner future Disney employees in the Provo Freedom Festival parade last week. It definitely made a part of my lifetime complete.
Also also, we've been making drastic improvements to our little basement apartment house. We have aqua colored walls in our living room, guys. HOW RAD ARE WE???Also also also, I officially started my Couch to 5k program last night. In nine weeks, I hope to become a runner. I'm always impressed with people who run, and I want to be one of those people. I also want/need to be skinny so, that's good motivation too. Has anyone else done/had success with a C25K?
How's summer treating you?
06 July 2011
bright and shiny
I am happy again today.
I'm not sure if it's the new Sharpie pens that write perfectly and make my handwriting look cool, or the whole pound of pink beans (tutti-frutti jelly bellies) I got, or the sushi from last night, or my aqua living room, or having everyone tell me I look skinny even though I've actually gained weight, or reading my own tweets from the last year all morning, or the rain last night, or feeling so good about myself lately, or having the cutest cats in the world. I think it's all of those things.
Whatever it is, I'm happy again today.
Actually, I've been happy every day since last Wednesday evening. That's one whole entire week of straight-up Happy.
I think it must be a little strange that I'm so marveled about being happy for a week. Happy shouldn't be something so awesome that I feel compelled to remark "I am happy again today." Happy should be a given, shouldn't it? It absolutely should be. I'd be sad that it's not always a given, but to be sad mean being un-happy and I can't be that right now, please and thank you. I'm too busy being happy.
It turns out the congestion from my previous post was actually a pretty nasty sinus infection with subsequent "Restrictive Airway Disease." Doesn't that sound dire? It was, actually, only now I'm taking antibiotics and I feel so refreshed about life. Probably because I can breathe. I'm sure there's a lot of psychology behind the all the oxygen flowing to my brain, aside from the basic anatomy of it.
Also, I'm eating the greatest customized salad from that place Marley's in the Riverwoods and I'm seriously having a come-apart about how delicious it is. I'm eating it as if I've never eaten a salad before-- as if I've never eaten at all before.
Somehow, all good things in my life manage to conclude with food.
I'm not sure if it's the new Sharpie pens that write perfectly and make my handwriting look cool, or the whole pound of pink beans (tutti-frutti jelly bellies) I got, or the sushi from last night, or my aqua living room, or having everyone tell me I look skinny even though I've actually gained weight, or reading my own tweets from the last year all morning, or the rain last night, or feeling so good about myself lately, or having the cutest cats in the world. I think it's all of those things.
Whatever it is, I'm happy again today.
Actually, I've been happy every day since last Wednesday evening. That's one whole entire week of straight-up Happy.
I think it must be a little strange that I'm so marveled about being happy for a week. Happy shouldn't be something so awesome that I feel compelled to remark "I am happy again today." Happy should be a given, shouldn't it? It absolutely should be. I'd be sad that it's not always a given, but to be sad mean being un-happy and I can't be that right now, please and thank you. I'm too busy being happy.
It turns out the congestion from my previous post was actually a pretty nasty sinus infection with subsequent "Restrictive Airway Disease." Doesn't that sound dire? It was, actually, only now I'm taking antibiotics and I feel so refreshed about life. Probably because I can breathe. I'm sure there's a lot of psychology behind the all the oxygen flowing to my brain, aside from the basic anatomy of it.
Also, I'm eating the greatest customized salad from that place Marley's in the Riverwoods and I'm seriously having a come-apart about how delicious it is. I'm eating it as if I've never eaten a salad before-- as if I've never eaten at all before.
Somehow, all good things in my life manage to conclude with food.
24 June 2011
thoughts while congested
I'm alone again in the office today. It's becoming so frequent that I think I might forget altogether what it's like to actually work with people. Okay, so I've been playing a Ke$ha-inspired playlist on Pandora between phone calls! Okay! So I have! It's my way of going all Risky Business without stripping down to underpants because this actually is a business and I'm more professional than that!
But not so professional as to refrain from Ke$ha while alone in the office.
I've got a nasty cough and a thick layer of mucus lining my nose and throat. Gimme a break.
I've also managed to be really pretty productive, so we'll just see who's laughing when everyone gets back and all the records are nice and clean, okay?
Speaking of productive, I'm getting ready to paint my living room a lovely shade of Aqua Ocean (just go with me-- in truth, this living room is going to blow your mind) and so spent last evening doing some heavy-duty spring cleaning on the walls and baseboards. While I knew there was no way these walls have seen soap for a long time, I was truly unprepared for the amount of grime awaiting me. Four magic erasers, three cloth rags, two refills of soapy water, and dozens of disposable wash cloths later... I finished half the room. But I also rearranged the furniture and had a stroke of inspiration regarding what to hang on the walls to cultivate storage while maintaining aesthetic and, admittedly, cutting back on the general amount of exposed Aqua Ocean.
I'm excited/terrified to tackle the bathroom.
Speaking of bathrooms, that's the worst part about being alone in the office-- trying to time bathroom breaks just right so I don't miss phone calls or the possibility of a visiting UPS man. It is much harder than you'd think, particularly due to the frequency of my bathroom breaks, owing to the tiniest bladder known to man + guzzling water in an attempt to flush out this cold x I have to sing tonight and tomorrow morning.
I think if I'm ever rich, I'd like to get a bladder enhancement. Do you think that's even possible? To increase the size of my bladder? Because pee breaks seriously cramp my style.
Oh, and have I mentioned that this very post may be the one to push me over 40,000 hits on my counter? LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN! And I'm going for 50,000 by the end of summer-- because I know just how much everyone likes to hear about my congestion, the grime on the walls of my apartment, and my unfortunate bladder.
Have you ever heard of any one more cool?
But not so professional as to refrain from Ke$ha while alone in the office.
I've got a nasty cough and a thick layer of mucus lining my nose and throat. Gimme a break.
I've also managed to be really pretty productive, so we'll just see who's laughing when everyone gets back and all the records are nice and clean, okay?
Speaking of productive, I'm getting ready to paint my living room a lovely shade of Aqua Ocean (just go with me-- in truth, this living room is going to blow your mind) and so spent last evening doing some heavy-duty spring cleaning on the walls and baseboards. While I knew there was no way these walls have seen soap for a long time, I was truly unprepared for the amount of grime awaiting me. Four magic erasers, three cloth rags, two refills of soapy water, and dozens of disposable wash cloths later... I finished half the room. But I also rearranged the furniture and had a stroke of inspiration regarding what to hang on the walls to cultivate storage while maintaining aesthetic and, admittedly, cutting back on the general amount of exposed Aqua Ocean.
I'm excited/terrified to tackle the bathroom.
Speaking of bathrooms, that's the worst part about being alone in the office-- trying to time bathroom breaks just right so I don't miss phone calls or the possibility of a visiting UPS man. It is much harder than you'd think, particularly due to the frequency of my bathroom breaks, owing to the tiniest bladder known to man + guzzling water in an attempt to flush out this cold x I have to sing tonight and tomorrow morning.
I think if I'm ever rich, I'd like to get a bladder enhancement. Do you think that's even possible? To increase the size of my bladder? Because pee breaks seriously cramp my style.
Oh, and have I mentioned that this very post may be the one to push me over 40,000 hits on my counter? LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN! And I'm going for 50,000 by the end of summer-- because I know just how much everyone likes to hear about my congestion, the grime on the walls of my apartment, and my unfortunate bladder.
Have you ever heard of any one more cool?
21 June 2011
today's inspiration
Isla Fisher.
She is so pretty. And she has a very pretty name, too.
She gets mixed up with Amy Adams (but I think Isla is way cuter).
She also has very pretty hair, that I intend to copy soon.
I mean it this time. I'm seriously actually going to do my hair like this. I know I was all about the red hair last summer and then wimped out, but not this time. It is happening. Viva summer!
She is so pretty. And she has a very pretty name, too.She gets mixed up with Amy Adams (but I think Isla is way cuter).She also has very pretty hair, that I intend to copy soon.I mean it this time. I'm seriously actually going to do my hair like this. I know I was all about the red hair last summer and then wimped out, but not this time. It is happening. Viva summer!
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