So once upon a time I started this other blog called Metaphorikally Speaking, intent to post all sorts of interesting and "official" writing pieces that I wrote for school or for myself or whatever. This blog was all but disbanded in October 2008 when, for whatever reason, I lost confidence in myself, or the blog, or myself on the blog or whatever.
But then tonight I was digging through boxes of old school papers, and lo and behold: I'm actually kind of proud of some of them. WARNING! SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION AHEAD! So I'm going to resume the blog. It's kind of precious, in that I'm kind of nervous about it, in that I feel kind of silly about it, in that I don't know if I'm worth shameless self-promotion.
Regardless, there's a link right there. -------->
Click on it. Or click on these very words that are, in fact, a link!
Or whatever.
31 August 2009
28 August 2009
missing academia
Well. I'm back, two rings on the left hand and a shiny new last name to show off. Of course I still need to get that legalized, but it can only happen as fast as Utah County will process my marriage license, so here we are.
I did make the decision just to go Emily Bell on facebook. There's that, at least. I knew you were all worried.
I'm sure a long, sloppy, "What I've Learned So Far" new wife post is expected since it has been, you know, a whole week and I'm a serious expert now, you guys. For better or worse, this is not that post. What is it that drives me to blog this evening?
School.
Are you kidding, self? I want to write about school, just six months after I wrote this post, questioning the merit and the "point" of this mystical concept of higher education? Yes. I do.
With all the commotion of wedding planning, and then suddenly (and blessedly) finding myself with a full time job, and moving, and settling a house, and then actually getting married, and sweeping off to Disneyland for a few days, only to be thrown back to Real Life just seven hours later, there was not much time for us (especially Ames, since I've graduated, duh) to ease ourselves back into School, and all that comes with it. Buying books, printing out schedules, reading a dozen syllabi and testing new pens on a brand new notebook, to say nothing of diving immediately back into auditions and rehearsals and performances in two weeks-- I find I didn't really prepare myself to actually donate my newly acquired other half quite so fast, though I did expect it. The most unexpected side to this story, however, is that I'm completely jealous.
To be true, there's a very physical sigh of relief to be sighed in the knowledge that I'm not having to face that First Week of School pressure, when you really do set yourself up to define the kind of student you'll be for that semester. I'm not pouring over assignment schedules, clamming up at the thought that I don't have a paper due in just three days, even though school barely started, and wondering when I'll find time to do all this homework in such a way that it won't interfere with my social life.
On the flip side though, I'm starting to feel this strange sense of remorse that I won't get to write any fun papers, even though I basically left every single "fun" paper of my college career until the very last minute to be written. I'm not going to get to sit through any of Rick Duerden's phenomenal lectures or (brace yourselves) take any of his exams. My fingers don't get to stretch all out under the weight of very heavy BYU Bookstore bags filled with 15+ books to read throughout the semester. I love new books. They were expensive sometimes, but I do love me some new books.
So okay, does this mean I should go back to grad school, assuming I could find a program I 1) want to apply to 2) would thrive in 3) be accepted to? I struggled as an undergrad, I mean I really did. I don't do the whole "school" game very well, and I never have. I like learning, though. And I like writing, and researching. And I like knowing things. I really, really like knowing things.
It could be that I'm somewhat daunted by the idea of facing the Employment Application Process again, since my job ceases to be full time within a few months, on top of the fact that I need to somehow provide benefits for this new little branch of the Bell family. Or even just money to buy insurance from an independent company, if necessary. Of course that undertaking has something to do with it, but I really think most of it has to do with being surrounded by the academic atmosphere and participating in a learning process.
As I look for jobs, ideally I want to land in a school setting, even if it's just in administration. I loved working at IHS and so many years at BYU. I like being around people who are smart and who are committed to learning (even if they aren't, as in my case, entirely committed to getting straight A's). I like it.
I've never not had a First Day of School in September before. That is weird. I'm not going to have a First Day of School next week. What am I possibly going to do with myself?!!
I'll probably just dig out my British Literature Norton Anthologies and skim through all the notes I made in the margins to prove to myself that I'm smart and that I actually liked school a lot a lot a lot, even just in hindsight. That'll show me.
I did make the decision just to go Emily Bell on facebook. There's that, at least. I knew you were all worried.
I'm sure a long, sloppy, "What I've Learned So Far" new wife post is expected since it has been, you know, a whole week and I'm a serious expert now, you guys. For better or worse, this is not that post. What is it that drives me to blog this evening?
School.
Are you kidding, self? I want to write about school, just six months after I wrote this post, questioning the merit and the "point" of this mystical concept of higher education? Yes. I do.
With all the commotion of wedding planning, and then suddenly (and blessedly) finding myself with a full time job, and moving, and settling a house, and then actually getting married, and sweeping off to Disneyland for a few days, only to be thrown back to Real Life just seven hours later, there was not much time for us (especially Ames, since I've graduated, duh) to ease ourselves back into School, and all that comes with it. Buying books, printing out schedules, reading a dozen syllabi and testing new pens on a brand new notebook, to say nothing of diving immediately back into auditions and rehearsals and performances in two weeks-- I find I didn't really prepare myself to actually donate my newly acquired other half quite so fast, though I did expect it. The most unexpected side to this story, however, is that I'm completely jealous.
To be true, there's a very physical sigh of relief to be sighed in the knowledge that I'm not having to face that First Week of School pressure, when you really do set yourself up to define the kind of student you'll be for that semester. I'm not pouring over assignment schedules, clamming up at the thought that I don't have a paper due in just three days, even though school barely started, and wondering when I'll find time to do all this homework in such a way that it won't interfere with my social life.
On the flip side though, I'm starting to feel this strange sense of remorse that I won't get to write any fun papers, even though I basically left every single "fun" paper of my college career until the very last minute to be written. I'm not going to get to sit through any of Rick Duerden's phenomenal lectures or (brace yourselves) take any of his exams. My fingers don't get to stretch all out under the weight of very heavy BYU Bookstore bags filled with 15+ books to read throughout the semester. I love new books. They were expensive sometimes, but I do love me some new books.
So okay, does this mean I should go back to grad school, assuming I could find a program I 1) want to apply to 2) would thrive in 3) be accepted to? I struggled as an undergrad, I mean I really did. I don't do the whole "school" game very well, and I never have. I like learning, though. And I like writing, and researching. And I like knowing things. I really, really like knowing things.
It could be that I'm somewhat daunted by the idea of facing the Employment Application Process again, since my job ceases to be full time within a few months, on top of the fact that I need to somehow provide benefits for this new little branch of the Bell family. Or even just money to buy insurance from an independent company, if necessary. Of course that undertaking has something to do with it, but I really think most of it has to do with being surrounded by the academic atmosphere and participating in a learning process.
As I look for jobs, ideally I want to land in a school setting, even if it's just in administration. I loved working at IHS and so many years at BYU. I like being around people who are smart and who are committed to learning (even if they aren't, as in my case, entirely committed to getting straight A's). I like it.
I've never not had a First Day of School in September before. That is weird. I'm not going to have a First Day of School next week. What am I possibly going to do with myself?!!
I'll probably just dig out my British Literature Norton Anthologies and skim through all the notes I made in the margins to prove to myself that I'm smart and that I actually liked school a lot a lot a lot, even just in hindsight. That'll show me.
21 August 2009
it is here
Please note the time line on my cyber paper chain.
0 days left.
-------------------------------------------->
Let's go get married, everybody!
0 days left.
-------------------------------------------->
Let's go get married, everybody!
20 August 2009
the big day
So I'm getting married in the morning.
What exactly can I possibly say about it other than, I'm getting married in the morning.
I've got the fourth of five loads of laundry going (we got new sheets. Don't worry, I don't let all my laundry pile up so much that I really have five full loads to do at once. [Okay I admit, it's been known to happen in the past. I've grown up.]) and I'm sitting here drinking a Diet Coke at 8:15am (surprise?). I made the rest of the hair pretties for my my bride girls and I think they're the most darling. I almost want to keep one for myself except that doi, I've got the actual veil-poof upon which these little baby ones are based. I've got all the pictures and frames set to put on the tables for the reception, and they're packed in a box to take over in a few hours. I finished the reception playlist, put it on the iPod, and I've got little iPod charging so it'll last a few hours tomorrow. I'll also bring the charger with me, just in case.
(On an entirely unrelated note, I need to remark on the number of "teensy baby" items I own that are quite small/darling. I've got this tiny little Acer laptop that frustrates Ames because his hands are too big, though even he can admit how convenient it is. There's teensy baby iPod, teensy baby hair pretties, I'd have a teensy baby Toyota Yaris if I could justify it. I wonder what inspires my love of teensy baby-sized things? Certainly not my physique!)
I have a few more things to get-- some dark red ribbon, a few various cosmetic items, a few Thank You presents. I really do need to pack, for California and also for tonight/tomorrow since I'll be changing my clothes 800 times but I also don't want to overpack so my parents will have to bring back a billion things that will otherwise just sit in my room at home. My room is essentially just a loading area for all the rest of the stuff I've accumulated all my life that somehow I've got to go through, keep or get rid of it, and then find an appropriate place to store in my little nest here in Orem. Busy, busy, busy but none of it really seems to matter because--
I'm getting married in the morning.
I'm not sure how a bride is supposed to feel. All the brides on those crazy wedding shows on TV are always freaking out, or crying, or shaking their hands a lot as they freak out or try not to cry, and they're always really nervous, but I'm not any of those things. I don't have cold feet, I don't even have one single cold toe, and maybe it's because I'm just ridiculously secure, or because I've had ample amount of time to adjust to the idea of being married, or because I've got the kindest, sweetest, most attractive fiance in the whole world, or maybe because I'm just so confident in the fact that I'm marrying the right person, at the right time, by the right authority. Maybe I'm not nervous for all of those reasons.
Our marriage will be solomnized in the Salt Lake Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Ames's grandpa, in the presence of some of our closest family and friends. We will be sealed together and create a new family link in a big, long, eternal chain of families, and we will be together, quite literally, forever. I can't imagine anything I could possibly want more. It's what I've been taught all my life, it's what I've always looked forward to and expected of myself, and of my future husband, and now that it's here, it's exactly right.
I'm not nervous because I'm calm and I'm happy, and my insides are jumbly a little bit but they haven't not been jumbly since that time that Ames danced with me on New Year's, so I know it's just my spirit getting all kinds of excited about him and us and us together. I'm so glad Ames wants to marry me. I'm so glad that he trusts me enough to want to marry me, and that I trust him enough to want to marry him, and that we will be married and filled with trust and marriage and love. I'm so glad I've prepared myself for this day, and for him, and for our new Bell family.
We'll go get married tomorrow, and I'll wear my short dress and off-white shoes and veil-poof, and he'll wear his textured ivory tux coat with the black collar and shiny new shoes, and our families will be there, and our friends will smile, and so will we, and then we'll go eat some cake and have a really great party about it, all because Ames loves me.
That's pretty neat, I think.
What exactly can I possibly say about it other than, I'm getting married in the morning.
I've got the fourth of five loads of laundry going (we got new sheets. Don't worry, I don't let all my laundry pile up so much that I really have five full loads to do at once. [Okay I admit, it's been known to happen in the past. I've grown up.]) and I'm sitting here drinking a Diet Coke at 8:15am (surprise?). I made the rest of the hair pretties for my my bride girls and I think they're the most darling. I almost want to keep one for myself except that doi, I've got the actual veil-poof upon which these little baby ones are based. I've got all the pictures and frames set to put on the tables for the reception, and they're packed in a box to take over in a few hours. I finished the reception playlist, put it on the iPod, and I've got little iPod charging so it'll last a few hours tomorrow. I'll also bring the charger with me, just in case.
(On an entirely unrelated note, I need to remark on the number of "teensy baby" items I own that are quite small/darling. I've got this tiny little Acer laptop that frustrates Ames because his hands are too big, though even he can admit how convenient it is. There's teensy baby iPod, teensy baby hair pretties, I'd have a teensy baby Toyota Yaris if I could justify it. I wonder what inspires my love of teensy baby-sized things? Certainly not my physique!)
I have a few more things to get-- some dark red ribbon, a few various cosmetic items, a few Thank You presents. I really do need to pack, for California and also for tonight/tomorrow since I'll be changing my clothes 800 times but I also don't want to overpack so my parents will have to bring back a billion things that will otherwise just sit in my room at home. My room is essentially just a loading area for all the rest of the stuff I've accumulated all my life that somehow I've got to go through, keep or get rid of it, and then find an appropriate place to store in my little nest here in Orem. Busy, busy, busy but none of it really seems to matter because--
I'm getting married in the morning.
I'm not sure how a bride is supposed to feel. All the brides on those crazy wedding shows on TV are always freaking out, or crying, or shaking their hands a lot as they freak out or try not to cry, and they're always really nervous, but I'm not any of those things. I don't have cold feet, I don't even have one single cold toe, and maybe it's because I'm just ridiculously secure, or because I've had ample amount of time to adjust to the idea of being married, or because I've got the kindest, sweetest, most attractive fiance in the whole world, or maybe because I'm just so confident in the fact that I'm marrying the right person, at the right time, by the right authority. Maybe I'm not nervous for all of those reasons.
Our marriage will be solomnized in the Salt Lake Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Ames's grandpa, in the presence of some of our closest family and friends. We will be sealed together and create a new family link in a big, long, eternal chain of families, and we will be together, quite literally, forever. I can't imagine anything I could possibly want more. It's what I've been taught all my life, it's what I've always looked forward to and expected of myself, and of my future husband, and now that it's here, it's exactly right.
I'm not nervous because I'm calm and I'm happy, and my insides are jumbly a little bit but they haven't not been jumbly since that time that Ames danced with me on New Year's, so I know it's just my spirit getting all kinds of excited about him and us and us together. I'm so glad Ames wants to marry me. I'm so glad that he trusts me enough to want to marry me, and that I trust him enough to want to marry him, and that we will be married and filled with trust and marriage and love. I'm so glad I've prepared myself for this day, and for him, and for our new Bell family.
We'll go get married tomorrow, and I'll wear my short dress and off-white shoes and veil-poof, and he'll wear his textured ivory tux coat with the black collar and shiny new shoes, and our families will be there, and our friends will smile, and so will we, and then we'll go eat some cake and have a really great party about it, all because Ames loves me.
That's pretty neat, I think.
13 August 2009
poster kid for frozen dinners
Do you know what I love?
Well, yes, I love Ames, but that's not what I was going to say (because it goes without saying). What I was going to say is, I love Lean Cuisine.
I mean, let's be real-- I love food. I want to eat food for the rest of my life, every single day. My love of food is the reason why I will not be a size 4 bride, and I'm pretty okay about that, please and thank you.
The problem is that I sit at a desk almost all day and then at night, I do things like sit on the floor and organize pictures for my wedding reception, or sit on the couch and paint my toenails, or sit in a chair and fold laundry, or sit sit sit and write addresses on envelopes. Furthermore, I work at a water park where cheeseburgers and seasoned fries abound. They are delicious (mostly) but not so great for my midsection. Sitting + food = dough stomach.
So about a month ago I started bringing frozen dinners to eat for lunch at work, specifically Lean Cuisine. Let me tell you something-- they are delicious, and filling, and satisfying. I never feel like a sick-nasty bloat face after a delicious Pasta Primavera with broccoli and bowtie pasta (the best kind). Everyone is always jealous of how delicious my Roasted Garlic Pizza smells when I cook it up in the microwave, and it's not even greasy like the pizzas from the park. And sometimes, my Roasted Chicken even has a little serving of apple crisp on the side! I defy any of you to find delectable apple crisp as the end to any meal offered at an amusement park.
Sometimes, if you go to Target at just the right time, you can get 5 Lean Cuisine meals for just $9! So not only are they a taste treat, they're a good financial choice. And if you can beleive it, they're only 5 or 6 points with Weight Watchers, so you can go right ahead and have that ice cream cone later and you won't even exceed your allotted points. I haven't changed my daily sit-on-my-A routine one single bit, and I've lost 4 pounds!
And let's be real-- for a girl like me who can but doesn't really cook, and I have a real hard time caring enough to make a bagged lunch, it's the perfect option, especially since I'm super handy with a microwave (at least for lunch. Don't worry everyone, I'll be a good wife and make dinner for Ames). Is there anything not to love about Lean Cuisine, which comes in wide variety of options to satisfy every taste?!!
I submit that there is not.
Well, yes, I love Ames, but that's not what I was going to say (because it goes without saying). What I was going to say is, I love Lean Cuisine.
I mean, let's be real-- I love food. I want to eat food for the rest of my life, every single day. My love of food is the reason why I will not be a size 4 bride, and I'm pretty okay about that, please and thank you.
The problem is that I sit at a desk almost all day and then at night, I do things like sit on the floor and organize pictures for my wedding reception, or sit on the couch and paint my toenails, or sit in a chair and fold laundry, or sit sit sit and write addresses on envelopes. Furthermore, I work at a water park where cheeseburgers and seasoned fries abound. They are delicious (mostly) but not so great for my midsection. Sitting + food = dough stomach.
So about a month ago I started bringing frozen dinners to eat for lunch at work, specifically Lean Cuisine. Let me tell you something-- they are delicious, and filling, and satisfying. I never feel like a sick-nasty bloat face after a delicious Pasta Primavera with broccoli and bowtie pasta (the best kind). Everyone is always jealous of how delicious my Roasted Garlic Pizza smells when I cook it up in the microwave, and it's not even greasy like the pizzas from the park. And sometimes, my Roasted Chicken even has a little serving of apple crisp on the side! I defy any of you to find delectable apple crisp as the end to any meal offered at an amusement park.
Sometimes, if you go to Target at just the right time, you can get 5 Lean Cuisine meals for just $9! So not only are they a taste treat, they're a good financial choice. And if you can beleive it, they're only 5 or 6 points with Weight Watchers, so you can go right ahead and have that ice cream cone later and you won't even exceed your allotted points. I haven't changed my daily sit-on-my-A routine one single bit, and I've lost 4 pounds!
And let's be real-- for a girl like me who can but doesn't really cook, and I have a real hard time caring enough to make a bagged lunch, it's the perfect option, especially since I'm super handy with a microwave (at least for lunch. Don't worry everyone, I'll be a good wife and make dinner for Ames). Is there anything not to love about Lean Cuisine, which comes in wide variety of options to satisfy every taste?!!
I submit that there is not.
07 August 2009
i like names
So now that it's 12:03AM, I can officially say I'm getting married in two weeks-- two weeks from this very day. I did that girl thing yesterday where I practiced signing "Emily Bell," only this time, it's completely legit because it's almost my name. I bet you're all wondering what I'm going to do about my name, aren't you? Like, sometimes girls keep their middle name and just change their last name. Or like my mom, their maiden name becomes their middle name and they kind of just forget their middle name all together? Well here's the answer to the question: Emily Llewellyn Dabczynski Bell. Kind of a mouthful, lots of Ls, but I'd be heartbroken to give up my crazy middle and maiden name, so there you have it.
Note: in two weeks, I will have a maiden name.
It's kind of a bit of an identity crisis for me, I'm not even going to lie to you. Believe me, it's a crisis I'm more than happy to have, and in general, it's a pretty gleeful crisis. I've kind of been eased into the Emily Bell thing since I've had various combinations of names on all of my various email and software accounts at work. Really it's just made it more appealing. EmilyBellEmilyBellEmilyBell. Say it a few times, just for kicks, everybody.
But really-- what am I going to do when people don't make faces or question my name anymore? I went to the mall tonight for a few items. The only clerk who didn't comment or ask about Dabczynski was the girl at Bath & Body Works because I paid with cash (something tells me she wouldn't have asked anyway-- too many letters would probably confuse her to think about it for very long). The one clerk was Bulgarian and pronounced it no problem. Bethany at Argento was practically my BFF by the time I left-- she knew all about the wedding and plans and loved my engagement ring and she was wearing a really super cute top-- and was so delighted by my last name that she repeated it five or six times right in a row. Dabczynski Dabczynski Dabczynski Dabczynski Dabczynski. Dabczynski.
Note: it's really difficult to type Dabczynski very quickly and accurately. My fingers don't move real well over all those funny letters in a row. Try it. You know, for kicks. Dabczynski.
Did you know that I spelled Dabczynski incorrectly on my high school senior portfolio, and I didn't even notice for almost two years? It's true. On the spine of the binder, I made an insert that said my full name and it ended up saying Emily Llewellyn Dabczynksi. It's not even a big deal. Luckily, I feel like Blel will be an easy mistake to catch.
So okay, I'm just going to have four names on my social security card and probably my driver's license, but I'll only sign Emily Bell because that's easiest. But here's the most important question of all:
How do I update facebook?
If I just change it to Emily Bell, then half of my friends list who doesn't know me any better than I know them will forget who I am, and I run the risk of losing friends. Clearly, this is something I do not want. I mean, CLEARLY. But Emily Dabczynski Bell makes a change almost redundant because people chatting with me can't even see all of Dabczynski, muchless Dabczynski Bell in full. Decisions!
I sure like that Ames Bell the very most of all in the whole world. I'm glad he's going to share his last name with me. I think that is very nice of him.
Note: in two weeks, I will have a maiden name.
It's kind of a bit of an identity crisis for me, I'm not even going to lie to you. Believe me, it's a crisis I'm more than happy to have, and in general, it's a pretty gleeful crisis. I've kind of been eased into the Emily Bell thing since I've had various combinations of names on all of my various email and software accounts at work. Really it's just made it more appealing. EmilyBellEmilyBellEmilyBell. Say it a few times, just for kicks, everybody.
But really-- what am I going to do when people don't make faces or question my name anymore? I went to the mall tonight for a few items. The only clerk who didn't comment or ask about Dabczynski was the girl at Bath & Body Works because I paid with cash (something tells me she wouldn't have asked anyway-- too many letters would probably confuse her to think about it for very long). The one clerk was Bulgarian and pronounced it no problem. Bethany at Argento was practically my BFF by the time I left-- she knew all about the wedding and plans and loved my engagement ring and she was wearing a really super cute top-- and was so delighted by my last name that she repeated it five or six times right in a row. Dabczynski Dabczynski Dabczynski Dabczynski Dabczynski. Dabczynski.
Note: it's really difficult to type Dabczynski very quickly and accurately. My fingers don't move real well over all those funny letters in a row. Try it. You know, for kicks. Dabczynski.
Did you know that I spelled Dabczynski incorrectly on my high school senior portfolio, and I didn't even notice for almost two years? It's true. On the spine of the binder, I made an insert that said my full name and it ended up saying Emily Llewellyn Dabczynksi. It's not even a big deal. Luckily, I feel like Blel will be an easy mistake to catch.
So okay, I'm just going to have four names on my social security card and probably my driver's license, but I'll only sign Emily Bell because that's easiest. But here's the most important question of all:
How do I update facebook?
If I just change it to Emily Bell, then half of my friends list who doesn't know me any better than I know them will forget who I am, and I run the risk of losing friends. Clearly, this is something I do not want. I mean, CLEARLY. But Emily Dabczynski Bell makes a change almost redundant because people chatting with me can't even see all of Dabczynski, muchless Dabczynski Bell in full. Decisions!
I sure like that Ames Bell the very most of all in the whole world. I'm glad he's going to share his last name with me. I think that is very nice of him.
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