the big day

So I'm getting married in the morning.

What exactly can I possibly say about it other than, I'm getting married in the morning.

I've got the fourth of five loads of laundry going (we got new sheets. Don't worry, I don't let all my laundry pile up so much that I really have five full loads to do at once. [Okay I admit, it's been known to happen in the past. I've grown up.]) and I'm sitting here drinking a Diet Coke at 8:15am (surprise?). I made the rest of the hair pretties for my my bride girls and I think they're the most darling. I almost want to keep one for myself except that doi, I've got the actual veil-poof upon which these little baby ones are based. I've got all the pictures and frames set to put on the tables for the reception, and they're packed in a box to take over in a few hours. I finished the reception playlist, put it on the iPod, and I've got little iPod charging so it'll last a few hours tomorrow. I'll also bring the charger with me, just in case.

(On an entirely unrelated note, I need to remark on the number of "teensy baby" items I own that are quite small/darling. I've got this tiny little Acer laptop that frustrates Ames because his hands are too big, though even he can admit how convenient it is. There's teensy baby iPod, teensy baby hair pretties, I'd have a teensy baby Toyota Yaris if I could justify it. I wonder what inspires my love of teensy baby-sized things? Certainly not my physique!)

I have a few more things to get-- some dark red ribbon, a few various cosmetic items, a few Thank You presents. I really do need to pack, for California and also for tonight/tomorrow since I'll be changing my clothes 800 times but I also don't want to overpack so my parents will have to bring back a billion things that will otherwise just sit in my room at home. My room is essentially just a loading area for all the rest of the stuff I've accumulated all my life that somehow I've got to go through, keep or get rid of it, and then find an appropriate place to store in my little nest here in Orem. Busy, busy, busy but none of it really seems to matter because--

I'm getting married in the morning.

I'm not sure how a bride is supposed to feel. All the brides on those crazy wedding shows on TV are always freaking out, or crying, or shaking their hands a lot as they freak out or try not to cry, and they're always really nervous, but I'm not any of those things. I don't have cold feet, I don't even have one single cold toe, and maybe it's because I'm just ridiculously secure, or because I've had ample amount of time to adjust to the idea of being married, or because I've got the kindest, sweetest, most attractive fiance in the whole world, or maybe because I'm just so confident in the fact that I'm marrying the right person, at the right time, by the right authority. Maybe I'm not nervous for all of those reasons.

Our marriage will be solomnized in the Salt Lake Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Ames's grandpa, in the presence of some of our closest family and friends. We will be sealed together and create a new family link in a big, long, eternal chain of families, and we will be together, quite literally, forever. I can't imagine anything I could possibly want more. It's what I've been taught all my life, it's what I've always looked forward to and expected of myself, and of my future husband, and now that it's here, it's exactly right.

I'm not nervous because I'm calm and I'm happy, and my insides are jumbly a little bit but they haven't not been jumbly since that time that Ames danced with me on New Year's, so I know it's just my spirit getting all kinds of excited about him and us and us together. I'm so glad Ames wants to marry me. I'm so glad that he trusts me enough to want to marry me, and that I trust him enough to want to marry him, and that we will be married and filled with trust and marriage and love. I'm so glad I've prepared myself for this day, and for him, and for our new Bell family.

We'll go get married tomorrow, and I'll wear my short dress and off-white shoes and veil-poof, and he'll wear his textured ivory tux coat with the black collar and shiny new shoes, and our families will be there, and our friends will smile, and so will we, and then we'll go eat some cake and have a really great party about it, all because Ames loves me.

That's pretty neat, I think.