i threw a party & nobody came

This was me last night:

A veritable Michael Scott, all alone at a party I tried to host for approximately 2,500 people-- only instead of cosmopolitans we had a vat of ranch dressing, and instead of techno dance music we had a yodeling sock puppet named Charlie.

. . . maybe I just figured out why no one came.

But the truth is that I've been working for weeks and weeks to put together an evening at our theatre to do a tap dance for educators, administrators, parents and students in the valley, promoting our educational outreach programs are worth consideration. Attendance at theatrical productions provides a well-rounded education for students of all ages, instills an appreciation for the arts, and not only enriches classroom curriculum, but directly fulfills state curriculum standards.

Can you tell I've been emailing and making phone calls about this for a while? And here I thought I sounded pretty convincing.

I mean, I get that people are busy, and I know some of my emails bounced. But the fact is: I had 25 people RSVP to me personally about this, and another 40 "confirmed guests" on the Facebook group. Taking into consideration the nature of Facebook confirmations, can someone explain to me how an estimated 30-40 guests dwindled into FOUR?

Yes, everyone. I invited 2,500 people to my party and 4 people came.

F-O-U-R.

It's funny how teachers are always so frustrated with flaky students who procrastinate and don't come to class on time-- classes they good money for, which the teacher has spent hours preparing.

Funny, right? HILARIOUS, RIGHT? And my event, complete with interesting workshop classes prepared, was free. Wouldn't have even cost those teachers/administrators/parents/students a single dime.

And the worst part is, it was a great evening! Between the other presenters and a handful of students from the department who were actually interested, it was a lovely event with a lot of interesting presentations about the 2010-2011 season, and lots of interesting ties to curriculum for all ages. I mean, we're even playing to the French speaking crowd by performing a new French farce performed in French. We're producing She Stoops to Conquer, guys. When was the last time a Restoration comedy was performed at a theatre near you, which you could take your AP English students to see? And with the study guides we prepare that include interesting articles, notes from production staff, crossword puzzles and other games, and links to curriculum, we do all the work for you!

And there was a yodeling sock puppet named Charlie puppeted by an internationally recognized puppeteer/ventriloquist/Elvis impersonator (this is not a lie). I tell you, the only thing that could possibly make it better is $200 worth of cheese and crackers, vegetables, fruit, and a mixed candy bowl.

Which was provided!!!

I wouldn't have expected much if we hadn't have had a successful season this past year. Between our school matinees selling well and the seemingly committed responses I received to my invitation to this year's event, there didn't seem to be much indication that it would fall so embarrassingly flat.

So I guess I should just stick to cool wedding receptions and attempting to channel parties featured in movies. People actually come to those. Maybe I could try to slap a theme onto the next one of these events I try to throw-- make it a costume party or whatever.

Problem solved?



I must acknowledge the lovely representatives from the department and students who helped put the night together, who support our programs and me. Means a lot. Doesn't go unrecognized.