Why I love my life/roommates

"You have really good veins in your hands. You'll make a really good old person."
--My roommate Valerie

Psychobilly Freakout

I'm lying on our loveseat, legs hanging on the over-sized armrest. My neck is uncomfortable on this little, unfeeling throw pillow. This loveseat reminds me a little bit of Steve's Thinking Chair on Blue's Clues-- though I guess Steve "went off to college," so now it's Joe's Thinking Chair. I'm trying to concentrate on this book-- A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius-- which I really like so far and highly recommend, but for whatever reason I can't seem to pull myself away from the computer. I'm checking my usual round of websites every, what? seven minutes, as if anyone new will pop on and say something to me.

So I have the ridiculous machine sitting on my lap so I don't have to adjust very much when I finish five pages of this book and decide it's time to make my rounds again. As if anything new will actually be there.

Eff eff eff eff eff eff eff eff effity eff eff eff eff. Fuh until eternity. I probably won't make it to Eternity for saying fuh. Sometimes I wish swearing came more naturally to me. I think there's probably nothing like a perfectly fitting curse word now and then, but my little swears are too cutesy. They're usually funny, regardless of how much fury or discontent is behind them. I have a lot of discontent behind them tonight. Not much fury. I have nothing to be furious over. But oh, I'm empassioned.

I wonder if my arm tossed carelessly over my face makes me look pathetic? No. Just tired. It's a tragedy when forced pathos is wasted on unappreciating and unobservant roommates.

What would it be like for him to kiss me? I wonder if he's the type that doesn't like mouth-kisses best. I don't know what kind of kisses I like best. I like all kisses best. Except when they're in front of a Halo tournament when you're 15-- those kinds of kisses can be remembered with a very awkward juxtaposing sense of nausea and nostalgia. My Halo Champion's mouth tasted like Winterfresh gum. My stomach turned a little bit when I tasted that gum in the weeks following that night.

But this one wouldn't stoop so low as to take advantage of my vulnerability during a Halo tournament. I can almost feel his perfectly, carefully unshaven chin in that specific place in my neck and it gives me a little thrill-- not in a dirty way. Or at least, not in a very dirty way. It would be much more thrilling in person, if he were here on the loveseat with me, pulling this silly computer off my lap so he could fold me into his arms and neck-kiss me, and ear-kiss me, and nose-kiss me-- and of course mouth-kiss me, even though it's not his favorite. There might even be a little sense of urgency because he literally doesn't know what else to do with himself, we're just so compatible. And I could smell his hair, and it would smell lightly of styling products. He wouldn't be wearing any kind of pretentious Man Scent like Axe because he's too good for that, too secure for that. And his mouth wouldn't taste like Winterfresh gum, such an obvious and presumptuous preparation for the moment. His mouth would taste distinctly like him, and there would be no way for me to convey what that tastes like.

Yes, maybe I do know a little what it would be like for him to kiss me.

I have half a mind to just get up and start walking down the street, reciting Lady Macbeth's soliloquies. Out damned spot, I will shriek as moronic girls jog by with their trendy iPods, listening to their trendy music, absolutely ignorant of the bad people that do indeed lurk in Provo, much to everyones' surprise. That's the beauty of this campus-- people allow other people to do pretty much whatever they want when it comes to crazies, and they just jog by with hardly a glance. I could scream To bed! To bed! To bed! all I want and no one would bother me about it. Somehow, though, I tend to doubt yelling lines of Shakespeare will change whatever it is I'm feeling.

I want adventure in the great, wide Somewhere. I want it more than I can tell.

What am I even doing with my life? I'm not excellent at anything. I'm mediocre at a lot of things. What have I been doing that I haven't thrown myself into something so important to me that it's difficult to breathe when I can't do that thing? They say being well rounded is a good thing. I want to know who "they" is so I can tell them "they" have another thing coming. Someday I will be the "they" that everyone refers to. Ha ha! What do you think about that?

Why.

WHY.

why Why WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

DEVIIIIIL!!!

*MAD FIST SHAKING and general unpleasentness*

BAH.

Snarl.


Thus concludes my post.

Ode to Quiet

I wrote this last night when I was lounging on Ashley's couch. It's true.

_____________________________

Amidst chaos, surrounded by the loud,

Abrasive, contentious, sharply trenchant

Self-int'rest of an egocentric crowd—

Marked by a crushing lack of sentient

Awareness regarding time, place, peopleaq

Who are subject to impending deadlines

Would rather ignore priv'leged tête-à-têtes,

Or suffer from short patience—I resign

To blood-boiling madness, long for simple

Peacefulness enjoyed in blessed Quiet.

Oh Quiet, where serenity abides!

Where composure thrives and efficiency

May reign! Capacity to think resides!

She inhabits a certain courtesy,

Absent in the oblivious nature

Of shrill laughter and screaming conversation

In confined spaces. Smiling countenance

Prevails, adhering to mindful conscience.

Sweet, dear Quiet—how I long to capture

Your stillness, your calm, your anti-tension…

Naming

Okay. So we're going to start our fiction unit in Creative Writing soon. Inevitably, we will have to create and name fictional characters. The nice thing about that process is that you can give your characters names that fit their personalities and traits, etc. The bad thing about the process is that I'm very creative or decisive about naming characters.

Maybe that's why I don't write fiction often.

Anyway, since these characters are my fictional children of sorts, I pose the question: how did you go about naming your non-fictional children? Is there a theme? Why one name over another? I've always been curious why a family of 10 all have names beginning with A or something. So yes-- what's the reasoning?

Hey Harry Potter

So I loveloveloved the song "Hey There Delilah" when it first came out. I thought it was so stinkin' cute. Also it reminded me of my friend Cameron. Quickly though, as the song gained general popularity to the point where Kelly Rippa even randomly brought it up with Regis, I lost interest.

This video has breathed new life in an otherwise over-played song. You're welcome.

Fun with WWII

Lately, the process of trying to learn German has been bogging me down. And by "lately" I mean "particularly last night." This makes it better.

Ah, Li-Lo.

Oh Lindsey. It's funny you love Utah so much and want to stick around. Here you are, leaving Happy Sumo at the Riverwoods-- you can see Tucanos in the background.

Hear that Ashley? Lindsey likes sushi too!

Merry Christmas

Enjoy. Especially O Come All Ye Faithful with the Mo Tabs.

Things I Recommend

It's October 2007 and I'm long overdue for a self-indulgent list of things I love and therefore recommend to other people. Take it or leave it.

1.) Pushing Daisies
My new favorite show, recommended to me by my good friend Jeremy. Sure, it only premiered the other night so I've only seen one episode, but it's delightful. It's kind of Tim Burton-y, kind of Series of Unfortunate Events. Definitely an unusual premise--a guy has the ability to bring back to life dead people with the touch of a finger to find out who killed them and then collect reward money. Also, it has Kristin Chenoweth. On ABC, Wednesdays 7pm (MST)

2.) My Little Pony Fruit Snacks

Delicious, sugary goodness without much nutritional value to speak of. Frankly they don't taste any better or worse than any other kind of waxy fruit snack, but these ones are shaped like My Little Ponies. Hellooooo supremacy. Also they're various shades of pink, purple, and bright green. Nah, there's nothing artificial about these babies!

3.) Maybelline Full 'N Soft mascara

Listen up, girls. Don't want to pay full price for Clinique mascara (which is the greatest mascara ever made, except that it's only worth it when you can manage to get a mini-tube in a sample pack because it's so needlessly expensive)? This is the ticket. Droopy, undefined, short-looking lashes? A few swipes with this stuff and POOF! Your eyes are transformed in but a moment! Seriously. Best stuff ever. Other than Clinique.

4.) Will & Grace on DVD
I. Love. This show. I mean, I've loved it for a while, let's be honest. But having it on DVD is a beautiful thing. Will & Grace whenever you're in need of Jack and Karen because duh, they're the greatest part of the show. I have a girl-crush on Megan Mullally. I wish I could be her. Anyway, it's the kind of show where you can watch just one episode if that's all you have time for because there isn't really a solid storyline from episode to episode. Also, there are so many random celebrity guest stars its inSANE. Examples: Cher, Madonna, Alec Baldwin, and J-Lo.

5.) Maybelline Pure Stay Foundation Powder
It may sound like I'm peddling Maybelline. I am. This stuff is seriously the greatest ever. It doesn't matter how crappy my skin looks, this stuff never fails to cover unseemly blemishes with utmost satisfaction. I usually like to use it after a little bit of liquid foundation, and it stays nice for hours. It's also extremely effective stage makeup because it covers so well and sets your make up, but it matches your skin so it's not ugly and orange. Seriously beautiful, you guys.

6.) Hilary Duff's perfume, With Love

It's my favorite since Britney Spears' Curious. Okay, so I have a thing for celebrity perfumes. Sue me. Well since I have a hard time spending money on a product that will contribute to a crazy woman's child support, I've found this an equally delightful oder. It's soooooo pretty, and relatively inexpensive. And much as I personally don't care for Hil's singing voice, I've got to respect the girl for how hard she works. This girl cares about her career, man. Sure, I'll buy your silly perfume which you had nothing to do with except funding the bill and taking a few wiffs of a few options before picking one. And it comes in a pretty bottle. You can't beat that.

7.) Across the Universe deluxe 2-disk soundtrack

Seriously. Spend the extra $2 and get the 31-track version of this album. It includes every song sung in the movie, including the credits. It's a beautiful film, and the arrangements of such classic songs is truly a tribute to The Beatles. I think Paul and John are/would be very pleased with the final result. Plus, Jim Sturgess and Joe Anderson have dishy voices. Bono also stars as The Walrus. I always knew Bono was The Walrus.



8.) The Devil in the White City

I can't remember if I gushed about this book when I was reading it this summer, so I'll gush now. I kind of missed the memo when this book came out, but I was rereading parts of it recently. This is one kick-ah non-fiction. It proves that non-fiction does not have to be some dry, boring book that your grandpa reads-- it's a truly gripping, page-turning murder mystery about the Chicago World's Fair. This is a seriously interesting read. Did you know the Ferris Wheel was invented specifically for this World's Fair? Also, shredded wheat was introduced there. AND there's a connection to Titanic. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.

9.) Mary Jane Crocs

I've been a big fan of Crocs for about 3.5 years now. My sister and I joke that we were the ones who brought the fad to Utah because everyone thought they were so WEIRD when we brought them home from Maine that summer. Admittedly, who knew foamy, plastic shoes would be so popular in the end? Personally, I don't mind the clogs. I don't think they that ugly. BUT. Now they make them in a Mary Jane style. They're seriously adorable, with all the comforts of the original. You can get them in colors, though not so outragous. Personally, I recommend black, chocolate, and raspberry colored ones.

10.) Sweeney Todd

I know at least a few of my readers are already pumped for this movie. It's one of my favorite musicals (is that weird??) to begin with, but pair Sondheim with Elfman, Burton, Depp and Rickman, and you've got a cult classic in the making. I'm a little worried it's aesthetic value might be taken for granted by all the Depp teenyboppers out there. What's funny is I anticipate most of them will go into the movie with no idea what it's about and be sorely surprised. ANYWAY, I feel especially obligated to present you with the latest news-- the first movie trailer. Enjoy. I surely, surely did.

Autumn Time!

Kids, it's officially autumn! I know, the tides or whatever decided autumn began on September 22, but for me, it came tonight.

Autumn can and does not begin until the first sip of real apple cider is sipped.

I bought myself a gallon at Wal-Mart tonight. Ironically, Wal-Mart is the only place I've found real apple cider in Utah (in a grocery store setting).

So rejoice! Jump in a pile of leaves! Pile blankets on the bed and snuggle into a sweater. Fall is here!