inevitability

Do you ever think that sometimes some things will just inevitably disagree? Like, that stereotypical as it is, cats and dogs will always misunderstand like, well, cats and dogs?

We've been babysitting my parents' dog Sprout this week while they're in Alaska (in the dead of winter, of course-- because when else would you go to Alaska? I kid, I think it's awesome). Sprout and our cats have been mostly steering clear of each other, until last night when Trevor just got a little too close so Sprout barked which sent Trevor going SHOOM! across the living room, and then (surprise of surprises) Lucille 2 came to Trevor's defense making the most strange meowing noises and looking like she was just going to rip Sprout's face off-- which is weird because usually Lucille 2 and Trevor themselves seem kind of at odds. At any rate, the cats and Sprout were mistrustful of each other from the start and it came to a head last night, which I guess was inevitable if the stereotype is at all true-- which it is apparently, as proved last night.

But like, as I continue to sally forth through this unknown land of unemployment, I'm starting to wonder if I'm living in some kind of inevitable disagreement. I like the flexibility of my schedule and not having to get up early in the morning, but the financial situation isn't ideal, to say the least. I actually cook dinner for us most days, but still haven't gotten the hang of keeping the rest of the house as tidy as I know I can/should. I have all the time in the world to go to the gym and have the body I've always wanted, but since I have the time to put it off, I sometimes do. It's like all the different parts of me just disagree.

And what's weird is that the cats-- especially Lucille 2-- observe my loyalty to Sprout the dog which makes them mistrust me too. Moments after petting Sprout, I tried to snuggle Lucille 2 and she would not have it!

Rather like the dozens of interviews I've had. They all know I'm in the job market. They all know I'm not looking for a new job but rather a job, and sometimes they even (politely) call me out on it. My interviews have been really pretty successful. I'm lucky to have even been called in as frequently as I have been-- but my lot seems to be perpetually second choice. Again with the disagreement: an impressive background and resume but not the "right fit."

In a lot of ways, that's okay. As I consider it, I think I'd rather wait to be the "right fit" at the right job than to be an "okay fit" in a job I'm not crazy for. And yet, I look at our dwindling bank account and wonder if the balance is just inevitably unattainable.

Maybe that's one of the things I'm supposed to be learning during this time. Maybe the balance is the imbalance? In every season and whatever? Because for as much as I've babied Sprout this week, I'm in turn inclined to bribe my cats with treats, which means there's mutual payoff for the misunderstanding between the species. There's a silver lining to the seeming imbalance.

Of course it's probably one of those things I won't recognize for years and years.

But I guess by then it'll be an appropriate anecdote to share in my memoirs.

See-- I'm already getting the hang of this inevitable duality.