2009 Acknowledgment Awards

Truth: I didn't actually watch the Oscars this year.

Truth: I didn't actually really care.

Truth: The word/name "Oscar" always reminds me of the Russian guy who lived at the boarding house on Hey Arnold! who learns to read in that one episode aptly titled "Oscar Can't Read."
When the nominees were announced a while back, I was one of the many who raised my eyebrow for a quick sec about Sandra Bullock who, while darling and perky and endlessly kooky, hasn't ever struck me as an Oscar-winning actress. This is how I felt about Eddie Murphy's nomination for Dream Girls, who really was just great but it was unexpected, however convincing he is as a woman in Norbit*.

That said, though I admittedly have yet to see The Blind Side, I've only heard positive things about Sandra, and I guess it really is about the individual performance, not about recognizing the entire body of work. She even said,

"I didn't aspire to this. I was in awe of it. I admired it. I got to watch it like everyone else did, or present, but it wasn't something that I said, 'One day when I get the Oscar.' Don't aspire to be in these shoes. Walk in your own," she said. "Everyone's unique, and that's what makes people exciting to watch, I think. So, just savor what you are and not what everyone else wants you to be."

And she looked way classier than Oscar from Hey Arnold!
No comparison, really.

But because Sandra is an inspiration, I'd like to recognize performances of 2009 who may not have expected an Oscar but really do deserve a hearty thumbs-up.

The 2009 Acknowledgment Awards

Best Chronic Hair Tuck Behind the Ears:
Kristen Stewart in New Moon, Adventureland, and real life.

Note how she never breaks character. EVAR.

Best Product Placement:
Kristen Wiig in Whip It

"You can never have too much eyeliner or Lash Blast."

Most Potentially Faith-Promoting Performance by an Actual Atheist:
Ricky Gervais in The Invention of Lying

Most Endearing Moment of Unintended Douchebaggery:
Zach Efron in 17 Again

Best Tribute to George-Michael Bluth:
Michael Cera in Year One, or everything he's ever done.
Best Gross Tattoo Coverage:
Megan Fox in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Most Hardcore Cliff Jump in His Nudiepants:
Hugh Jackman in X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Best Performance of Beyonce's Single Ladies:
Brittany and the Chippettes in Alvin and the Chipmucks: The Squeakquel

Best/Twistiest The-Good-Guy-Is-Actually-Bad! Actor,
who is also a priest and a pilot:
Ewan McGregor in Angels & Demons
Least Appealing Film with the Least Appealing Title:
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
Most Accurate Portrayal of a Historical Figure:
Bill Hader as General Custer in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

Most Convincing Portrayal of a Double-Life:
Best Stage Name:
Best Wig:
Miley Cyrus in Hannah Montana The Movie
Best Adaptation of A Christmas Carol:
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

*I never actually saw Norbit.