I'm back to work after a few days of spring break. It was a good four-day weekend. I mean, we didn't hit Cabo or anything, but we did see some good friends, watched some movies, bought Will & Grace season 6 (WOO WOO WOO!), saw Reefer Madness in Park City (review pending), and slept in a lot.
7am comes especially early after a day of sitting around eating blueberry pancakes and watching Bright Star.
But okay, so here I am. The voicemail light on my phone is going blink blink blink and it's creeping me out. I'm actually afraid to check my voice messages. I have this problem with checking my email, too. I worked up the gumption to open my work email a few minutes ago, but I did-- I had to work up to it. I read a few blogs, organized a few piles on my desk...
Is it normal to have a fear of doing work? This used to happen to me all the time during college, though I think that fear stemmed from the fact that I was a bad student and I feared to check my email because what if a disgruntled teacher emailed me to say I was failing and don't even bother come back to class? Communication with professors and my parents and Zions Bank equates responsibility, and sometimes I just can't handle it, okay?
My work email was kind of boring actually, when I finally came to opening it. We have a new dean in the School of the Arts. There's someone interested in attending our Educators Evening. There were a few "UV You Need to Know" messages. Nothing scary. I'm sure I'll get a message from my boss before she comes in, but that's fine, mostly.
But here's that voicemail light blinking! I have a problem with my personal voicemail too. It's ridiculous but really, after being an irresponsible person for so long, I'm even hesitant to check voicemails from my parents. I don't want to be told I a) have done something wrong b) need to take care of it. Not that any voicemails left for me at work are indications that I've done anything wrong. I think it's just a widespread fear of the phone, actually. It's ironic, since I've got such a "pleasant phone voice" that I even list it on my resume. My own sister doesn't even recognize my phone voice sometimes. But really, I always prefer to let phone calls go to voicemail rather than picking up the phone, even though that means I have to check the voicemail later and then, fear of fears, call a person back. This is why I'm so handy with the text messaging and the email.
Ironically I've also got an increasing fear of writing and got all freezy in my brain yesterday when I was trying to write a review, so who knows how long my handy with the text messaging and the email will last, really.
Okay.
Here I go.
What's the big deal? I've got a college degree. I'm a big grown-up girl with a husband. I have my own life insurance policy. I got this job because I can do awesome things like check my voicemail.
1-2-3 go.
Messages (4)
1. From department secretary--left Tuesday 3/16. This message is obsolete. Good.
2. From student internship coordinator-- left Tuesday 3/16. This message is information I subsequently found out on my own. Deleted.
3. From student employment coordinator-- left Wednesday 3/17. Wants to reschedule a meeting. Good. Easy breezy.
4. From student internship assistant-- left 3/18. If I have questions for student internship coordinator, I should call her. But I don't even need to!
I did it, guys.
But I'd still appreciate it if someone with any insight to psychology could explain to me this irrational fear of the phone and sometimes email? Please? It weirds me out.
2 comments:
Now, having not seen you in person in about a bazillion years, take this not as a diagnosis or a "this is definitely you!", just some food for thought.
On the continuum of introversion to extroversion, I personally fall on the introverted side, though somewhat toward the middle, and I've done some reading on just what means. Introverts tend to recharge their energy internally and find peace in solitude, whereas extroverts gather their energy by being around others. Neither are good or bad, they just are. A specific tendency for introverts is that they don't do well with interruptions and having to think on their feet about something they weren't already thinking about. The phone is one of the biggest interruptors and causes of that kind of thinking. If you answer the phone call right away, you're expected to have an answer right away, and if you were working on Project A, but the person on the phone wants to discuss Project B, you may not be ready for that and feel, not ashamed, but not your best if you don't have the necessary answers at that moment. It can be draining. So, to have the ability to answer any daily interruptions - phone, email, text, etc. - at your discretion is actually a powerful tool of the introvert. Or, if you're not an introvert, one of your more introverted tendencies, because, as I mentioned, it IS a continuum and very rarely are people always one or the other. It's perfectly normal for people to choose, if they have the option, not to answer their phone/email right away, even turning the ringer off, and then set 15 minutes aside at some point to listen/read and respond. If you're afraid of missing something urgent, you can always mention that in your voicemail greeting "Hi this Emily, I am unavailable to answer calls at this moment, but please leave a message and I will get back to you soon. If this is urgent, please send me an email/text to notify me more immediately." or however you want people to do that.
Not want to make phone calls is related to not wanting to receive them, since you know it interrupts you so much, you don't want to bother anyone else.
So, that's the basic gist of it. Or at least one possibility. It's not so rare really. Let me know if that make sense (or not), or if you want recommendations for further reading on the subject. :)
You are not alone!
I'm the same exact way. Oh, here's a notification for money due to BYU in my e-mail? No checkie. Voicemail about financial aid for my up-coming study abroad from my mother? No checkie.
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