The Snobbish Londoner

Well I've been here a little over a week. I've seen more London sites than I ever thought I could stuff into seven days, I've stopped taking pictures of every teeny thing I see, and I've accumulated some essential clothing items that help me to blend a little better. Obviously, you know what this means, right?

It obviously means I'm not an obvious tourist anymore.

Obviously.

You'd all kill me if you saw how trendy I look since we went to Camden Market and have visited H&M-- how London Boho Chic I am (ha). My week in London has altered my fashion, but I've also started to pick up/emulate some cultural idiosyncrasies. For these reasons: I'm starting to understand why locals hate tourists.

Pour example, I've noticed some theater etiquette in England that is slightly different from America. At least during the shows we have seen, it is understood that the audience does not clap between every single scene. You must wait until there is a blatant change in tone, or the music doesn't plow straight on, or at very least, if there is a hold in the pacing. We must be a selfish lot, us American theater actors, because if there's no applause then we feel like failures, but I've also noticed that the British make up for it by taking forever for curtain call. The actors bow and bow and bow forever, but the audience does not let them bow in silence. Curtain calls are as long as the audience will applaud, and they applaud for a very long time-- almost like they've added together all the times they didn't applaud throughout the show and are making up for lost time.

Not surprisingly, I feel uncomfortable and a little embarrassed when a somewhat inappropriate attempt to applaud during scene changes is made. Who knew my already snobbish expectations at the theater could raise even higher?

Getting about the city is another example. Being raised back East, and by parents who taught me well, I'm typically of the opinion that you get from point A to point B as assertively as possible. This is not to say I don't enjoy a stroll, because I certainly do. But if you are walking down a very busy sidewalk, or navigating a Tube station, there is not much room for hesitation. You must always be self-aware, and that means being aware of everyone else around you. Now that I know the rules, and have put them into practice many times a day, I glare at people who don't stand to the right of the escalator in the Tube. Hello? Can you not read the sign so clearly placed that says "STAND RIGHT"?

As for strolling down the sidewalk, well, I basically feel like strolling should be reserved for empty sidewalks, parks, and for people who are not around other people who might have places to go and are thus inhibiting the other people's ability to get there in a timely manner.

Museum etiquette is also a sensitive subject at this point. If you notice someone standing a few steps back from a plaque or an exhibit, this does not mean that person is just standing in the middle of the walkway-- it means they are (in many cases, I am) taking the time to explore it and don't want to get in the way of anyone else. Therefore, planting yourself between that person and the interesting exhibit in question is not appropriate.

In all situations, it is imperitive that you keep hold of your children. At all times. Even if they need a leash. Especially if they need a leash.