all I need to know i learned at target

There are few things more satisfying than pushing around a shopping cart at Target with one hand and a wrist, because the other hand has a warm, salty soft pretzel in it and there's a Diet Coke resting on the child's seat. It's a smallish cup for a proper Diet Coke, but I guess that's the point of the refills. The more refills you go back for, the more times you walk by the hair products and all-natural bath products and children's clothes and makeup and Oreos and holiday-themed foods (ie. ingredients for green bean casserole) so you find yourself purchasing $70 worth of items in exchange for the Diet Coke.

Potentially worth it, depending on how many refills you get. (In my case, just the two so I averaged only about $15 worth of P.O.Ps).

It's a privileged experience I had, padding around in an oversized sweater (bought at Target) and cut-off shorts (also Target), my feet rattling around in too-big slipper-boots I bought years ago instead of Uggs (Target brand, $19) and my hair escaping from a wrap headband with cats on it-- no work today, no children to tend to, no appointments to meet.

Just me, my soft pretzel/Diet Coke combo $3.49, and the crown jewel of department stores, in my estimation.

I came with a specific mission: to get that soft pretzel and then reclaim my life.

If you think that's a tall order for a visit to Target, you clearly haven't allowed Target to do its job. Breathe. Let it happen. Get some popcorn and wander for an hour or three. Find some leggings that have leopard faces or a YOU GO GLEN COCO t-shirt. Let it whisper to you the secrets of your soul.

Here's what I learned at Target today:

When debating between brand name or off-brand cleaning products, and the difference in price is only $0.39, I can buy the brand name because it's reputable and also-- I earn my own money. This Clorox toilet bowel cleaner has clout and it will save me from doing my second-least favorite chore so frequently. It is my toilet bowl and it is my $0.39.

Whenever I need to run into someone I know in public, it'll inevitably happen in the aisle between girls clothing and check-out. The people I meet are always the ones I need to see and they will tell me what I need to hear. Today, I got a giant VALIDATION stamp from one sassy hairdresser, and blew Chase Brown's mind when we were in the same place at the same time again. Amy Poehler believes in time travel-- these brief encounters make me believe too.

(Amy Poehler's book is brilliant and lovely and it is available at Target.)

I need to listen to my gut when I'm drawn to that $3 Christmas ornament. It'll bring me specific joy forever, especially if it's covered in sequins.

As a pet owner, it is my prerogative to weigh my litter box options and then purchase a more expensive brand that may be a better fit for my home that I live in and have to clean. Arm & Hammer BLOWS MY MIND. My third least favorite chore is little more than sandbox time (joke!) because I have the option and I get to choose and I am even rewarded with a $1.50 off coupon.

Polka dot bedsheets and a pillow top mattress pad may do more to make a person (me) feel more like herself (myself) than almost any change to appearance, wardrobe or circumstance. My bed cloud is my oasis. It's OK to invest in things that celebrate that.

I left smiling and empowered. I made specific choices. I am energized and excited in a way I haven't been for weeks or maybe months. It was a relatively small set of purchases that has seemed to have rocketed me to another level of self-actualization.

So much so that I came home and cooked up a bowl of peas and corn.

Because self-actualized people eat vegetables.

And because I like peas and corn specifically.

And because I have to offset the salted soft pretzel one way or another.