i can do hard things

It's been a while since I posted.

More than a while.

I should have been updating for the last year, because things have been pretty great.

I was in four shows in 2013 and I directed one.

I signed with an agent and have done some acting jobs. I am an actor.

That one performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, so Ames and I went to England and Scotland and France and we saw a TON of theatre.

I held down a job (the same job) for more than a year and was rewarded with a shiny gold pin. This job supports me being an actor.

I also do Cross Fit now, which probably sounds really bad-a and I guess it is, even though I'm still kind of beginner-y. Someday I'll lift really heavy things, but in the meantime I just lift normal-weighted things.

For 2014 I'm trying to do this thing where I say "yes and" to the world. I'm trying to do hard things, self-actualize (my goal since 2009 and forever before then), and become an all-around good person. I want to be brave. I want to be kind. I want to be known for my kindness and not for unkindness or (worse) indifference.

I want to do hard things.

I'd also like to blog more because I miss blogging and it's something I should be doing, for myself and for posterity (mine or other peoples'). I have felt like I don't have much to say or anything interesting to write about or maybe I can't even write very well anymore at all, so I stopped. But I want to start writing again.

So I'm aiming to blog once a week about the hard things I've done-- hard for me, anyway. I'm sure my challenges are mostly lame and reek of privilege but it's my life and I want to make it my best one. A weekly self-empowerment wrap up.

SO-- this week I...

• Hugged people. I used to be a huggy person, but I haven't been for years for some reason. But I'm trying really hard to show physical affection for people, especially ones I like. So I hugged a lot of them. In some cases, I even hugged them a lot of times.
  
• Cried. The beginning of the week was hard for me, I guess you could say. I'm finding challenges in my life that I've not had to face before and frankly never thought I'd have to. Also being in the cast of Les Miserables has made me extremely sensitive-- I hope it's making me more compassionate. I don't want to be a crying baby all the time, but it's okay to feel things. Maybe I need to write about my feelings more so I can channel the feelings a little more.
  
• Went out for hours at a time with and around other humans not wearing eye makeup. This is literally something I have not done for years and it made me nervous for only one second. But you know, the crazy thing about exercising a lot and getting in touch with what's great about me, I don't really need the makeup. This is huge for me. And probably has much to do with the fact that I am pretty ugly in the show so clean skin without eye makeup really isn't all that bad after a whole day of purply dark circles under my eyes. A major achievement.
  
• Blogged. High five, blogosphere. I'm back.