Wrap-up, clean-up, I hate Scotland

So it's my last night in London. It's seriously late, and I have to be ready to go at 6:50am. What am I doing? Updating my blog and playing on facebook, obviously! I had intended to bid farewell to my boyfriend Ben, who is a very large clock so clearly it wouldn't have worked out, but I've spurned him because my Oyster pass officially doesn't work anymore. It kind of makes me sad not to have spent one last night together under the stars, but I have a feeling our love will rekindle sometime soon, so maybe it's better that I didn't say goodbye.

So what have I done since my Big Return from Paris? Well for one, I've seen seven plays since Tuesday night:

Merry Wives of Windsor

The Revenger's Tragedy

Taming of the Shrew

Macbeth

Wicked

Her Naked Skin

King Lear

Favorite this week would be a bit of a toss-up between Revenger's an

d Merry Wives. I know you were all expecting me to say Wicked was my favorite, but you would be wrong. I'm excited to report that I had TWO boyfriends in King Lear today, which made the experience all the grander. Also it made it easier to stand for three hours and the bloody eyeballs more bearable.

Thursday and Friday I spent bashing around Oxford and Stratford-Upon-Avon and it was

 DELICIOUS. I've definitely been converted to the idea of University in this country. Oxford is a gorgeous campus that makes me laugh at BYU's a

ttempts to landscape, and simultaneously rejoice in the fact that I don't actually go to UVU, which is just a heap of concrete. Our B&B in Stratford was the most charming little 

place called the Victoria Spa Lodge. Sadly the word "spa" did not mean mud baths and facials, so I don't even 

know why they called it a spa lodge, but the Victoria part pays homage to the fact that Queen Vicky spent the night there once. And wonder of wonders, I got to sleep in her very be

droom! Our host's first name was Dreen, like Doreen but without the O, which is another story entirely, but at least her gardens were lovely.

We saw Taming of the Shrew with the Royal Shakespeare Company and frankly, I felt like it left a lot to be desired. Also it was lewd and offensive and boring. I'm sure it didn't help that I was sitting there being jealous of the actress playing Bianca because she was in The Darjeeling Limited with one of my OTHER boyfriends, Jason Schwartzman, and they made out and stuff a lot in it. Jealousy!!! We romped around in the Holy Trinity Church graveyard for a while, saw

 some orbs but no actual ghosts, and then had to walk home along the canal-- in the dark, mind you-- because our coach driver

wasn't allowed to drive us anywhere after 10pm. It's probably better that way because he liked James Blunt. A lot. So much that he played nothing else the entire time we were on

 the bus, and I wanted to shoot myself. A day seeing various Shakespeare-related homes and museums, as well as a trip to Warwick Castle (or, what I like to call, Medieval Land) improved our spirits and resulted in many memorable photo ops. Since then I've been trying to cram in as many perfect Londony things to do before I'm forced to leave, which included a night out on the town (ie. down the street at Janet's Bar) with the girls.

If you were wondering if there is a barber shop on Fleet Street, the answer is yes, right next to a Wagamama.

If you were wondering if I ate a meat pie (sort of) across the street from the barber shop on Fleet Street, the answer is also yes.

If you're wondering if Westminster Abbey is my favorite building of all time, also also yes. We heard an organ recital there this afternoon, right when it was raining the hardest. As we walked in I was going to breathe a sigh of relief and the phrase "sanctuary" came to mind, but then I remembered that I actually went to Notre-Dame, so that joke wouldn't be funny.

So kind of things have I learned from my time here? 

1.  The first few weeks were a fluke: it actually is foggy in Londontown.

2.  I'm obsessed with museums and enormous churches.

3.  If I am cranky, let me hang out around some dead peoples' graves, and I'll perk right up...

4.  ...especially because I can typically find someone I recognize...

5.  ...which leads me into great history lessons, which I'm sure annoys my friends though they protest it interests them.

6.  I don't like girls saying the F word.

7.  There are very interesting fashion choices in England. (blog to follow)

8.  I like living in a city, and I like public transportation.

9.  It's a whole lot more fun living in a city that relates directly to my major and future career goals than in Provo, which is nice and is filled with people I love, but does little by way of historical stimulation.

10. Pub food is typically delicious.

11. I should probably do a blog about all my boyfriends in London, for they are many.

12. Unexpectedly, floating down the Seine was more aesthetically exhilarating than floating down the Thames.

Coups-de-gras-- at least for all the pouring it did today, Anna and I spotted a full double rainbow on our way home from the South Kensington Station for the last time. It was certainly a sign on many levels, and I felt like London was giving us a big, squishy goodbye. 

So now I leave the city that has called my name since I can remember, and I leave it with a heavy heart. Now I better understand why the English have thought Scotland so heathenish. I mean, I don't know firsthand, but if it's anything like Paris...?