23 August 2008

Identity Crisis

So I've thought about it-- I've thought about it for a long time-- and I've come to a conclusion that might startle you. It might shock and/or disappoint you. Nevertheless, it is a truth that needs to be faced.

I'm starting to hate my nickname Emdab.

I'll pause a moment while you gasp.





Recovered? Okay. Well here's the thing-- it used to tickle me. I used to love it, and I used to love people calling me by it. I kind of loved that everyone in folk dance called me Emdab, even teachers. I liked that it was kind of unique. I mean obviously I liked it at some point considering it's my blog address and part of my MSN screen name.

I think it's starting to wear on me though, kind of grate on the old nerves. I can't even give you a specific reason why. Maybe I'm just kind of over it. So many people use it to refer to me that it's not really special anymore (not that it was anything dreadfully clever in the first place, let's be real). Sure, it's usually used with an air of fondness and sometimes I like to hug and squish the people who coo at me, "Awww! Emdab!" A bit childish perhaps. Perhaps perhaps.

You know what it is, maybe? I think I mostly don't like it in two specific cases:
1. When people don't know me well/at all but use it. Irritating.
2. When it's used by people I know well/want to know better if-you-know-what-I-mean. There's something really kind of thrilling when Someone uses my full name, and I can't really tell you what it is. I don't even mind just Em or some variation on that theme, but Emdab just puts Special Someones in the same category as everyone else and it makes me feel like they have put me in that category as well. It's not comfortable.

I'm not saying I want people to stop using it completely. And I mean, what am I going to do if people call me Emdab? I'm not going to be like, "Cha, you know what? Don't call me that." because that's somehow rude, right? I'm just putting it out there for people to take it or leave it:

I'm falling out of love with Emdab. I wouldn't mind if you called me Emily. Em or Emmy or anything similar is acceptable, but let's not push it too far.


Now take a moment to look at my boyfriend Jonathan ---------------------->

4 comments:

Amy said...

Is Phlegmily a good variation on your full name? Cause if it's not I am fully prepared to start referring to you as Emily Llewellyn if needed.

Kirsten Krason said...

OH dear. I will change it on my blog. I know how you feel though. But I will never get tired of Beer I am afraid.

Jeremy said...

Oh, Emily. I can live without EmDab. You'll always be Trash Ball to me. ;)

Sidenote: I can't remember if we've ever discussed this or not, but have you seen the Elvis miniseries where your boyfriend plays Elvis? If not, you should.

Robbie said...

First of all, Jeremy- I laughed out loud.

Second- I totally get it. totally. Before I even read the whole post, I was like, I bet its because of reason #1 and reason #2 in your blog. So I already read you mind. That connects to you way more than calling you EmDab . . . ;)