Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I cheated this weekend. What? Is that what you wanted to hear? Is it? Fine, well-- I admit it. I cheated. I ate solid food. And it wasn't very good for me. There. I said it. And I didn't want to blog about it, okay? Sue me.
There were even witnesses! Multiple! Plenty of witnesses! What can I do-- pretend like it didn't happen? Blame my (slight) weight gain on "nature?"
Nope. It happened. I ate 1.5 (small) pieces of pizza, a cup of raman cabbage salad, about six bites of seven-layer bean dip on tortilla chips, some carrots and melon (go me), a babybel cheese wedge, one pumpkin chocolate chip cookie, one tinsy bite of chocolate cake, one half a cup of macaroni and cheese, and a cup of Special-K Berries cereal.
The truth is that I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. The smell of pulp was going to make me barf (A) and frankly, I just needed to prove to myself exactly how beneficial juicing is (B). I'm happy to tell you that I've readjusted to the smell of pulp and I didn't want to die when I was cleaning the juicer this morning, and it's been immediately clear how good juicing is for me.
Example: some of my digestive problems are apparently dairy-related. One half cup of macaroni and cheese and one half cup of skim milk with my cereal was enough to turn me back into the Queen of Indigestion. So. Now we know.
The good news is that I didn't completely undo the progress I had made in three days. But it's also a real eye opener in terms of how much of these foods I can (or can't) put in my body before it begins to make a difference. Unfortunately I still crave the nachos and I am so so proud of myself for not eating a whole half of a pizza (there are three in the fridge-- long story), but feeling rather intestinally unclear this morning, shall we say, definitely makes me reevaluate in a big way. Like, I kind of finally get it now when I think of my friends who I used to think eat like birds, taking just a tinsy bit of everything and somehow calling it "dinner." Well. That's much better for you, isn't it?
And I have to say, there's something empowering about fasting after the first few days are over. Saturday morning I woke up feeling skinny, and didn't have any desire to ruin that skinny (till 6pm and I saw the pizza-- but that was a conscious choice I promise!!!!). I went an extra few hours before having a morning juice because it just felt good for my body to feel empty. Does that make any sense without making me sound like I have an eating disorder (because clearly I do not)?
This morning I'm having a cantaloupe/apple/pineapple tasty and I've actually got a lunch that I will actually drink instead of throwing out-- spinach/cantaloupe/apple/blueberry/grape. I'm back in the game, everybody.
Day 6-- 159.0 lbs
12 September 2011
10 September 2011
-6.4 lbs what the whaaaaaat
I'm at a bit of a loss what to say today. I'm not feeling crazy, I am feeling a tinsy bit weak-willed, and I am not very hungry. Headaches are basically gone and I'm starting to actually feel some weight loss happening. Pants are looser!!
And I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock again lately. My desire to star on a wacky sitcom grows daily.
I haven't had any juice today, but yesterday I had a tasty combination of 2 oranges and a pear. YUMMO = $1.26
Day 4 - 158.6 lb
And I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock again lately. My desire to star on a wacky sitcom grows daily.
I haven't had any juice today, but yesterday I had a tasty combination of 2 oranges and a pear. YUMMO = $1.26
Day 4 - 158.6 lb
09 September 2011
day 3 - back up off of that cray-cray
Okay so maybe I really was a crazy person yesterday afternoon. You've got to understand, I had this crazy headache on the very top of my head and I was having a little food-related come-apart. For my theater-going friends, you know "The Bride's Lament" in The Drowsy Chaperone where Janet is singing about the monkey and then has a nervous breakdown and everyone in the cast has monkey faces and they're all dancing around her? That's what my afternoon was like, only it was food dancing around me-- nachos and PB&J and an especially cruel spicy tuna roll.
I hopped on the fruit juice train last night though, and feel much better about life. Ames and I (finally) saw Crazy, Stupid, Love to distract ourselves, and then I actually kind of fell asleep before 10:30! I slept great last night, and while I didn't get up in time to "get ready" this morning, I see the potential is there and I'm excited. I hope to get dressed with purpose each day next week.
The somewhat swift turn around from leading the Cuckoo Parade to a real feeling of mellow calmness kind of startled me. It made me take a cold, hard look at the fact that I am simply addicted to food. In the midst of it, all I could think about was changing my goal, replanning the next 30 days to include breaks, literal worrying about how I could possibly be social without involving Applebees or whatever.
Whoa, self. This crazy is not an attractive color on you. Step away from the hysteria.
But really. All I could do was weigh what food items I wanted to eat more-- what I was willing to "cheat" with. I've developed a very strange dependence that is definitely not okay. Sure, most of my eating revolves around social events, but how frequently do I run to the warehouse for work or to the bank or any number of errands and decide between a snack from Wendy's, Taco Bell, or the Target food court (soft pretzel combo $2 please hollaaaaaa!)? This unhealthy relationship with food and eating is what needs to be detoxed right now, so much more than my weight does. Even now, with a much clearer head, I feel generally like I'm never going to eat again. And that fills me with a hint of woe.
We're going to work seriously on that over the next few weeks. Yeesh.
I can't say that my body feels great as a result of this fast, but I can say I've become notably less pessimistic in the last few days. Is that the detox or is it a (somewhat) willing resignation to the things I can't control in my life (namely, work trips)? I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of both. But I'll take it. I'll let the poisonous attitude drain out of me with the non-digestible, foreign matter from my diet.
Last night's juice: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 lb grapes. DELICIOUS = $4.91.
This morning's happy: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 cup blackberries, 1/2 pineapple. TASTY = $4.72
Day 3 - 159.8 lbs
I hopped on the fruit juice train last night though, and feel much better about life. Ames and I (finally) saw Crazy, Stupid, Love to distract ourselves, and then I actually kind of fell asleep before 10:30! I slept great last night, and while I didn't get up in time to "get ready" this morning, I see the potential is there and I'm excited. I hope to get dressed with purpose each day next week.
The somewhat swift turn around from leading the Cuckoo Parade to a real feeling of mellow calmness kind of startled me. It made me take a cold, hard look at the fact that I am simply addicted to food. In the midst of it, all I could think about was changing my goal, replanning the next 30 days to include breaks, literal worrying about how I could possibly be social without involving Applebees or whatever.
Whoa, self. This crazy is not an attractive color on you. Step away from the hysteria.
But really. All I could do was weigh what food items I wanted to eat more-- what I was willing to "cheat" with. I've developed a very strange dependence that is definitely not okay. Sure, most of my eating revolves around social events, but how frequently do I run to the warehouse for work or to the bank or any number of errands and decide between a snack from Wendy's, Taco Bell, or the Target food court (soft pretzel combo $2 please hollaaaaaa!)? This unhealthy relationship with food and eating is what needs to be detoxed right now, so much more than my weight does. Even now, with a much clearer head, I feel generally like I'm never going to eat again. And that fills me with a hint of woe.
We're going to work seriously on that over the next few weeks. Yeesh.
I can't say that my body feels great as a result of this fast, but I can say I've become notably less pessimistic in the last few days. Is that the detox or is it a (somewhat) willing resignation to the things I can't control in my life (namely, work trips)? I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of both. But I'll take it. I'll let the poisonous attitude drain out of me with the non-digestible, foreign matter from my diet.
Last night's juice: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 lb grapes. DELICIOUS = $4.91.
This morning's happy: 1 pear, 1 apple, 1/2 cup blackberries, 1/2 pineapple. TASTY = $4.72
Day 3 - 159.8 lbs
08 September 2011
how food makes me mad
Imma be straight up with you right now:
Yesterday suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
I definitely expected the headache/nausea/general feeling of gloom and doom, but I didn't expect it to come on quite so quickly. Am I just a pansy? It's possible. Did I simply make a cucky recipe for my lunch? Definitely yes.
At any rate, by the time I got home after work, I was tired, gloomy, and felt an impending headache that I knew would reach epic proportions (and oh, it did). I didn't even drink my juice dinner. Now I know that was probably a poor choice in that it probably would have taken away some of the nausea associated with hunger and helped with any dehydration (certainly a factor which I'm taking much more seriously today), but I felt like I'd just barf it right up.
On the bright side, my Wednesday night TV lineup is shaping up quite nicely for the fall-- Ghost Hunters, Toddlers & Tiaras, and Dance Moms all last night, and I can look forward to America's Next Top Model starting next week. Also I watched the Salt Lake Pride episode of Rosanne's Nuts, which was actually quite entertaining and made me proud to be a Utahn.
What's interesting is that as I sat there in my foggy misery, fighting the urge to sneak a fistful of cinnamon Life cereal out of the pantry because who would find out?!!, I was suddenly acutely aware of inundation of food commercials. Fast food, snack food, even "healthy" food like yogurt, low-calorie cereals and chocolate-covered granola, all for 160 calories or less. We are so obsessed with "eating right" but at the end of the day, I don't want to be counting calories. What kind of life is that? What kind of pleasure is derived from that? "Watch your weight by eating whole grain Cheerios. Watch your weight by eating this Wendy's salad. Watch your weight by indulging in snacks." All of these messages tell me that I should be watching my weight by eating. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?
In addition, the number of commercials for vitamins, supplements, fiber powders, and pain medication is kind of astonishing. Not only should I eat to watch my weight, I should take additional pills to give me the nutrients I'm missing in the food I'm eating (to watch my weight). Why aren't the foods I'm supposed to eat to lose weight providing me proper nutrients so I don't have to take a supplement?
I get that my preferred diet of nachos, potato chips and chicken go-wraps aren't nutritionally sound. But at least shouldn't all this touted "healthy" food be nutritionally sound?
It was all very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if part of my sour mood was related to this realization. And now I'm sipping on an apple/pear/carrot juice that's really quite tasty. And it was (maybe) all worth it to see the numbers on the scale this morning.
Day 2 -- 160.8 lbs
I'd say that's a rather inspiring start to this experiment.
I've arrived at the gate to Crazy Town, everybody. I'm standing there, looking right in at all the loons and feeling sympathetic. I'm almost one of them.
Turns out the gloom of Day 1 hasn't subsided like I had hoped. No amount of remembering how I lost 4.2lbs overnight will lift my spirits, no amount of pinning pictures of pretty clothes I'll soon fit into will soothe my woes. I took one sip of my lunch and shivered with a gag. I'm wussing out!!!!
NO I AM NOT.
What I am finding is that the finicky in me is trying to take control. It's okay, body! You still like fruit! You don't have to drink the weird vegetables (yet)! I need me some grapes ASAP. I will live off of them, and apples, and pears, and carrots, if I must!
How do you think a puree of spicy tuna rolls would taste...?
No?
Wah.
Thank you Hilary for pinning this motivation just when I need it most.
Yesterday suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
I definitely expected the headache/nausea/general feeling of gloom and doom, but I didn't expect it to come on quite so quickly. Am I just a pansy? It's possible. Did I simply make a cucky recipe for my lunch? Definitely yes.
At any rate, by the time I got home after work, I was tired, gloomy, and felt an impending headache that I knew would reach epic proportions (and oh, it did). I didn't even drink my juice dinner. Now I know that was probably a poor choice in that it probably would have taken away some of the nausea associated with hunger and helped with any dehydration (certainly a factor which I'm taking much more seriously today), but I felt like I'd just barf it right up.
On the bright side, my Wednesday night TV lineup is shaping up quite nicely for the fall-- Ghost Hunters, Toddlers & Tiaras, and Dance Moms all last night, and I can look forward to America's Next Top Model starting next week. Also I watched the Salt Lake Pride episode of Rosanne's Nuts, which was actually quite entertaining and made me proud to be a Utahn.
What's interesting is that as I sat there in my foggy misery, fighting the urge to sneak a fistful of cinnamon Life cereal out of the pantry because who would find out?!!, I was suddenly acutely aware of inundation of food commercials. Fast food, snack food, even "healthy" food like yogurt, low-calorie cereals and chocolate-covered granola, all for 160 calories or less. We are so obsessed with "eating right" but at the end of the day, I don't want to be counting calories. What kind of life is that? What kind of pleasure is derived from that? "Watch your weight by eating whole grain Cheerios. Watch your weight by eating this Wendy's salad. Watch your weight by indulging in snacks." All of these messages tell me that I should be watching my weight by eating. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?
In addition, the number of commercials for vitamins, supplements, fiber powders, and pain medication is kind of astonishing. Not only should I eat to watch my weight, I should take additional pills to give me the nutrients I'm missing in the food I'm eating (to watch my weight). Why aren't the foods I'm supposed to eat to lose weight providing me proper nutrients so I don't have to take a supplement?
I get that my preferred diet of nachos, potato chips and chicken go-wraps aren't nutritionally sound. But at least shouldn't all this touted "healthy" food be nutritionally sound?
It was all very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if part of my sour mood was related to this realization. And now I'm sipping on an apple/pear/carrot juice that's really quite tasty. And it was (maybe) all worth it to see the numbers on the scale this morning.
Day 2 -- 160.8 lbs
I'd say that's a rather inspiring start to this experiment.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
.2PM UPDATE.
I've arrived at the gate to Crazy Town, everybody. I'm standing there, looking right in at all the loons and feeling sympathetic. I'm almost one of them.
Turns out the gloom of Day 1 hasn't subsided like I had hoped. No amount of remembering how I lost 4.2lbs overnight will lift my spirits, no amount of pinning pictures of pretty clothes I'll soon fit into will soothe my woes. I took one sip of my lunch and shivered with a gag. I'm wussing out!!!!
NO I AM NOT.
What I am finding is that the finicky in me is trying to take control. It's okay, body! You still like fruit! You don't have to drink the weird vegetables (yet)! I need me some grapes ASAP. I will live off of them, and apples, and pears, and carrots, if I must!
How do you think a puree of spicy tuna rolls would taste...?
No?
Wah.
Thank you Hilary for pinning this motivation just when I need it most.
07 September 2011
day 1 - it begins
Today I feel like this (about juicing, not an open marriage-- to be clear):
Yesterday we went and rather blindly made our way through the produce department at Winco, trying to figure out exactly what items we need for the next two days or so, for both of us, for recipes we haven't tried (I have been a rather picky eater in my day, so this is kind of uncomfortable territory). We spent exactly $26.26 on produce, figuring it will get us through the next 2.5 days or so. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully? Who even knows.
We test ran a batch of fresh apple juice made with... actual fresh apples. Crazy, right?
And guess what it tasted like?
Actual, fresh apples.
My mind is blown. I don't even have babies yet and I already want to die at the thought of buying expensive Mott's apple juice instead of crushing up my own for their someday bottles. Only four little apples resulted in a 16oz glass of juice with nothing added. Oh brave new world!
A word about The Juicer.
We got the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer Pro (AS SEEN ON TV!). We had been looking at the Breville Juice Fountain Plus but we wanted to get cracking, and Bed, Bath & Beyond had it for a pretty good price, so we just went with it. Also, it's as seen on tv, so how can you go wrong, ammarite?
And for a second Arrested Development reference in a single post, Martin Short's character UNCLE JACK is based on the real-life Jack Lalanne, who was a bodybuilder and fitness guru. So if you're wondering if this image will make me giggle every single day, you're right on the money.
So okay, this morning we got up and made some juice. First we made "lunch," which resulted in much more juice than we expected it to-- two servings really. Kale, cucumber, apples, celery, lemon, and a tiny bit of ginger. I'm thinking there's too much cucumber, not enough kale. Look at me! I'm already nutrient conscious! Then we made breakfast: two servings of two pears, apple and ginger.
Word to the wise: a little bit of ginger goes a long way.
I'm not sure what we'll have for dinner-- probably something with more greens, maybe a smidge of citrus? We'll see.
As promised, I'm going to chronicle my daily weight loss because that is among my motivating factors in this experiment. I also want to keep a running total of how much I spend on food because I can already tell I'm going to have a lot more money in the bank at the end of the month than I otherwise would.
And so (even though I'm somewhat embarrassed by what I've gained back over the last year)...
Day 1-- 165.0 lbs.
Money spent (as of 10:30AM)-- $5.01
Yesterday we went and rather blindly made our way through the produce department at Winco, trying to figure out exactly what items we need for the next two days or so, for both of us, for recipes we haven't tried (I have been a rather picky eater in my day, so this is kind of uncomfortable territory). We spent exactly $26.26 on produce, figuring it will get us through the next 2.5 days or so. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully? Who even knows.
We test ran a batch of fresh apple juice made with... actual fresh apples. Crazy, right?
And guess what it tasted like?
Actual, fresh apples.
My mind is blown. I don't even have babies yet and I already want to die at the thought of buying expensive Mott's apple juice instead of crushing up my own for their someday bottles. Only four little apples resulted in a 16oz glass of juice with nothing added. Oh brave new world!
A word about The Juicer.
We got the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer Pro (AS SEEN ON TV!). We had been looking at the Breville Juice Fountain Plus but we wanted to get cracking, and Bed, Bath & Beyond had it for a pretty good price, so we just went with it. Also, it's as seen on tv, so how can you go wrong, ammarite?
And for a second Arrested Development reference in a single post, Martin Short's character UNCLE JACK is based on the real-life Jack Lalanne, who was a bodybuilder and fitness guru. So if you're wondering if this image will make me giggle every single day, you're right on the money.So okay, this morning we got up and made some juice. First we made "lunch," which resulted in much more juice than we expected it to-- two servings really. Kale, cucumber, apples, celery, lemon, and a tiny bit of ginger. I'm thinking there's too much cucumber, not enough kale. Look at me! I'm already nutrient conscious! Then we made breakfast: two servings of two pears, apple and ginger.
Word to the wise: a little bit of ginger goes a long way.
I'm not sure what we'll have for dinner-- probably something with more greens, maybe a smidge of citrus? We'll see.
As promised, I'm going to chronicle my daily weight loss because that is among my motivating factors in this experiment. I also want to keep a running total of how much I spend on food because I can already tell I'm going to have a lot more money in the bank at the end of the month than I otherwise would.
And so (even though I'm somewhat embarrassed by what I've gained back over the last year)...
Day 1-- 165.0 lbs.
Money spent (as of 10:30AM)-- $5.01
06 September 2011
on your mark - get set
Tomorrow is the Big Day.
Tomorrow begins JUICE FAST 2011.
Yesterday we got our juicer, today we're taking recipes to the grocery store for our first shopping trip, and tomorrow-- we begin.
My goal is to juice for at least 30 days straight. In another time (meaning, a week ago) this seemed like a monumental undertaking. In fact, a week ago I only planned to go ten days at a time and reevaluate after each ten days. But since it has been 8 days since my last Diet Coke and still going very strong, I'm going to commit to 30 days.
September 7 - October 6.
I hate to set out with a stipulation, but I will confess, I do plan to "cheat" one single evening to celebrate my birthday. I'm having a party at some point (who knows when, due to mumblegrumble work trips) and I am going to have some nachos for turning 25, darn it. But you know, I saw this on pinterest today and it rang true, even though I haven't even started yet:
Turning 25 is not a thing to "reward" myself for, particularly because so many people turn 25. It's not a rite, it's not an achievement, and even if it were either of those things, a "reward" in the form of nachos (while delicious) doesn't sit right with me. I look forward to this continued understanding of what I put into my body and why.
Note: but I will still eat nachos for my birthday. Because I like them.
ANYWAY.
Juice Fast 2011. Tomorrow is Day 1. Get excited about some updates regarding my progress. I'm keeping track of my weight and inches lost over here on the right ------> I'm already feeling peaceful and in control.
I can't wait to heal my body a little and maybe a little bit of my spirit too.
Tomorrow begins JUICE FAST 2011.
Yesterday we got our juicer, today we're taking recipes to the grocery store for our first shopping trip, and tomorrow-- we begin.
My goal is to juice for at least 30 days straight. In another time (meaning, a week ago) this seemed like a monumental undertaking. In fact, a week ago I only planned to go ten days at a time and reevaluate after each ten days. But since it has been 8 days since my last Diet Coke and still going very strong, I'm going to commit to 30 days.
September 7 - October 6.
I hate to set out with a stipulation, but I will confess, I do plan to "cheat" one single evening to celebrate my birthday. I'm having a party at some point (who knows when, due to mumblegrumble work trips) and I am going to have some nachos for turning 25, darn it. But you know, I saw this on pinterest today and it rang true, even though I haven't even started yet:
Turning 25 is not a thing to "reward" myself for, particularly because so many people turn 25. It's not a rite, it's not an achievement, and even if it were either of those things, a "reward" in the form of nachos (while delicious) doesn't sit right with me. I look forward to this continued understanding of what I put into my body and why.
Note: but I will still eat nachos for my birthday. Because I like them.
ANYWAY.
Juice Fast 2011. Tomorrow is Day 1. Get excited about some updates regarding my progress. I'm keeping track of my weight and inches lost over here on the right ------> I'm already feeling peaceful and in control.
I can't wait to heal my body a little and maybe a little bit of my spirit too.
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