Yesterday suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
I definitely expected the headache/nausea/general feeling of gloom and doom, but I didn't expect it to come on quite so quickly. Am I just a pansy? It's possible. Did I simply make a cucky recipe for my lunch? Definitely yes.
At any rate, by the time I got home after work, I was tired, gloomy, and felt an impending headache that I knew would reach epic proportions (and oh, it did). I didn't even drink my juice dinner. Now I know that was probably a poor choice in that it probably would have taken away some of the nausea associated with hunger and helped with any dehydration (certainly a factor which I'm taking much more seriously today), but I felt like I'd just barf it right up.
On the bright side, my Wednesday night TV lineup is shaping up quite nicely for the fall-- Ghost Hunters, Toddlers & Tiaras, and Dance Moms all last night, and I can look forward to America's Next Top Model starting next week. Also I watched the Salt Lake Pride episode of Rosanne's Nuts, which was actually quite entertaining and made me proud to be a Utahn.
What's interesting is that as I sat there in my foggy misery, fighting the urge to sneak a fistful of cinnamon Life cereal out of the pantry because who would find out?!!, I was suddenly acutely aware of inundation of food commercials. Fast food, snack food, even "healthy" food like yogurt, low-calorie cereals and chocolate-covered granola, all for 160 calories or less. We are so obsessed with "eating right" but at the end of the day, I don't want to be counting calories. What kind of life is that? What kind of pleasure is derived from that? "Watch your weight by eating whole grain Cheerios. Watch your weight by eating this Wendy's salad. Watch your weight by indulging in snacks." All of these messages tell me that I should be watching my weight by eating. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?
In addition, the number of commercials for vitamins, supplements, fiber powders, and pain medication is kind of astonishing. Not only should I eat to watch my weight, I should take additional pills to give me the nutrients I'm missing in the food I'm eating (to watch my weight). Why aren't the foods I'm supposed to eat to lose weight providing me proper nutrients so I don't have to take a supplement?
I get that my preferred diet of nachos, potato chips and chicken go-wraps aren't nutritionally sound. But at least shouldn't all this touted "healthy" food be nutritionally sound?
It was all very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if part of my sour mood was related to this realization. And now I'm sipping on an apple/pear/carrot juice that's really quite tasty. And it was (maybe) all worth it to see the numbers on the scale this morning.
Day 2 -- 160.8 lbs
I'd say that's a rather inspiring start to this experiment.
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.2PM UPDATE.
I've arrived at the gate to Crazy Town, everybody. I'm standing there, looking right in at all the loons and feeling sympathetic. I'm almost one of them.
Turns out the gloom of Day 1 hasn't subsided like I had hoped. No amount of remembering how I lost 4.2lbs overnight will lift my spirits, no amount of pinning pictures of pretty clothes I'll soon fit into will soothe my woes. I took one sip of my lunch and shivered with a gag. I'm wussing out!!!!
NO I AM NOT.
What I am finding is that the finicky in me is trying to take control. It's okay, body! You still like fruit! You don't have to drink the weird vegetables (yet)! I need me some grapes ASAP. I will live off of them, and apples, and pears, and carrots, if I must!
How do you think a puree of spicy tuna rolls would taste...?
No?
Wah.
Thank you Hilary for pinning this motivation just when I need it most.
2 comments:
Holy crap almost 5 lbs? I need to juice. Can I buy your juicer when you're done with this month and never wanna see it again?
you are seriously inspiring me. i would love to do this to get my life on a healthy course devoid of the fast food crap that i stuff my mouth with.
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