Last night, something strange happened.
I went running.
I mean, like for exercise. I ran. I went running.
No, I wasn't running away from the rec center. And I wasn't running to a Wendy's Homestyle Chicken Go-Wrap. I was just there, and I was on a treadmill, and I ran-- of my own accord-- and I didn't hate it.
Guys, this is a big deal. I'm growing up. AND getting fit.
The rec center is funny. I like it because I really feel like one of the people. There are just all kinds of ages and shapes and work-out clothes there on those cardio machines, just listening to their tunes and reading their books and watching their TVs. I'm a frequent visitor enough that I'm starting to make some eye-contact-head-nod-friends. We're like, "Hello. I acknowledge our similar schedules and sweaty faces. Good job for being here."
There are some weirdies. My favorite is the little old gentleman who has sat next to me on the stationary bikes three times now. He's got that crinkly old-man skin that's kind of cracking on his foreheard, and wears jeans (jeans!) that are a little too short, and bright white sneakers with tube socks. More times than not I notice he's just sitting there, arms crossed in his flannel shirt, completely unmoving as he watches his personal television with fascination. I wonder about him. Does he not have a TV at home? Does he go to the rec center under the pretense of staying active but he really just wants to watch Criminal Minds reruns? Has he recently had some medical procedure that has some physical activity recommended for recovery but he's really not all that interested? I wonder.
I also noticed a startling number of people milling about yesterday who are apparently and inexplicably unable to move their arms when they walk. It was a Seinfeld episode, only real life.
The guy on the treadmill next to me last night was throwing down a tremendous stank. I guess that's got to be expected at any fitness facility, but it really almost forced me to pack up and start on another machine. Tip: if you're going to work out in layers upon layers of clothing to sweat it out just a little extra, KEEP YOURSELF CLEAN. Blegh.
But remember how I run now?
Weird.
29 March 2011
24 March 2011
good day
Oh hey guys.
I know it's early and we don't even start rehearsals for weeks and we won't even open the show till June, but I'm just really excited about being a little something like this:
in this:
with people like this:
SQUEEEEEEE.
I know it's early and we don't even start rehearsals for weeks and we won't even open the show till June, but I'm just really excited about being a little something like this:
in this:with people like this:
SQUEEEEEEE.
22 March 2011
happy
You know the thing about trying to be nice and happy to people is that you start to feel nice and happy about yourself.
Today is spring-ish. It was kind-of-snowing a little while ago, but the sun is out and it's pretty much jacket weather again. It's so nice to sit here knowing it's starting to warm up, almost time to start riding bikes around town again and open the windows (but not very far because we don't have screens and it turns out our kitty is a fan of window sills).
It's also nice to know things happen in your life for a reason, and you are given opportunities to meet new people and love them and love yourself and love laughing and working hard. I'm grateful for the new people in my life lately. I'm so sad I didn't know them till now. I feel like I've been wasting so much time without them.
I have the nicest husband boy, too. He is so good to me and kind and caring, and he brings me drinks to work and rubs my feet like every second and does so much to run the household I'm away from so much. He's also the cutest, so.
It's a good day, everybody.
Today is spring-ish. It was kind-of-snowing a little while ago, but the sun is out and it's pretty much jacket weather again. It's so nice to sit here knowing it's starting to warm up, almost time to start riding bikes around town again and open the windows (but not very far because we don't have screens and it turns out our kitty is a fan of window sills).
It's also nice to know things happen in your life for a reason, and you are given opportunities to meet new people and love them and love yourself and love laughing and working hard. I'm grateful for the new people in my life lately. I'm so sad I didn't know them till now. I feel like I've been wasting so much time without them.
I have the nicest husband boy, too. He is so good to me and kind and caring, and he brings me drinks to work and rubs my feet like every second and does so much to run the household I'm away from so much. He's also the cutest, so.
It's a good day, everybody.
16 March 2011
self-improvement
Dear Body,
I just wanted to briefly apologize for all I've put you through in recent months-- the early mornings, the late nights, the tension headaches, the unfulfilled promises of hotness. It's been rough! I get it! And now, on top of it, I'm adding a daily fitness routine. This should help to fulfill the promises of hotness and size 4 jeans, but now you have sore muscles and are generally fatigued. Sorry about that.
I'm doing my best to fuel you right, though. I'm sure you've noticed the dramatic cut-back in Diet Coke intake. The Coca-Cola company may be taking a major hit without my economic contributions, but I think you can agree, Body, it's for the best. I'm trying to keep you hydrated with lots of spring water that isn't actually sweetened by any kind of flavoring at all. Can you believe it? I'm growing up.
There's not much I can do about the early mornings, or even the late nights sometimes, but in an effort to keep you in shape for all these gym visits, we're working together to improve mental health, which should improve the spirit too. It's nice working toward balanced health. I mean, I think you can agree that you needed a little break too as we've been basically unconcerned lately with eating habits. Stressful times aren't the best for breaking your back with a killer diet or workout program. And all those chips tasted good, didn't they?
But won't it be nice when you can (finally) fit into this in a few months?
I mean, really, Body. We can do this!!
Just hang in there, kay? Keep helping me get through the day-to-day and I promise to keep working toward treating you better. You're the only body I've got and I like you. Sorry for not proving it always!
Love ya!
Emily
I just wanted to briefly apologize for all I've put you through in recent months-- the early mornings, the late nights, the tension headaches, the unfulfilled promises of hotness. It's been rough! I get it! And now, on top of it, I'm adding a daily fitness routine. This should help to fulfill the promises of hotness and size 4 jeans, but now you have sore muscles and are generally fatigued. Sorry about that.
I'm doing my best to fuel you right, though. I'm sure you've noticed the dramatic cut-back in Diet Coke intake. The Coca-Cola company may be taking a major hit without my economic contributions, but I think you can agree, Body, it's for the best. I'm trying to keep you hydrated with lots of spring water that isn't actually sweetened by any kind of flavoring at all. Can you believe it? I'm growing up.
There's not much I can do about the early mornings, or even the late nights sometimes, but in an effort to keep you in shape for all these gym visits, we're working together to improve mental health, which should improve the spirit too. It's nice working toward balanced health. I mean, I think you can agree that you needed a little break too as we've been basically unconcerned lately with eating habits. Stressful times aren't the best for breaking your back with a killer diet or workout program. And all those chips tasted good, didn't they?
But won't it be nice when you can (finally) fit into this in a few months?
I mean, really, Body. We can do this!!Just hang in there, kay? Keep helping me get through the day-to-day and I promise to keep working toward treating you better. You're the only body I've got and I like you. Sorry for not proving it always!
Love ya!
Emily
09 March 2011
nice is different than good
A while back, I attended a meeting with various students and faculty at UVU where the concept of "professionalism" in theater was discussed. The general consensus was that, in short, to be professional is to be nice. Of all the advice about working in theater, the overarching theme was simply, be nice. Isn't that interesting? I thought it was interesting. It has really sunk in with me during my recent experience in A Tale of Two Cities, but I also like to think it can be applied to life in general.
Be nice.
What more is there?
I know I'm not always the nicest human. I feel badly about that. I know sometimes I get aggravated easily and maybe it makes me short with others, and I know I have inbred crust which can sometimes manifest itself in snark (which I like to think of as realistic, but that doesn't means it's necessary to actually be snarky), and I know I can sometimes be impatient. But I want to be nice. I am striving to be nice. People like other people when they are nice.
One thing I've learned about being nice is that you don't talk about yourself ALL THE TIME. Maybe that sounds weird, but it makes sense to me. If you're talking about yourself all the time, and always telling people how awesome you are, not only is it annoying, but it also implies to a certain extent that you are better than the person you're talking to. And that is not nice. It doesn't matter how talented you are if you aren't being nice about it-- if you have to insult others, quietly or bluntly, to prove how good you are, well. It's also generally tiresome, and it isn't nice to exhaust your neighbor.
People also tend to come together and support each other when they're focused on other people and not themselves. In the show, we are at our best when our concern is for other people-- when we are giving to others. We share the stage, we share the spotlight. We give, and allow others to take. We zip costumes for each other. We cry for each other onstage. We hold hands to balance each other on the scary set (that's my favorite).
It's true what they say about being nice to others that makes you feel good about yourself.
On this Happy Wednesday, I want to make a promise to myself and to everyone I know that I'm going to make more of an effort to be nice. I don't want to say rude things about people, I don't want to be catty, and I don't want to be self-centered. I know the faults in me will prevent me from getting along with every single person I encounter, but I can still be polite and kind. I want to think about nice things I can do for people, and then do them.
And do you know what else is nice? Spring is in the air. Which means, aside from having nice weather, it means it's almost time to go here with the nicest family of all (mine!):
Be nice.
What more is there?
I know I'm not always the nicest human. I feel badly about that. I know sometimes I get aggravated easily and maybe it makes me short with others, and I know I have inbred crust which can sometimes manifest itself in snark (which I like to think of as realistic, but that doesn't means it's necessary to actually be snarky), and I know I can sometimes be impatient. But I want to be nice. I am striving to be nice. People like other people when they are nice.
One thing I've learned about being nice is that you don't talk about yourself ALL THE TIME. Maybe that sounds weird, but it makes sense to me. If you're talking about yourself all the time, and always telling people how awesome you are, not only is it annoying, but it also implies to a certain extent that you are better than the person you're talking to. And that is not nice. It doesn't matter how talented you are if you aren't being nice about it-- if you have to insult others, quietly or bluntly, to prove how good you are, well. It's also generally tiresome, and it isn't nice to exhaust your neighbor.
People also tend to come together and support each other when they're focused on other people and not themselves. In the show, we are at our best when our concern is for other people-- when we are giving to others. We share the stage, we share the spotlight. We give, and allow others to take. We zip costumes for each other. We cry for each other onstage. We hold hands to balance each other on the scary set (that's my favorite).
It's true what they say about being nice to others that makes you feel good about yourself.
On this Happy Wednesday, I want to make a promise to myself and to everyone I know that I'm going to make more of an effort to be nice. I don't want to say rude things about people, I don't want to be catty, and I don't want to be self-centered. I know the faults in me will prevent me from getting along with every single person I encounter, but I can still be polite and kind. I want to think about nice things I can do for people, and then do them.
And do you know what else is nice? Spring is in the air. Which means, aside from having nice weather, it means it's almost time to go here with the nicest family of all (mine!):
07 March 2011
how i've been sad, and now i'm not, and will change my hair
It's been a long week. We moved into a new place, cleaned and rid ourselves of the old place (and the hell noise upstairs), painted our bedroom and the under-the-stairs pantry of our new place, raided IKEA, and brought home our kitty-face Trevor all in the midst of our already work- and show-ridden schedule.
Phew.
hyperboleandahalf
Needless to say, it sucked. Poor Ames. Poor friends. Poor everyone around me.
But the good news is that with March has come a renewed sense of hope and clarity. Maybe it's the impending spring. Maybe it's the mid-life crisis I'm about to have on my hair. Isn't weird how having nice hair changes your whole perspective on life? I mean, really. Call me crazy (I won't be offended because I've seriously been a crazy person lately), but my self-esteem is just through the roof when I have good hair. And since my personality/hormones/environment/schedule has kind of balanced lately, I figure it's time for a big change.
Here's my plan.
I wear a wig in A Tale of Two Cities (playing at Hale Centre Theatre till April 9 Ames and I play TThS buy your tickets HERE you don't want to miss it) that looks like this:
Maybe it's the opportunity to yell and be really pissed a lot lately that's been so cathartic for my emotions? But that's beside the point. The point is, look at my hair. It is blonde. And I'm in love with/terrified of it. But I get a lot of compliments and it's really starting to grow on me. So I'm going to go through with my previous plans from summer and GO NUTS.
Bring it on, Emily Vancamp.
The question now becomes how to cut it.
Suggestions?
Aside from my impending makeover, I've also had a breakthrough with this little buddy:
At work I've been having a series of treatments which have changed my life so drastically and deserve a post of their own, but I just can't go another minute without mentioning my Alpha-Stim Stress Control System.
LIFE CHANGING.
It's a little electro-therapy stimulator that I just clip to my ears for 20-60 minutes each day and it magically (but not) resets my brain chemistry to not only decrease the number of headaches I get (which is typically a lot), but has also absolutely, 100%, unarguably balanced my anxiety and stress to such a degree, I can hardly explain. It works like this:
I have developed such an ability to handle anxiety and talk myself off cliffs. Of course there are still major stresses in life, but my capacity to just handle it has had a 150% turn-around. Best part is: NO MEDICATION! Even when I'm not exactly happy, I've found that I'm at least just neutral. In the last few weeks I haven't cried for no reason. Guys. It's a miracle. And I don't use the word lightly.
So now that we're into March, the show is open and I have a new lease on life, I'm going to change my look, audition for some more stuff, (finally) start working out again, and snuggle with this guy:
Phew.
It's been interesting, because I actually kind of expected myself to have a total come-apart (or a few) through this process. The last few months have been kind of emotionally trying, for no exact reason that I can put my finger on. It's been a lot of rather crippling anxiety and tears which generally make me feel incapable of, oh, anything. I hated work, I hated our apartment, I hated tech week (am I allowed to admit that?), I hated food (which explains why I couldn't [can't] stop eating it...?), I hated the phone, I hate (still) my hair.
I pretty much spent the majority of February looking like:
I pretty much spent the majority of February looking like:
hyperboleandahalfNeedless to say, it sucked. Poor Ames. Poor friends. Poor everyone around me.
But the good news is that with March has come a renewed sense of hope and clarity. Maybe it's the impending spring. Maybe it's the mid-life crisis I'm about to have on my hair. Isn't weird how having nice hair changes your whole perspective on life? I mean, really. Call me crazy (I won't be offended because I've seriously been a crazy person lately), but my self-esteem is just through the roof when I have good hair. And since my personality/hormones/environment/schedule has kind of balanced lately, I figure it's time for a big change.
Here's my plan.
I wear a wig in A Tale of Two Cities (playing at Hale Centre Theatre till April 9 Ames and I play TThS buy your tickets HERE you don't want to miss it) that looks like this:
Maybe it's the opportunity to yell and be really pissed a lot lately that's been so cathartic for my emotions? But that's beside the point. The point is, look at my hair. It is blonde. And I'm in love with/terrified of it. But I get a lot of compliments and it's really starting to grow on me. So I'm going to go through with my previous plans from summer and GO NUTS.
Bring it on, Emily Vancamp.
The question now becomes how to cut it.Suggestions?
Aside from my impending makeover, I've also had a breakthrough with this little buddy:
At work I've been having a series of treatments which have changed my life so drastically and deserve a post of their own, but I just can't go another minute without mentioning my Alpha-Stim Stress Control System.LIFE CHANGING.
It's a little electro-therapy stimulator that I just clip to my ears for 20-60 minutes each day and it magically (but not) resets my brain chemistry to not only decrease the number of headaches I get (which is typically a lot), but has also absolutely, 100%, unarguably balanced my anxiety and stress to such a degree, I can hardly explain. It works like this:
I have developed such an ability to handle anxiety and talk myself off cliffs. Of course there are still major stresses in life, but my capacity to just handle it has had a 150% turn-around. Best part is: NO MEDICATION! Even when I'm not exactly happy, I've found that I'm at least just neutral. In the last few weeks I haven't cried for no reason. Guys. It's a miracle. And I don't use the word lightly.So now that we're into March, the show is open and I have a new lease on life, I'm going to change my look, audition for some more stuff, (finally) start working out again, and snuggle with this guy:
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